


Boy Scout's Holiday

by amcw177



Category: The Avengers (2012), Thor (2011)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, M/M, Pseudo-Incest, Street Racing, and a whole lot of cars, non-powered
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-06-05
Updated: 2012-06-05
Packaged: 2017-11-06 23:12:56
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 26
Words: 44,832
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/424286
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/amcw177/pseuds/amcw177
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When old man Odinson dies he leaves his sons two things: A thriving auto tuning shop and a lot of baggage. The latter mostly belongs to Loki who is sick of driving in Thor's slipstream. Time for a change in leadership. What ensues is a plan that gets resurrected often enough to start the zombie apocalypse all on its own, explosions, dealings with overly invested reporters, epiphanies about heritage, a generous amount of illegal street racing, and the fact that what you get isn't always what you wanted but might very well be what you needed.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Status Quo or: This Is Not How It Works

**Author's Note:**

> This was birthed from an unfortunate coincidence of obsessions. One, my undying love for fast cars and subsequently a very prominent addiction to the _The Fast & The Furious_ movies. Some parts of which you will find allusions to in this fic. And secondly, my discovery of _Thor_ around the same time as I got _Fast Five_ on DVD. You see where this is going.
> 
> Originally, this started out as a fun ficlet but the idea took hold and half a year later we have this. I should add that it (very) vaguely follows some events as depicted in _Thor_ and I couldn't resist sneaking in a few lines from the movie. Just saying so you're not going _BWZUH?_ when you encounter anything familiar.
> 
> How Alex and Sean of _X-Men: First Class_ fame ended up in this is still somewhat of a mystery to me but by the time I realised that I had accidentally XMFC it was too late. And I liked them so much that I decided to make it officially them. I didn't tag it as a crossover though because, technically, it isn't. It's really just the two of them, probably wondering what the hell they did wrong to deserve this.
> 
> Also, one (nom.: 1) _Hot Fuzz_ reference. Because.
> 
> Basically, this is my personal attempt at fixing things. With cars. So, if you want your favourite dysfunctional pair of Nordic siblings to work through their issues and team up to kick some ass I reckon (and hope) this is your poison.
> 
> Last but not least some thanks: To [kentucka](http://archiveofourown.org/users/kentucka/profile) without whom this story wouldn't ever have made it past the 'Oh! Shiny!' stage and for wading through this multiple times as beta. To [sphinxofthenile](http://archiveofourown.org/users/sphinxofthenile/profile) and [kchanlp](http://archiveofourown.org/users/kchanlp/profile) for playing test subjects and telling me which parts sucked. Plus, much needed hand-holding. K, I hope you're not angry with me for doubling back to my original title. I'm awful like that. 
> 
> Apologies for any remaining suckage and this long-ass author's note.
> 
> Ps.: Whoever witnessed me updating this thing for several hours - I'm sorry. But I am done now. \o/

\---

_It's all fun and games until somebody gets hurt.  
And then somebody else gets to have fun._

**Proverb, addendum by unknown**

\---

Getting shot had not been part of the plan. Loki was willing to admit that much.

He wasn't entirely sure what had gone wrong but the fact that he was bleeding out on the lawn suggested that it was major. It was also beginning to get a bit hard to think.

He would have screamed if he had still remembered how to but his lungs were refusing to cooperate. Not that anybody would have heard him because the bloody lot was passed out in the house and not even a gunshot could wake them.

Stupid, irritating, good for nothing-

" _Loki!_ " The shout came from the porch and was distinctly female.

Sif. It figured, since she was the only person Loki knew who could drink as much as his brother without suffering from any of the annoying side-effects, like alcohol poisoning and such. She was also a light sleeper.

"Shit, what-," she slid to the ground next to him, eyes wide and full of panic which was highly uncharacteristic for her. He had to look even worse than he felt. And he felt like he'd been run over by one of John Deere's finest so it had to be pretty bad.

"Please tell me you're sober." Loki wheezed, clutching his right shoulder. He didn't even know why. Digging his palm into the wound only served to increase the pain but precious blood was spilling onto the grass and it seemed like a good idea to stop it from doing that.

"What? What kind of a stupid question is that?" Sif had a way of enforcing normalcy. It was not always as comforting as she seemed to think.

"Good," he coughed, winced, and spat blood all at the same time, which was an interesting experience but not one he wanted to repeat. He clung to Sif's t-shirt, "because I think I may need to see a doctor."

He might have been underselling it though. In his head it was more or less all capslock gargling with a couple of _'HOSPITAL! NOW'_ pleas thrown in.

"Sure." She gave a nod that indicated she had no intention of taking him anywhere at all and yelled for the others. If anyone could rouse them from their post-Jägermeister sleep it was her.

Loki, on the other hand, thought this was a good moment to black out.


	2. The Little Things In Life

It was a cacophony of color, lights, and sound. Engines were roaring, tires were leaving rubber marks on the asphalt like black scars and the staccato beats of hip hop were battling against the rhythm of Latin tunes and other genres nobody quite knew how to categorize - all of it at top volume, of course.

Race nights were always a big deal. Everyone tried to outdo themselves. It was like watching peacocks ruffle their feathers. Loki thought it was ridiculous but if he were to complain he would have had to start with his own brother anyway.

Thor Odinson, who was built like a mountain and who drove a bright red Camaro SS which he lovingly referred to as his _’Hammer’_. Thor Odinson, who, technically, wasn't even Loki's brother but they had gotten so used to thinking of each other as such that it didn't matter anymore.

Thor Odinson, the cause of most of Loki's headaches on the best of days and the bane of his existence the rest of the time.

Compared to him _everyone_ looked like malnourished chickens.

Loki sighed when he heard his brother's deep rumble of a laugh a few cars over and forced his attention back to the engine he was pretending to be cleaning while eavesdropping on a conversation.

"You pulled Loki, huh?" The scrawny, red-haired kid was saying to a blond boy who was barely out of his teens. They were sitting a few feet away, on an orange abomination that Loki strongly suspected was made of cardboard.

"Who's that?" The blond inquired and Loki barely avoided grinning. A newbie. Well, that was convenient.

The Odinson brothers had a certain reputation. People only raced Thor to take pictures of his tail lights or if they were completely nuts. They rarely raced Loki because there was this very persistent rumor that he cheated. Loki couldn't fathom where it came from because all he ever did was pass the finish line ahead of everyone else. It mattered only marginally how he got there as long as he got there first.

But occasionally a new racer would wander into town, all full of dreams and ambition and without any clue as to who they were. That was when Loki put his name in the pot and miraculously drew the new kid.

"The lanky one over there," Loki heard one of them say and grimaced. Why did everyone call him lanky? Just because he wasn't built like a freaking freight train didn't mean he was a beanpole by default. Fucking teenagers - no respect for their elders anymore.

There was some contemplative silence before the new kid started to laugh, "Piece o' cake, dude."

If Loki had been a man of lesser self-restraint he would have walked over there and punched the noob in the face. But he consoled himself with the fact that he was about to take all of the kid's pocket money.

"I dunno, man. Guy's got a reputation." One of them had at least half a brain.

Loki peered past the open hood of his Mustang and caught the blonde wannabe proudly patting the side of his oversized buggy, "Don't worry. I got this. He won't know what hit him."

 _Well_ , Loki thought, _Likewise._

\---

"Don't feel too bad about it, brother," Thor's bulky arm was around his shoulders, apparently meaning to comfort him, "you'll beat him next time."

"I don’t feel bad about it." Loki insisted but the air between Thor's ears was not receptive tonight.

"Happens to the best of us." Thor rambled on, which was precious coming from someone who hadn't lost a single race in the last two years.

"Yes," Loki agreed, desperately trying to shrug off Thor's arm before it crushed him, "obviously. Can you please let g-"

They stopped their banter in order to stare at the new guy who was positively gleaming with overconfidence. "So you're the Odinson brothers. I have to admit I'm a bit disappointed. I expected a challenge."

Loki could feel Thor's grip on his shoulder tightening. The kid just wanted to rattle their cage but somewhere along the line Thor had gotten a bit too much mother hen DNA into his system and hence he did not take kindly to people openly insulting his little brother.

"You got lucky." Thor growled and the surrounding spectators collectively held their breaths. "Don't push it."

Loki rolled his eyes. He knew where this was going.

"You know what?" The newbie's chest swelled - possibly in an attempt to appear bigger but in Thor’s presence that was hard to accomplish, "I think I've got just about enough luck left to beat you."

"Beat me?" Thor's laugh thundered over the parking lot like an EMP. Meanwhile, Loki wondered if the kid had any relatives they needed to call when Thor was done with him.

The boy spread his arms and turned towards the crowd who eyed him with a mixture of awe and the air of a mob waiting for some street theatre, "How about I take down _both_ brothers in one night, huh? You wanna see that?"

There was some clapping and a few whistles which died down almost immediately when Thor glared at the lot. Loki decidedly did not grin. He couldn't deny that it was somewhat entertaining to watch a person walk into the lion's den armed with nothing but a toothpick. Some might have called it malicious glee. Loki called it cherishing the little things in life.

Thor finally let go of his shoulder and stepped up to the kid, towering over him like a mountain, "You, my friend, had better be prepared to apologize."

While Loki massaged some feeling back into his joints the wannabe lion tamer poked at Thor's chest - which Loki knew was a bit like breaking your finger on a block of concrete, "I'll be accepting yours afterwards."

Then he stalked off to his flea circus vehicle.

"I will crush this bastard," Thor assured Loki. Unnecessarily so because if there was one thing that was certain in this universe it was that Thor won. Always.

Loki almost felt bad for the kid.

\---

Fifteen minutes later the kid slouched over to Thor and handed him his winnings.

"You forgot something." Thor pointed at Loki who had taken perch upon his own car, enjoying the view of a plan panning out, "Apology. Now."

"Why should I apologize to hi-"

Loki was not a fan of physical enforcements but when one Thor grabbed you by the collar and hauled you around you just fucking _apologized_.

The kid hung his head, half-dangling from Thor's outstretched arm, "I'm very sorry."

Thor shot him an inquiring look and Loki shrugged. As annoying as Thor sometimes was, being his brother did have its perks. If you were the only person he at least occasionally listened to people tended to tread carefully around you.

"Tell you what," Loki suggested once the boy had solid ground back under his feet, "I'll give you back your money if you race me again. Give me a chance to redeem myself."

Loki could see the wheels inside the newbie's head whirring away. He had already beaten Loki once so how hard could it be to do it again? Two wins, one loss? That wasn't too shabby an outcome for one night - especially, if you beat one of the Odinson brothers. Twice.

It was a tempting thought and Loki admired the human mind for its talent for self-deception.

"I get my fifteen-hundred back no matter if I win or lose?"

Loki nodded while Thor seemed to be mostly confused, "Loki, what are you doing?"

"Offering an honorable way out of this. I thought you'd appreciate it."

Thor's expression said _'I don’t know. Do I?'_ but his mouth said, "Are you sure about this?"

"Positive." Loki hopped off the car and offered to shake on it with the kid, "No need for bad blood."

The scrawny dude who was obviously the brains of the operation tugged at his friend's sleeve, whispering something that was possibly common sense. But peer pressure was a wonderful thing. If you had deliberately made yourself the centre of attention it was quite difficult to slink off without losing face. And for a street racer refusing a challenge was equal to totaling your entire reputation.

"Deal." The newcomer whose name Loki would probably never learn took his hand and the crowd cheered.

\---

Money was travelling between hands faster than at the stock exchange and Loki smiled as he let the Mustang roll into position at the starting line.

"Hey," Thor suddenly stuck his head in through the open window, "do me a favor and don't lose, okay?"

"Thor," Loki grumbled, "would you please mind your own business?"

"It's _our_ business, brother."

"Please step away from the car or I shall see myself forced to run you over."

Thor grinned, "You wouldn't dare."

He stopped grinning when Loki let the car roll back and almost over his toes.

"You are _evil_."

Loki heard this about five times a day so he wasn't overly fazed by it. People used the word 'evil' far too freely these days. He was just incredibly good at giving people the opportunity to learn from their mistakes.

He was practically a Samaritan.

"Take care of yourself." Thor had an inexplicable talent for looking like a concerned Saint Bernard, "The third turn is a bit slippery and you may want to-"

Loki shoved his brother's face out of the way, "I will be fine, brother. Thank you."

He rolled up the window too, just to be safe. The last thing he saw before the countdown began was an enthusiastic thumbs-up courtesy of Thor.

\---

Loki sat on the hood of the Mustang, wetting his fingertips to shuffle through a bundle of dollar bills.

"You lost on purpose that first time, didn't you?" Thor stood there with his arms crossed over his chest and tried to look scolding. It was not very effective since Loki had just made them a bit over four-thousand dollars, partially by betting against himself. He kept it to himself though because Thor had a very firm grip on the idea of _pride_. He had pretty much invented it. 

"No," Loki conceded, "I strategically came in second."

"That's the same thing." The car wobbled when Thor sat down beside him.

"No, it's a lot more-"

"Evil?"

"-sophisticated. Seriously, you need to stop calling me evil. I may take offense in that one of these days," Loki lied because the only thing that bothered him was the fact that Thor was incapable of thinking of synonyms. He was going to have to buy Thor a thesaurus for his next birthday.

Thor delivered a good-natured slap to Loki's back that almost sent him toppling off the hood, "You've always been like that. It's okay with us, you know, but strangers might not be so understanding."

Loki glanced over to Pinky and Brain whom he had successfully rid of their savings. They seemed to be very busy drawing as little attention to themselves as possible.

"Somehow I fail to share your concern, brother." Loki concluded.

"This is the kind of thing that will get you into trouble." Thor heaved a sigh that was dramatic simply due to the fact that it could have blown a small boat out of the water, "And you even dragged _me_ into it too."

Now this he did take offense in. He never dragged anybody anywhere, least of all his brother. Mainly because Thor weighed about a ton but that was beside the point. He _did not_ force people to do anything. He just waited for them to do it of their own accord.

"Oh please," Loki huffed, "you would have beaten him anyway. And you enjoyed it. Don't lie. I can tell."

He stabbed a finger at Thor's bicep, which in retrospect was never a good idea since it was like scrabbling at a tree trunk.

The man himself looked utterly serious for a moment before he broke into one of those just-shitting-you grins that made Loki wonder which one of them was in fact the evil one. He pulled Loki into a bear hug, "Okay, maybe I did. A little. But even so you could have let me in on your plan."

Loki had long ago learned that once Thor was in a hugging mode there was no way out. It was like an earthquake - all you could do was hold on and let it happen. After the first dozen times Loki had, to his shame, discovered that it wasn't entirely unpleasant. Little had he known that there would be a lot more shamefully enjoyable situations waiting for him.

"Thor," Loki patted Thor's shoulder once the hug attack was over, "I am telling you this as a brother who loves you more dearly than anyone can even imagine, so don't take this the wrong way but... you're a shitty actor. That's why I never tell you."

"You never even give me a chance!"

"I did. Several times, actually. Would you like me to list it in chronological order or in terms of devastating failure?"

"The one with the dog was not my fault," Thor protested, "anyone could have missed that pizza guy."

Loki shuddered. There was a general agreement never to mention dogs and pizza in the same sentence ever again. It was a touchy subject for all parties involved although Loki figured the dog hadn't minded too much.

"I rest my case." Loki pocketed the roll of miscellaneous bills and meant to say something else but didn't on account of all hell breaking loose.

The street racing community had a very well thought out early warning system. If it were adaptable to weather forecasting Loki assumed natural disasters wouldn’t be an issue anymore. Basically, it consisted of three components: Several scouts, various police radio scanners, and Heimdall.

How Heimdall always knew what the cops were up to was a mystery but seeing as how he also seemed to know where everyone lived, if they had their wisdom teeth removed, and how much in taxes they had evaded last year, it was probably best not to ask. In short, he was a walking, talking Google Map with a police tracker app.

And he had a Dolby Surround Sound voice.

Naturally, when Heimdall yelled _'Cops!'_ in his unmistakable timbre the entire attendant crowd zipped up their bags, grabbed their girlfriends (in Fandral's case someone else's) and got the hell out of Dodge.

"See you at home, little brother!" Thor sprinted over to his car, then seemed to remember something, came jogging back, and planted a sloppy kiss on Loki's forehead. In the flurry nobody noticed and even if they had - this was _Thor_. Only suicidal mental patients started discussions on sexuality and appropriate bed partners with him.

"Try not to drive through Mrs Fortmeier's garden again," Loki shouted at his brother's retreating back, "you know how prissy she gets about her Begonias."

The only thing that indicated Thor had even heard him was a hand waving out of the driver's side window as the Camaro spun around to head down the nearest alley.

Loki waited another half a minute before reversing his Mustang and speeding off into a different direction. He had places to be, people to see, things to steal.


	3. Sticky Fingers

So, maybe the police raid was not a coincidence. Maybe they had gotten an anonymous tip and a vague description of the general area.

And maybe Loki was in possession of a burn phone with the precinct’s number on speed dial.

_Maybe._

He might also have tossed said hypothetical phone into a nearby dumpster but unless somebody shoved the evidence in his face his lips would remain sealed.

He left the Mustang at a parking garage under construction and switched to a nondescript black Ford Focus RS. While the Mustang was not as flashy as Thor's stupid Camaro it was still easily distinguishable with its black and green finish. Hogun had outdone himself with this one but even the cops were bound to remember it.

And for what Loki was planning stealth was of utmost importance. That, and agility.

\---

Loki had a problem. This problem was in no small part related to Thor.

It wasn't that Loki disliked Thor in every sense of the word because he didn't. He had multiple hickeys that proved all assumptions thereof wrong. It was more the idea of what Thor _represented_ that Loki couldn't stand. This was how it was possible to like Thor on a personal level and despise him on every other. Like medicine - you might detest it but it was still good for you.

Thor also had one advantage over Loki and that was not, as widely believed, his impressive stature. No, the real problem was that Thor was the only biological son of the late Odinson senior who had not only been a gifted mechanic but had also been proud owner of Asgard Motors. To call it an empire was an exaggeration but it comprised several auto tuning shops, the biggest of which was their headquarters and the place where Thor and Loki spent most of their time when they were not out racing or keeping their friends out of jail.

Those who knew about Loki’s adoption said his story was remarkable. And Loki would have agreed if he weren’t the one living it.

According to legend old man Odinson had once found a baby on the backseat of an abandoned car. And because Frigga Odinson was a full-blooded mother with every fiber of her being she had refused to let her husband take the baby anywhere but their home.

And that was that. Numerous audiences with the local authorities later Loki had been given a name and a loving family and everything a kid could dream of.

Except, somehow he had been overlooked in everything else. This ranged from quarrels over what was for dinner all the way to life-altering issues such as old man Odinson’s will. Thor had been proclaimed owner of Asgard Motors which, in Loki's opinion, was the best way to ruin a perfectly good enterprise.

Thor had the economic proficiency of a patch of moss and had barely calculated his way out of 3rd grade while Loki had _a vision_. But he couldn't bring it to fruition with being stuck as Thor’s managing... whatever the denomination of his position was.

At least Thor couldn't fire him because that much the old man had taken care of in his will. Loki was to have a permanent, life-long position in their company which was worth shit if said company went out of business.

Strangely enough, it hadn't yet so there was still time. The whole street racing thing kind of ran in the family; they had just taken it up a notch and at one point or another had realized that it was pretty good advertising. Street racing might have been illegal - but buying a new set of wheels every two weeks was not.

The fact remained that Loki's hands were bound and explaining his business strategies to Thor was not worth the headache. But if Loki managed to put together enough money to buy Thor out he would be able to move this thing along.

Sadly, street racing was also a relatively uncertain income - with the added downside of potential jail time. And his regular paycheck was a joke. Although he highly suspected that Thor just kept calculating it wrong. As a result, Loki had turned to more _inventive_ ways of gathering money - by executing high-speed heists and selling the goods to whoever paid the most.

He was extremely careful; he never worked with the same crew twice, never used the same cars, and never _ever_ mentioned his real name. It wasn't easy but with the help of distractions like, say, a sudden police raid he was able to sneak off, do his thing, and be back at the house before anyone was the wiser.

He also happened to be quite successful. By now he didn't even have to look for jobs anymore. They were _offered_ to him. Sometimes even with a lot of begging and baiting, which Loki would have been lying if he said he didn't encourage.

Which brought him to where he was right now: A set of hills just outside of town with six random crooks in three cars, waiting for a very specific truck to round a very specific corner.

The headlights bathed the trees in an eerie light as the truck approached, going way beyond the speed limit by the sound of it. It droned past them, the driver seemingly oblivious to their presence.

"Well, gentlemen," Loki adjusted the cap so that it hid most of his face from curious onlookers and smiled, "let's do this."

\---

A regular walk in the park. The only tricky thing had been driving backwards up a hill at 60 mph with a person clinging to the hood. But since his skills as a driver even outmatched his skills as a con artist this was more of an added bonus than a problem.

Loki did not ask what kind of goods they were stealing, as long as they were not toxic (that required special treatment and thus more money which Loki liked to demand up front) or explosive (same difference, only with the potential of leaving a nice little crater in the road). Hence they rolled the blank crates into the storage facility of one Walter Lawson who happened to have a stunning resemblance to Loki.

Once that was taken care of Loki got the word out to his buyer and waited for the confirmation that the agreed amount had been transferred to his account.

Bad deeds, done well.

Loki was in an exceptionally good mood when he parked the Mustang in the driveway of their house. Well, _house_ was probably the wrong term. _Party Asylum_ was more like it.

The old man had left them this house with the intention of providing at least one of them with a place to settle down; have a wife and kids and all that jazz. What he obviously hadn't accounted for was Thor's remarkable ability to make friends.

This was how 'The Warriors Three' - named so due to their tendency to leave everything in a state of 'deserted battlefield' - and their leading lady, Sif, had wandered into their lives. And they had simply never left.

Loki had had his doubts but after discovering Volstagg asleep in the first floor bathtub for the third time he had stopped arguing. It was easier to just accept that he had become part of a patchwork family of rampant lunatics.

Somehow, they had also wormed their way into Asgard Motors and were now fully employed as mechanics, custom car painters, and sales personnel since Fandral seemed to be able to sell anything to anyone. They were not sure what Sif did but they paid her anyway because if they didn't she got angry and they valued their lives.

So, basically, they were around 24/7 and after a while you either got used to it or you went insane. Hence Loki simply frowned at the front door as it vibrated in its hinges.

See, the thing with friends was that they too had friends and Loki had found out that they liked to bring around _each and every one of them_ at every possible occasion.

"Lokiiiiii!" A collective cry of joy rebounded off the walls and possibly rendered a few squirrels deaf. They had already taken care of Mrs Fortmeier's cat like that. Poor thing was deaf as a rock by now.

"I see you've started the party without me." Loki snorted and tossed his car keys into the bowl next to the door that already contained about a dozen others, "How considerate."

"Oh come on, brother." Thor's baritone echoed through the living room as he welcomed Loki with a vaguely intoxicated smile, "Don't be like that. We saved you some of your favorite."

He was very proud to present Loki with a bucket full of Tequila bottles. To Loki's surprise they were all still more or less full.

And if Loki drank Tequila he would have been delighted but alas he wasn't.

"Thor, I hate Tequila." Loki grumbled but let himself get dragged along anyway, "You know I throw up."

Thor leaned in and winked - a clear sign that he was approaching the flirtatious level of his drunkenness, "That's why we also picked up this."

An untouched bottle of Jägermeister was put in front of Loki. He hated Jägermeister too.

"I am going to regret this, aren't I?" He asked as he watched Volstagg pour him - and most of the carpet - a shot of Tequila.

"Don't forget the house motto, brother." Thor lectured, holding up his beer while everyone cheered.

"And which one of them would that be?"

Last time Loki had counted they had had twenty-seven house mottos, not few of them consisting of nothing but vowels and references to where one was not supposed to 'stick one’s exhaust pipes'.

Thor's brow wrinkled in thought for a moment before he brightened up and toasted him, "The one about not being a party pooper."

Loki silently corrected his count to twenty-eight and accepted his fate. He was in a good mood and when all was said and done he _did_ have something to celebrate.

The first two shots of Tequila were god-awful. After the seventh they were still horrible but Loki couldn't feel his face anymore so he figured it was alright.


	4. Return On Investment

Something heavy and snoring rolled on top of Loki when he woke up. He had the sinking feeling that it was drooling on him too.

Upon closer inspection it proved to be Thor who was mumbling against the bare skin of his shoulder. Loki sighed. For someone of Thor's durability he made a relatively ridiculous impression the morning after. His blond mane was in disarray and for some reason there was glitter in it. Loki did not even attempt to make sense of that - he just hoped it hadn't gotten anywhere else.

This whole sexual attraction thing had been a problem at first. Well, admittedly, it was still a problem, albeit one that could be solved with simple means.

When they were teenagers they had put it down to rampaging hormones. As they got older and the attraction persisted Loki had decided to take matters into his own hands. He had always had a somewhat loose understanding of morality and, as much as Thor liked to deny it, he did rub off on his brother.

The first time had been a chaotic, somewhat confusing event. Thor was a gallant gentleman when he needed to be. The thing was, since Loki was clearly a man Thor's brain signaled him that it was okay to be a douche. Which was fine because tit for tat was one of Loki’s favorite games.

It took a while before they realized that this was not going to go away by yelling at it. The result was a more or less stable peace treaty based on scathing remarks, blissful ignorance, and sex. It was a push and pull kind of thing - and Loki was surprised to find that he had a lot more pull than he had anticipated.

Naturally, everyone in the house knew. It was kind of hard to miss when Thor shouldered Loki in the middle of the party and announced that he was going to go ravage him upstairs now. It was funny - the first time. Then it had begun to sink that Thor was not joking.

A few years later the infamous elephant in the room had shrunk to something like a peculiarly colored lizard and was generally ignored by most of their acquaintances.

Whenever the issue did come up Loki shrugged and informed whoever was asking, "If I cared about other people's love lives as much as you do, I would have to spend my days locked up in my room trying to rinse my brain out with bleach. Do you see me do that? Right. Then I suggest you follow my example."

And because his smile tended to take on a murderous edge when he said it people refrained from bringing it up again.

Besides, Thor emanated a sense of security that was hard to find these days. It didn't necessarily stabilize a business but it sure as hell stabilized Loki. As much as Loki sometimes wanted to strangle his brother for being the stupid, self-centered, gigantic oaf that he was, he was _Loki's_ stupid, self-centered, gigantic oaf. And he was pretty sure Thor thought of him in a similar way. Only in shorter words, possibly.

All in all, it had never been a particularly good idea but it had been better than the alternative and that was nothing. So they stuck with it.

Which meant waking up with an additional hangover draped over his back every once in a while.

Loki wriggled out from under his brother and swayed into a sitting position yet immediately regretted it when some sort of devilish dwarf inside his head started stabbing his brain with a pitchfork. He groaned and cursed all Tequila-producing countries.

A cell phone beeped. Geographic orientation was tricky but Loki identified the ringtone as his and grabbled for it on the nightstand. After the third failed attempt to get the PIN code right and half an hour of searching for the secondary PIN Loki finally unlocked the text message.

_Transfer complete._

Loki grinned and erased the message.

"What's up?" Thor mumbled, "What's so funny?"

"Nothing." Loki half-turned and marveled at the sight of a sleepy Thor who was covered in nothing but air from his hips up. It was almost as nice a thing to wake up to as the heads-up that he was 50,000 dollars richer (fine, minus the cut for his helpers). "I think I found a buyer for the Charger."

It was a better lie than most since there was a grain of truth in it. The car was real enough.

"What?" Thor scrambled up, blinking at him, "Father's Charger?"

The bloody idiot called him _'father'_. Not 'dad' or 'old man' or any other commonly used nickname for a parent. And that told you all you needed to know about how much of a daddy's boy Thor really was.

Meanwhile, Loki busied himself with locating his clothes - if only to dispose of them in the laundry basket, "I wasn't aware we had another?"

"No, we don't but..."

Loki heaved a sigh and shot his brother a glance over his shoulder, "You said you wanted to sell it."

Thor scratched his head which conjured up the image of a confused lion, "I know, I just-... I didn't mean _right away_."

"How long do you want to wait? Until the undercarriage grows legs and walks out on its own?" Loki snorted and dropped the shirt he'd rescued from the floor into the basket on account of it being Thor's. He would never wear plaid.

"No, of course not." Hungover Thor was even less susceptive to Loki's sarcasm than regular Thor, "I just-... you know I wanted to fix it."

Loki paused his search for clothes and plopped down on the bed, leaning into Thor's personal space, "You haven't done anything on it for the last year and a half, Thor. It's time to get rid of it."

Plus, Loki was sick of watching it rust away in their backyard.

Thor was a hopeless sap in the morning and so he smiled and tucked a couple of stray strands behind Loki's ear despite Loki's disapproving glance, "Maybe you're right. Someone else might have better luck with it."

Luck had little to do with it. It was merely the fact that everything old man Odin had touched was somehow holy and Thor was reluctant to change anything about it. Loki had no such qualms.

"Where are you going?" Thor asked when Loki only gave a nod and continued wrestling into his clothes.

"Meeting a friend." Loki said because for all he knew it could be true.

Thor glanced at the alarm clock on the bedside table, "At eight in the morning?"

Loki paused, "He's an early bird."

"You have friends that are up before lunch?" Thor's grin was that of a man who thought he was being funny. He wasn't.

"Yes," Loki replied, planting his knee between Thor's thighs, "because they did not spend last night singing odes to beer."

"I sang?"

"You tried to," Loki winked and brushed his lips against Thor's brow before he caught his brother’s stubbly jaw in one hand and looked him straight in the eyes, "and if you ever make me drink Tequila again, I swear by the old man's grave that I will end you."

Thor had the decency not to laugh. He clearly wanted to though, "You say that every time, brother."

"And I mean it every time."

He slapped Thor over the head for emphasis and slid off the bed, "Gotta run now. You-" He waved a hand uncertainly while scanning the room for his jacket, "-try not to break anything, okay?"

He was out of the door by the time the pillow hit the wall.

\---

Pick up was an uncomplicated matter. Loki texted his buyer the location of the warehouse and a few hours later a truck - or a car, depending on size and weight of the goods in question - showed up and transported everything off to wherever they were needed.

Loki still liked to watch. He took pictures too.

His pocket jingled and Loki almost expected it to be one of Thor's ridiculous text messages that mostly revolved around what had been stuck where last night and merely served to piss Loki off. But it wasn’t even his personal phone.

_New job. Interested?_

Loki drummed his fingers on his thigh, eyeing the buzz of activity in front of the warehouse. This was going faster than usual. Normally, a couple of days passed between one gig and an offer for another.

But a new job meant more money which in turn meant getting closer to his goal. So, Loki texted back.

What's the job?

_Metallic container. 11x6x8 inches. Transportable in single car._

Loki stroked his thumb over his bottom lip in contemplation. Sounded like an easy task. Although, that was the first time he'd been asked to acquire something so small.

Pay?

_1 mil_

Loki stared at the screen. It had been odd before but now it was downright _alarming_. Whatever this thing was it was clearly worth a fortune.

Too good to be true. What's the catch?

This time the reply took a while. The crew was almost done loading the goods onto the plain black truck when Loki's phone beeped once more.

_1 time only chance. Item will be on the road on Wed 31st Oct. High security. Route enclosed._

And indeed, there was an image attached. Loki frowned as the pixel rows unfolded on his screen. Then he outright gaped at it because what he was looking at was nothing short of the makings of a turf war.

A thick red line marked the route of the convoy. And it went straight through Frost Giant territory.

\---

The Frost Giants - or 'Frosties' as Loki called them whenever none of them was within earshot - were not a gang. They were more of a _tribe_ , really. A vicious, cold-blooded, hellish tribe that Loki was pretty sure was not beyond human sacrifices and Voodoo-esque practices. They were also the only ones who had ever dared to truly oppose Odin.

Clearly, the Frost Giants were not to be trifled with. The old man had told them a couple of stories about this rival gang and their infamous leader. He went by the name of Laufey and was apparently immortal because the old man had sworn he had hit him with the Charger _twice_.

On the few occasions that Loki had had the questionable pleasure of coming face to face with a Frost Giant he had formed several conclusions: One, a Frosty never hesitated. They were the kind of people who kept tallies on how many dogs, cats, old ladies, cyclists, and occasional police officers they had run over. People believed these tallies were jokes but Loki knew the numbers were accurate.

Two, the Frosties hated the Odinsons with a burning passion. It was a mutual feeling. Cultivating angry enemies was something of an Odinson family tradition.

Three, Frost Giant cars were possibly tamed Decepticons. They certainly looked the part. Loki wouldn't have been surprised if he had discovered that the seats were made of the skin of their opponents.

He shuddered at the thought. Loki was by no means the nicest person on the planet but compared to the Frost Giants he was barely more than the obnoxious co-worker who made rude jokes at Christmas parties.

And now this mysterious buyer wanted Loki to drive through enemy territory and steal an item of unknown origin and nature. This was a recipe for disaster.

Sadly, Loki had a special talent for turning disaster into profit. And that talent manifested in an idea.

The way he saw it, if this heist worked out he was roughly one million dollars richer and could finally embark on his mission to show Thor how a modern business was supposed to be run. If it should in any way go awry the Frost Giants would probably blame Thor and demand bloody retribution. Not that Loki wanted to get anyone killed. Gods, no. He was a mischievous little schemer not a cold-hearted killer. No, what Loki really wanted was to push Thor off his high horse, even if it was just for a while.

Despite everything Loki was kind of attached to his brother - like you were attached to a big, drooling bulldog that chewed on every single one of your shoes and salivated all over your new leather couch. Sure, it enraged you but it also entertained you to no end and you wouldn't want to miss it for the world.

But so far, Laufey had been the only one who had ever exhibited enough will and prowess to beat Thor - on and off the race track.

Loki was beginning to like the idea. He fished out his phone and texted back.

Consider it done. 10% up front. The usual account #. You wouldn't happen to need a '68 Charger, would you?

The reply came when Loki parked the Mustang outside their house. It also featured a text file of specifics for the job.

_Agreed._

Loki did wonder if that referred to the Charger too.


	5. New Faces In Unfamiliar Places

The weeks around Día de los Muertos had always been Loki's favorite time of the year. Frigga used to be concerned about his fascination with death and freakishly decorated skulls but she stopped after Loki had finger-painted the garage with flowers and skeletons when he was ten. He never told her that Thor had done two of the walls.

The trend continued as he grew older. Especially once Loki had grown tall enough to peek over the steering wheel. He remembered sitting in the old man's lap in the driver's seat and ogling all the Latino drivers' pretty cars, dressed up for the occasion with fresh paint and designs so colorful Loki had to squint at them.

Yes, this was definitely his favorite season. It easily beat Christmas.

Race nights during that time were like an amplified version of the regular events. Everything was ten times brighter and faster and giddier and a little bit more macabre than usual.

Loki lounged on the hood of his car, his back resting against the windshield and smiled at the brightly colored cars parading past. He was not planning on racing tonight so that gave him plenty of opportunity to enjoy the racing community's way of celebrating death. There were considerably more people than normal, many of them arriving in equally decorated vans.

"Wow, so you do enjoy other things besides robbing people of their money."

Loki turned his head to find the blond kid from the other day approaching through the line of parked cars. Funny, he hadn't noticed the orange stroller anywhere.

"Look who's back." Loki offered a sickeningly sweet smile as the boy sat down on the car next to Loki’s Mustang, "I didn't think I'd see you again. Are you here to give it another go?"

The blond held up his hands in defense, "God, no. Once is quite enough, thanks. I learn from my mistakes."

"Good for you." Loki returned his attention to the busy blur of the parking lot. The far side of it was lined with vans that had dropped off groups of fans and followers. One of the cars was a rusty blue Volkswagen with pirate skull stickers.

"I'm Alex, by the way."

A hand was extended in greeting and Loki appreciated the kid's correct assumption that Loki had never bothered to remember his name.

"Loki." He said as he reached over to shake it.

"I know."

"What's with the tone?" Loki leered, "Makes me think you don't like me."

"Well, I don't."

Loki laughed and casually slid off the hood of his car to stand, hands in his pockets, "Good."

Alex's eyebrows shot up into his hairline, "Good? What's good about that?"

"Means you're not quite as stupid as you look." He winked and bowed theatrically before making his way across the parking lot.

The races were in full progress. Drivers were yelling obscenities at each other - not necessarily in the same language - ladies in scarce clothing were kissing miscellaneous champions for good luck, and Thor was flirting with a girl.

Flirting, in Thor's understanding, meant that he rambled about his conquests in the racing world and grinned a lot. Loki suspected it spoke to the same side in women that adored little puppies and chocolate.

Thor was... well, he was _Thor_. He was big and bulky and obnoxious and loud and couldn't sing to save his life. In addition, Loki knew first hand that Thor wasn't just _in the closet_ \- he _was_ the closet. And Loki had put his damned clothes all over that (mostly with him still in them) and he was not going to let some random girl do the same.

That was _his_ closet, end of story.

"Hi." He interrupted right when Thor was trying to subtly work his arm around her back.

"Brother!" Thor exclaimed, a little too excited for Loki's taste. He gestured to the petite brunette freezing her ass off next to him, "Jane, this is my little brother, Loki. Loki? Jane."

"Hello." Loki took pride in inventing the coldest greeting in the history of mankind at that exact moment.

"Hi, nice to meet you." She gave a quick wave of her hand before tucking it back underneath her leather jacket which looked like it had been made from a single guinea pig. No wonder she was cold. A bathing suit model wore more clothes than she did.

"Thor, can I talk to you for a minute, please?" Loki tugged at Thor's shirt.

Thor's brow furrowed in confusion but he politely excused himself and followed Loki.

"You do realize that she's a reporter, don't you?"

"Who? Jane?"

Loki rolled his eyes, "No, the other girl you were flirting with just a minute ago. Yes, _Jane_."

He put as much repulsion as possible into the mention of her name. It was a matter of principle. _His_ closet, period.

Thor glanced back over his shoulder, "How do you know?"

"I had Balder go through her purse." Loki said with a nonchalant shrug.

Thor's shocked expression was priceless, "You did _what_?"

"Relax," Loki chuckled and gestured at the row of cars at the far end of the parking lot, "I didn't even need to. See the blue van parked over there? She arrived in it."

"So?" Thor peered into the semi-dark at the side of the street. Sometimes Loki wondered who had inherited the brains when all Thor had gotten was the brawns.

"Well, I sure hope she cracked a window because there seem to be people inside. She's either a very negligent friend, a reporter, or FBI. In case of the latter I am very disappointed at the Bureau's undercover training."

"I'm not following."

 _Of course you aren’t_ , Loki thought and resisted the urge to pat Thor on the head and send him on his way.

Instead he nodded in the direction of the van, "Somehow I don't remember _pirates_ being part of the Día de los Muertos lore. Plus, I can see the camera lens even from all the way over here."

"But why would she-," Thor's view of the world was a very material one and had no place for deception in it. But that was what he had Loki for. Loki was a regular commuter from deception land.

"I guess, she is looking for a story."

Thor gave a rumbly laugh at that, "About us? Are we really that interesting?"

If she found out about Loki's extra-curricular activities? Hell yes, they were.

"You tell me," Loki replied testily, "we are participating in illegal street races while our business is supposedly legitimate. Would _you_ find that interesting?"

Thor threw Jane a longing glance. "What do you suggest I do?"

"Get rid of her." Loki said firmly.

"Get rid of h-," Thor's eyes went wide moments before he set his jaw and crossed his arms in front of his massive chest. He looked like a wall with arms, "No."

The amount of bullshit Loki was able to take from his brother was phenomenal but even his patience had limits.

"Alright, brother." Loki stepped up to Thor so that their noses were almost touching. They were roughly the same height so he was one of the few people who were actually able do that, "I'm going to phrase it as simplistically as I can so even _you_ will understand it. She is _lying to you_."

To Loki's immense bewilderment Thor just smiled and shrugged, "So are you. Most of the time."  
"I never lied about what I am." Loki hissed because otherwise he would have been shouting. And his plan couldn't handle any more unwanted attention.

"Lying is still lying." Thor replied and that did it. That, right there, was Thor's view of the world. There was right and there was wrong, black and white, and there was Thor and everyone else because for some bizarre reason he expected everyone else to be wrong by default. Loki couldn't for the life of him figure out why he always ended up somewhere outside of that world view. Like he was an extra planet that needed to be watched carefully and kept apart from all the others.

"Is it?" Loki growled, which he didn't do often but this situation called for verbal enforcements, "Then tell me, brother, how can you hold it against me and dismiss it with her? Do me a favour and apply the same standards to everyone before you talk to me about lying."

"Loki, I-"

“Get. Rid. Of her." Loki turned on his heel and stalked off into the night. He heard his brother call out his name but nothing short of a meteor collision would have stopped him.

\---

"Are you sure you're okay? You look a bit... troubled."

In Loki's opinion passengers should just shut their mouths and be quiet. This one was determined to prove him right.

He looked at the masked man and presented him with his iciest smile, "My emotional state is none of your concern. Now shut up and do your job."

"Okay, okay, chill." The man started pulling at the ski mask until he didn't resemble a Picasso painting anymore, "Geez. I was just trying to make sure your head's in the game. Not planning on getting killed tonight, you know."

"Are you saying I can't make use of the switchblade I have in my boot?" Loki faked a pout.

"You keep a switchblade in your boot?" The only visible portion of the man's face were his eyes and his lips - both seemed to agree that now was a good time to be frightened.

"You'll find out if you don't stop talking." Loki grinned and if there was a maniacal edge to it he really couldn't be blamed. This night was not going according to plan so far.

Not only had hurricane _Jane_ struck earlier but now he was confined in a car with a talkative goon who worried about Loki's _feelings_ while they were waiting for a convoy that was fifteen minutes late.

Not to mention that he did indeed have a blade and was contemplating stabbing _something_ with it.

"Fine," the man threw his hands up in defeat and pointedly stared out of the window, "have it your way."

Loki sighed and it sounded like everything that went wrong in this world compressed into a single sound. Like accidentally hitting your thumb instead of the nail or missing the last bus by half a minute. Being the only functional being in the universe was not easy.

Minutes passed in which Loki willed the convoy of cars to pop up in his rear view mirror. Eventually, it did.

"They're here," Loki said with a nod towards the corner behind them. He let cars pass and carefully reversed out of the parking space, signaling his passenger to radio the others.

Time to go hunting.


	6. Black Box

It was beautiful. Loki was almost sad that nobody was there to witness this picture-perfect execution of a flawless plan.

They had successfully removed, blocked (and in one case: crashed) the security detail and had chased the target vehicle into a dead end where its occupants saw themselves outnumbered and outgunned.

Loki didn't carry a weapon - besides the occasional blade when he was feeling particularly unhappy - because he didn't need to. There was barely a problem that couldn't be solved with some carefully chosen words and the ability to read people like the label on a package of pop tarts.

However, having six crooks with semi-automatics at his command did not hurt. The driver and his colleague had given up eventually and ended up handcuffed to the nearest lamp post. Loki and his crew took the car and brought it to tonight’s hide-out of choice - an abandoned garage on the outskirts of town.

All of this lifted Loki’s spirits considerably.

"Well done, gentlemen." Loki complimented as the others were already breaking out the beer. He reached for the lever that opened the trunk and it popped open with a muffled _clonk_.

"Hm." Loki didn't know what else to say. He peered inside and it was exactly what the client had promised - a small metallic box. And yet there was something extremely unsettling about it.

"Something wrong, boss?" One of the men asked when Loki refused to partake in the celebrations. He had started calling Loki 'Boss' at some point and it was hard to get him to stop. Besides, Loki kind of liked it.

Loki leaned his arms on the edge of the trunk and carefully lifted the box to take a closer look. Something was off, something big, something-

"Oh damn." The famous Stark Industries logo was embossed on the lock.

Loki would have liked to spend more time pondering this turn of events but as it happened a team of brutes descended upon them like ants on a piece of sugar.

\---

Loki was not a fan of firearms. Especially when he was facing down the barrel of one.

"The box." Masked Intruder #1 said with a small wave of his hand. He seemed to be their leader, "Please."

All of Loki's men had been disarmed and were struggling against various forms of death grips. He should have been worried but the beauty of working with sleazy crooks was that it never took long for them to _re_ arm themselves.

"Alright," Loki placated and carefully moved forward to place the box on the floor between them, "no shooting. The cleaning lady won't come until next Monday."

The chief intruder laughed, "You're funny."

"I try." Loki said with a smirk. Then he snatched the knife from his boot and buried it in the guy's gut.

\---

Stark Industries was well known in the street racing community. More parts than anyone dared to even think about bore its unmistakable sigil. Or any of its innumerable wholly-owned companies’, for that matter.

That as such was not troubling, but Stark products which were transported in nondescript containers in secretive car convoys through sketchy parts of town were either prone to explode or served to _make_ something explode. And chances were that only a select group of people were supposed to know about them.

Loki doubted that he was meant to be one of them.

He pulled up in front of the house but didn't get out of the car. First of all, because everything fucking _hurt_.

The knife trick had worked but getting caught in the middle of a fist fight with several dozen, heavily armed gangsters was still not a pleasant experience. These kinds of things were Thor's specialty but since his brother hadn't been around Loki had been forced to take care of it.

He had gotten out of there alive. He couldn’t say the same for most of the men though. Friend or foe had ceased to be an issue at some point. And his car wasn’t any better off either.

The Mustang was almost as mangled as its owner. The rear bumper had been completely ripped off in the wild car chase across town, both sides were dented and scratched, and the bullet holes in Loki's backlight contributed to the overall impression of a narrow escape.

And in addition, the box was gone as well. One of the intruders had taken it but Loki had been a little too busy to intervene.

The cell phone in his pocket beeped angrily for the second time since he'd lost his pursuers. He groaned as he fumbled for it and even more so when he read the message.

_Where is the package?_

Loki didn't bother with an answer and simply flung the phone onto the passenger seat. He had enough problems as it was. He could deal with this one when his face had stopped hurting.

As if on cue the light on the porch flickered on and Thor stalked out onto the lawn. The determined way in which he walked suggested unpleasantness in Loki’s immediate future.

"Brother, where the hell-," Thor hesitated. Loki couldn’t see Thor’s face against the light from the house but he imagined that it softened when his brother stepped closer and peered through the shattered driver's side window.

"Brother? What happened?"

Loki turned to look at his brother and winced. He was hurting in places he hadn't even known existed.

"Loki?" Thor tried again, this time leaning heavily onto the door frame, "Would you please say something? Talk to me, damn it. Are you okay?"

He gingerly touched Loki's head and miraculously found the one spot where it didn't actually hurt. Loki wished Thor were this dead-on with everything.

"I'm going to go ahead and assume that was a rhetorical question." Loki wriggled around in his seat and pushed against the door. It was lodged firmly into the rest of the frame and wouldn't budge until Thor lent a helping hand. Stupid, reliable, impossibly strong Thor - the very last thing Loki wanted to deal with tonight but the only thing he couldn't escape.

Story of his fucking life.

"Your sarcasm mode is still on, brother." Thor said with the suggestion of a smirk. Once Loki stopped being a bag full of snarky remarks and thinly veiled insults - that was when they needed to worry.

He worked his arm around Loki's middle to steady him. It was embarrassingly helpful because Loki felt like had tried to stop a train with his kneecaps. He made a silent note to himself never to fling himself underneath a table in a running jump ever again. Even if that allowed him to cut an opponent's tendons in the process.

"We," Thor announced as they wobbled towards the front door, "are going to have to talk."

Loki made a noise that was somewhere between a sigh and a pained groan, "I was afraid you were going to say that."

Thor's laugh was low but it vibrated between them like the soothing stroke of a hand. It didn't last long though. They had barely made it onto the porch when screeching tires announced the arrival of several unexpected visitors.

And they were pissed.

Loki swallowed hard and closed his eyes in a desperate attempt to make the inevitable go away, "Oh no."

Laufey himself stood on their front lawn, looking for all it was worth like he was going to set it on fire. A multitude of his minions followed suit, mirroring their leader's expression to a T.

"What did you do _now_ , brother?" Thor hissed and manhandled Loki into a position where the nearest pillar would provide support. Loki did not like being leaned against the wall like a wet umbrella but he had little choice seeing as how his brother was already marching towards the army of Frost Giants, pointing at Laufey.

"You. What are you doing here?" Loki watched in horror as Thor roared accusations into Laufey's face, "You are overstepping your boundaries."

Laufey was tall, freakishly tall even. He towered over Thor by a few inches which was truly astounding. It was like someone had actually assembled him - and just hadn't freaking _stopped_ assembling until Laufey's head had hit the ceiling. Pretty damned high ceiling too.

He was wiry but apparently not _'lanky'_ as Loki had yet to hear anyone call him that. It might have had something to do with Laufey's reputation of yanking people's heads off with his bare hands, but Loki never trusted rumors until he had proof.

Which they would get plenty of if they were not careful.

" _I_ am overstepping boundaries?" Laufey gave a laugh that could have put a freezer to shame, "I think you are misinformed. The ones who crossed the line were _you_."

He glanced over to Loki who found the wooden railing most interesting. Out of the corner of his eye Loki noticed Thor turning around too.

"If he trespassed onto your territory I'm sure it was merely by accident-"

"Are you ridiculing me?" Laufey growled. He had such a nice way of asking people not to bullshit him. "He staged a heist in my neighborhood, wrecked several cars, left dead bodies in his wake and now I have the police investigating in my district. How can this be an accident?"

"A heist." Thor deadpanned while Loki hobbled down the steps to prevent any immediate deaths.

This was veering off in a direction that was both dangerous and useless to Loki. Bloodshed served none of them at this point. And besides, Loki had spent way too much time cleaning up after his brother to let him die in a spontaneous yard fight now. Also, he would miss his stupid face.

"You don't believe me?" Laufey snarled, his minions inconspicuously drawing closer, "Why don't you ask your brother, _princess_?"

"Damn." Loki flung himself at Thor before the swing could hit Laufey square in the jaw.

"Let go!" Thor bellowed and stumbled backwards, dragging Loki with him. But Loki didn't care that every joint in his body was complaining with the strain of holding Thor back. He was multi-tasking: Saving Thor's life and bringing an old plan back on track.

"Don't, Thor. Just _think_ for a second," Loki pleaded. "We're outnumbered."

Thor's smile was grim, "I love a challenge."

"This isn't a challenge," Loki shoved Thor away and put himself between his brother and Laufey - in hindsight an extremely disadvantaged position, "this is a death wish. Now _please_ , behave yourself and let me see if I can save our collective asses."

Thor's chest heaved with barely constrained anger but he stayed put, at least for the moment. Laufey only sneered.

"Listen," Loki implored while Laufey looked at him like he was estimating how long it would take to bury Loki where he stood. "We all know this conflict has been simmering underneath the surface for years now-"

Laufey quirked an eyebrow and Loki conceded, "-alright, maybe not so much _underneath_ as directly above it. But the point is that both our sides have been looking for a way to end this once and for all for a long time. Feel free to tell me I'm wrong."

Nobody spoke up. Not even Thor, who radiated wrath like a kettle on a stove. Loki could feel it in the flex of his muscles where his hand still rested on Thor's arm.

"What do you suggest?" Laufey eventually asked, every word dripping with menace and Loki braced himself.

"A race," his grasp on Thor's arm tightened, "winner takes all."

It was a gamble but Loki was nothing if not a good player. He knew how to cheat Lady Luck. He simply didn’t offer her a chance to back out. If Laufey agreed and won the race Thor would have to retreat and Loki could easily make his own deal with the Frost Giants. Should Thor win, well, that would take care of the Frost Giants quite nicely and Loki could work on bringing their territory under his control.

Win/win, really.

" _Brother,_ " Thor hissed behind him but Loki ignored it. He kept his eyes steady on the leader of the Frost Giants who seemed to contemplate his options.

"A race?" Laufey echoed, tapping his fingers against his pocket. It sounded vaguely metallic, "Against who? You? A cheater? A bastard?"

Loki was familiar with insults but he didn’t have to take it from a man who thought mercy was the name of the hospital they shipped his victims off to. Thankfully, Thor chose this moment to yank his arm free and growl, "No. I'll race you."

In his mind Loki patted himself on the shoulder. On the outside he gave Thor a wide-eyed look of shock but remained purposefully quiet.

"I accept." Laufey said with a leer that was bordering on the obscene. They shook on it and Loki was pretty sure small pieces of the universe were crushed in that handshake.

"One week from today," Laufey added, "I'll send one of my boys to you with the route."

"Well, wouldn't that be convenient for you." Loki smiled while Thor looked as if another punch was itching to break free. "You know that the whole city will have their eyes on this race. You wouldn't want anyone to think you were not playing fair, would you?"

Loki dropped suggestions like bread crumbs, waiting for people to pick them up. Laufey did too but he was less inclined to follow.

"Fine," he snarled, "let's make it half-half, shall we? Six miles. I map out three, you map out three."

Three miles on roads of their own choosing wasn't too bad a compromise, so Loki agreed with a taunting bow, "We will accept your most gracious offer."

"Don't mock me, little snake," Laufey grumbled, pointing an accusatory finger at Loki, "because you'll be in the car with your brother."

Loki swallowed but otherwise didn't let his surprise show. He hadn't planned on actually being part of the race - cheating from the passenger seat was always such a bother.

But seeing as how arguing might cause Lady Luck to shut the door on him entirely Loki had little choice. He nodded, "As you wish."

"I do wish that." Laufey smirked before he turned around and walked to his car like he owned the entire fucking street, "I want to keep an eye on you in my rearview mirror."

Loki resisted the urge to flip him the bird because he was above such menial gestures of dislike. Instead he delighted in the fact that Laufey had involuntarily helped heave the wreck of Loki's original plan from the depths of tonight's failures.

It didn't last too long though. A heavy hand landed on Loki's shoulder as he moved to wobble back inside the house.

"We are not finished here, brother."


	7. About That...

"Explain."

So, they were down to one-worded commands. Great. Loki sat in one of the mismatched chairs in the living room and successfully avoided looking at Thor who was standing in front of him like a marble monument.

It was unfair that Thor got to be angry while Loki had to hold his tongue despite having just saved their lives. But he doubted that babbling about his plans to take over the company behind Thor's back was going to earn him any points.

And so he just sat there and tried to determine which parts of the truth he could trust Thor with.

"Somebody asked me to obtain an item," he ventured, "and said item just happened to be located in Frost Giant territory."

"What item? What did you even-," Thor roared but was interrupted by the rest of their household stumbling in.

"Thor!" Sif was always first, "What happened? We just saw Laufey and his gang-"

Thor shot them an angry glance, "Please leave us alone for a moment. I'll explain everything later."

"But what were-"

"Leave us!"

Even Loki jumped at the sudden increase in volume. He was pretty sure something heavy in the attic just fell over from the sheer force of it.

Nobody dared to argue, although Loki could see Sif's worried expression from the corner of his eye as she ushered the others upstairs. But not even she had the guts to go up against Thor in such a mood. This particular honor belonged to Loki. He was such a lucky chap.

"She is going to be pissed at you for this." Loki mumbled.

"Don't change the subject." Thor started pacing, his arms crossed in front of his chest like muscled barricades, "What were you _thinking_ pulling a stunt like this behind my back?"

A lot, actually. But that was probably not the answer Thor wanted to hear.

Loki gave a shrug, "I did it to earn some cash."

"Cash?" Thor plopped down on the chair opposite from Loki. He looked worn out which was new and a little bit scary. Thor _never_ looked like he was anything short of a god, like nothing could physically affect him.

"But why-," he stopped, heaved a sigh and began again, "what would you need extra cash for?"

Loki fiddled with the upholstery, "It was for the shop."

Thor gaped, "Why didn't you just say so? You could have had all the money you needed."

Loki rolled his eyes, "As if you would trust me with that. You don't even trust me with the day's takings."

"That's because the last time we let you handle it you bought a strip club."

That was, sadly, true.

"It was a bargain," Loki shrugged, "and I mainly did it for the casino they had downstairs."

"You are not helping your case, brother."

Admittedly, it didn’t but Loki knew what would.

He leaned forward, "I know, I know. But at least trust me on this, brother. This is our chance to get rid of Laufey once and for all. You have been saying it for _years_."

Loki refrained from bringing up the old man. He had always been firmly opposed to open hostilities towards the Frost Giants - no matter how hard the bastards had tried to provoke them. But the moment Thor had learned of their plots and attempts at sabotage he had been pushing to end it in one final blow.

Needless to say the old man had not been happy with Thor's increasing interest in warfare.

"This is the chance to end it without bloodshed." Loki pressed on, cautiously resting his hand on Thor's thigh. If he allowed the contact they were out of the woods.

Thor studied him for a long while until he finally let out a sigh and slumped back in his chair. He did _not_ remove Loki's hand from his knee so that was something at least.

"The damage is done. There's hardly anything we can do but to kick his ass."

"I was hoping this would be a non-violent solution but if you insist..."

"Oh, shut up." Thor laughed and Loki couldn't keep a smile from spreading on his lips. Moments like these made him actually root for his brother. And then reality usually set in.

Thor stood up, "We're going to need a car, you know that. The Camaro isn’t going to cut it against Laufey."

Loki grinned, "We can always build one."

A good-natured slap landed on Loki's shoulder, making him wince, "So, you will help me?"

"Of course." As if Loki would ever let Thor near a functioning car without supervision.

Thor beamed at him and beckoned Loki to follow him upstairs, "Now, come on, let's get you patched up."

"How about we just let Sif stab me?" Loki complained but trudged after his brother anyway, "You're a horrible nurse."

"How about you shut up and I don't strangle you in return?"

"Deal."

\---

Sex that night was a very cautious affair since Loki kept hissing at every touch and swatted Thor over the head a lot for poking him in places that were already purple and green as it was. Loki really did not care for looking like one of Hogun's color palettes.

At least, it meant that he was up well before Thor. Sleep had never been one to grace Loki with much of its presence whereas Thor might very well end up sleeping through the freaking Apocalypse. He also snored like Mrs Fortmeier's old lawn mower.

Hogun was the only one up and he was not a morning person. In fact, Loki had yet to find a time of the day that pleased him but it was just as well. Loki didn't feel like talking anyway.

He snagged a chocolate chip cookie from Hogun's plate and disappeared behind the house. He had some unfinished business to take care of and he was not willing to share it with anyone.

Munching on his cookie he brought up last night's text messages.

_Where is the package?_

That didn't sound particularly angry. But it had only been roughly an hour after the drop-off had failed. If it had been Loki he would have unleashed bloody hell by now but this buyer remained uncannily silent.

Well, only one way to find out how deep this hellhole he'd fallen into really was.

Loki hit the dial button and waited for the first beep.

It never came. Instead, a friendly yet uncooperative young lady informed him in her tinny voice that said number did not exist.

Loki tried again - to the same effect. He stared at his phone in confusion.

Why would a contractor who had sent Loki on numerous errands suddenly disconnect their phone? Could have been to protect themselves from any nosy cops on the off chance that Loki had been arrested. But given how well-informed this buyer usually was they had to know that Loki was still around and about.

Which left the question of why he was still alive _at all_. In Loki's experience mysterious buyers who were financially capable of drawing up small armies were not the kind of people who freaked out in the face of screw-ups. They were the kind of people who sent said armies after you and _ended you_.

And yet, Loki was in his backyard, calling a disconnected number and wondering what to make of it. He leaned against the wall, tapping the phone against his chin as he stared off into the distance. Inside, the house was beginning to buzz with life. Although, 'buzz' was probably too gentle a word. Once Volstagg started making breakfast all hopes of sleep were usually squashed.

Somebody called his name but Loki needed more time to think. There were ways to get to the identity behind a number - Loki had always made it a point to keep friends in the right places. But that was possibly a dead end too. If Loki had had the idea to use a burn phone his buyer friend probably had too.

Either way, he wasn't going to figure it out by standing around in his backyard. One problem at a time. He could continue worrying about it once they had this nasty matter with Laufey resolved - if he managed to survived that.

\---

The war council convened later that day when one of Laufey's minions dropped by with their part of the route. It was less of a disaster than Loki had feared. If Laufey thought he was being clever Loki had to disappoint him.

Three thirds of his route led through narrow alleyways with sharp turns and at one point even through what looked like a park but that was to be expected. Laufey knew the Odinsons had a terrible tendency to bank on speed and raw power.

Fortunately, they also had Loki.

Cheating from the passenger seat wasn’t easy but it was not impossible. The route he drafted after lengthy discussions with the rest of their patchwork family looked inconspicuous enough. A lot of large two-lane streets as Laufey would surely expect and a couple of turns on less familiar ground.

And one railroad crossing.


	8. Failure To Comply

"So, how do you want to do this?" Loki twirled one of the wrenches in his hand.

They were back at the shop, staring at the old man's Charger. Thor kept it in the last garage in the farthest corner of their premises like some kind of shrine that nobody was allowed near. In reality he had just kept himself out. Loki had never questioned it. Thor had his quirks and bringing them up would only derail into a conversation about psychology and the deeper meaning of things that gave Loki aneurysms just thinking about.

However, all things had to come to an end.

Odin's 1968 Charger sat in the middle of the room like an aged beast, all dusty and worn out by rust but it was quite obvious that once unleashed it would still roar louder than anything else. That roar was what they were banking on.

"Thor?" Loki asked again while his brother let his fingers dance over the sharp edges of the body. It was a fine car, no doubt, but its days were over and Loki was fed up with waiting for Thor to accept that.

"The way you are stroking this car," Loki smirked and sauntered over to his brother, "a man could get jealous."

"No need. That's hardly competition for you." Thor laughed.

"Great. Then can we move this along, please?" Loki gestured at the keys in Thor's hand and arched an eyebrow. They didn't have time to turn this into a fucking memorial service. This was an emergency operation and the term implied a certain lack of niceties and reverie.

Thor had resorted to quietly humming his agreement. He unlocked the car and subsequently the hood for Loki to take a look at the mechanical heart of the matter. That damned Charger was exactly like the old man - defined edges and rough on the outside but with the heart of a lion. This one happened to be manufactured by Dodge. Although, Loki doubted that this was how Dodge issued their engines.

It looked like it was about to grow wings and fly away all on its own.

"Yes." Loki said, pleased as he settled down to lean on the edge of the engine compartment while Thor shambled over to him to stand in front of the Charger, "I think we can work with that."

Thor smiled, so fond as if the old man was still standing next to him explaining engine parts to him. He had tried that with Loki too, only to find out that even as a teenager Loki had devoured car manuals and engineering books like they held the answers to all his questions. They didn't. But it made him a damned good mechanic.

"Doubts?" He inquired when Thor failed to do anything aside from admiring the machinery before him.

His brother glanced at him and Loki knew scruples when he saw them but Thor squared his shoulders and nodded, "No. Let's do this, brother."

Loki's smile was genuine when he held out the wrench. They were finally getting somewhere.

"Be my guest."

\---

It took them half a day to take the engine apart but when they were done it was like walking through a landscape made of chrome, metal, and the faint air of speed. They had laid out the parts like archaeologists trying to assemble a dinosaur skeleton, only this one had eight valves and over 370hp.

The problem with removing an engine from a car and putting it into another was much the same as attempting to fit eight people into a six-men tent. It worked, if everyone behaved and stayed on their side but it required a whole lot of arranging. And everything unnecessary had to go.

It was especially difficult if you didn't even know what kind of tent you were going to work with.

"I'll get the list." Loki announced, wiping sweat, grease and remainders of their little accident with the fuel tank from his forehead. He was going to have to take _several_ showers tonight to get rid of that smell.

Thor was squatting on a camping chair in the corner and reverently scrubbed away at a spark plug. He was humming _'Thunderstruck'_ which Loki chose not to comment on.

Instead, he headed out to fetch _The List_.

Every tuning shop had one. Some were more organized, some less, and some had Sif. Their junkyard was easily the best catalogued. Sif was very adamant about keeping order and she enforced it with an iron will. Whatever piece of wreckage they towed into their backyard she knew about it and noted everything down in neat little columns.

These days she had even taken to designing a database for it. She refused to give anyone the password though, claiming they would make the computer explode which was a bit of an overreaction in Loki's opinion. That had only happened once. And they didn't let Thor near it anymore.

Loki strode into the shop through the backdoor, still working to remove all the grime which seemed to have developed a life of its own. It was late but for a shop like theirs it was never closing time. Street racers were not exactly known for their 9-to-5 routine.

He gave a curt nod to Fandral and one of his interchangeable female acquaintances and went to rummage through Sif's drawers. She still updated the paper list every now and then and Loki had neither the nerve nor the desire to go looking for her and start a debate about authorized database access. The written list would do for now.

Provided that he could find it.

He slammed the drawer shut and cursed Sif for her apparent talent of hiding things from him. He was just about to give in and call her when he noticed a newcomer. When the visitor hesitantly walked up to him he schooled his expression into something that, were it capable of having a temperature, would have ranged somewhere below dry ice.

Hurricane Jane was about to hit Loki's troubled shores once again.

"Hi," she offered a hopeful smile which Loki wouldn't have returned if he'd gotten paid for it, "remember me?"

He remembered parts of her. They were covered by an abnormally large quantity of clothing today.

"Last garage on the right." Loki waved a hand at the backdoor and continued to destroy all the precious order on Sif's desk, "Can't miss him. Big, blond, lots of muscles."  
"Ah, actually I wanted to talk to you."

Loki dropped the trash can. He didn't even know why he'd been looking in there in the first place. This whole Jane situation was taking a toll on him. Next thing he knew he would be sitting on the porch screaming at the kids to stay off his lawn.

He frowned at her which she mistook as an invitation to elaborate, "Look, I think we got off on the wrong foot. Well, in fact, I'm pretty _sure_ we got off on the wrong foot. And I... well, I wanted to apologize. For the whole masquerade the other night."

She tugged at her jeans and gave him an apologetic smile, "It wasn't my idea. That was all Darcy and trust me, she is suffering the consequences for making me do this."

Loki failed to see how this was his problem which, once more, prompted her to go on.

"So, I came to say I’m sorry." She held out her hand, "Maybe we could start over? I'm Jane. Jane Foster. I work for the New York Courier. You know, the newspaper?"

Apparently, Jane was laboring under the impression that Loki had never walked by a newspaper stand in his life.

Multiple pairs of eyes were suddenly on him and he had the eerie feeling that any misbehavior on his part would be immediately reported to the idiot in the garage. So, he swallowed his objections and shook her hand, albeit rather stoically, "Loki Odinson."

"Yeah, hi." She seemed relieved which Loki couldn't quite support, "I know. Your brother talks a lot about you."

Loki squinted at her from where he was fiddling with Sif's file cabinet under the table. That damned lock was always giving him trouble.

"Does he now?"

Jane nodded enthusiastically, "Oh yes. I could barely get him to shut up."

She laughed but paused when she realized that this was not necessarily a compliment. "Oh shit. I-... I didn't mean it like that. What I wanted to say was that he-," she wrung her hands and gave up, "I am royally fucking this up, aren't I?"

Loki had to hand it to her: At least she knew when to stop.

He yanked at the file cabinet and when it didn't budge rolled backwards on Sif's chair to give it a hearty kick. He would have lied if he said it wasn’t fun to make Jane jump in shock.

"Take consolation in the fact that I wasn't having the best of days either." Loki said, abandoning his work on the file cabinet in favor of sifting through the drawers over at the reception desk. Jane followed him.

"Yeah, so I've heard..."

Loki looked up, scowling at her.

She gave a shrug. "Reporter. It's my job to know stuff like that."

"Then you should know to leave it alone." Loki's tone had dipped into a growl. He could see Fandral giving him a questioning look over Jane's shoulder but Loki waved him off.

She held up her hands in defense. "Believe me, nothing could be further from my mind than to stick my nose into your business, considering where it gets you."

Loki blinked. As far as answers went that was a pretty nifty one. Hurricane Jane had a capacity for sarcasm, who would have guessed?

"The thing is, it doesn't seem to be just _your_ business anymore." She worried her lower lip as if contemplating which door to choose before reaching into her bag and producing a large brown envelope. Loki didn't even have time to properly educate her on how much he loathed her fucking nose because a blurry black and white image slipped out onto the desk and put all his resentment on the backburner.

"What is this?"

"You." Jane was horribly confusing. She didn't sound accusatory or demanding or even spiteful which threw Loki for a loop because he sure as hell would have been if he had been in possession of such incriminating evidence.

"I pulled this off a traffic camera." She rolled her eyes and gestured vaguely, "Well, not really me but Darcy and she'll tell you it was a pain in the ass too but don't listen to her. She always gets so overdramatic when she's forced to do actual work. Anyway, this was taken three weeks ago."

Loki inspected the grainy picture. The quality was crappy and that could have been any remarkably tall, dark-haired man climbing into an equally dark car at two in the morning with several thugs in tow, really. But it wasn't. A blind man with a stick could have identified Loki. He was cursedly distinguishable.

"That wasn't your first heist, the other night, was it?" Jane asked tentatively when Loki refused to do anything but glower at her and the offending image in turns.

"Look," she went on, misinterpreting Loki's silence as distress, "I am not going to do anything with this, I swear. All I'm saying is that, maybe, you should tell your brother. He deserves to know."

Something inside Loki grew teeth and an alarming appetite for blood.

He beckoned her closer and made sure his tone of voice would give her nightmares, "And what, pray tell, gives you the right to advocate in my brother's name?"

She had either practiced in front of a mirror or was infuriatingly sturdy because she managed to hold his gaze, "I like him. He's a good guy. I may not have spent my entire life with him but I know a decent man when I see one. I just think he deserves to know what's going on, that's all."

Thor - The Good Guy (TM). How Loki hated it when people put his brother on a pedestal and worshipped him as the ultimate force of good. It was bad enough spending his life as Thor's eternal shadow but when he was made out to be the fucking _Dark Side_ Loki wanted to punch something.

Thor was as flawed as everyone else - he just happened to have flaws that the world seemed to consider brilliant. Somewhere along the line the world's and Loki's views on shortcomings had diverted drastically.

"I think you should leave now." Loki snarled, clinging to the jagged remains of his self-control.

Jane nodded sternly but made the right call by not pressing the matter. She stepped back from the counter holding up her hands in a placating manner and made her way towards the door in meaningful silence. The image was left behind.

He glared at her retreating back until she was gone from sight. If looks could kill he would have been charged with triple homicide by now - _on the same person_.

"What the hell happened to my desk?" Sif was back and her tone promised physical pain to whoever had dared to touch her things but Loki couldn't be arsed to care.

"Loki...," Sif grumbled, directing her criminative gaze at him. She hesitated when Loki showed no signs of malicious contentment, fear or any other form of emotion that wasn't murderous rage.

"Loki?" She slowly walked up to him, waving her hand to get his attention, "Loki, what-"

He snatched the image from the desk before Sif could get it into her head to ask, "The List, please."

She was smart enough to keep her mouth shut and simply reached into a filing basket where Loki was pretty sure he'd looked before and handed him the folder. She merely arched an eyebrow when Loki grabbed the list and stalked out of the room without another word.

He only stopped once to drop the photograph into the shredder in Thor's office.


	9. On How To Create A Supernova

The ring binder landed heavily on the hood of the Charger, making an obscurely hollow sound without the engine block underneath.

Thor looked up, his smile dissipating almost immediately, "Something wrong? You look like Mrs Fortmeier's cat the day she got into our sprinklers."

"Thank you for the charming comparison, brother," Loki bit out, "everything is _peachy_.

"Your _girlfriend_ just dropped by." He added conversationally, if conversations were made of knives.

"My what?" Thor frowned, "I don't have a girlfr-... wait, do you mean Jane?"

"Yes," this situation definitely lacked knives in Loki's opinion, " _Jane_."

Thor laughed, putting down his work and standing up, "She's not my girlfriend, Loki."

"Are you sure?"

"Of course-," Thor paused and Loki could positively hear the little cogwheels inside his head turning, "wait, what is that supposed to mean?"

"You tell me." Loki hissed and demonstratively turned his back on Thor who immediately waddled over.

"What happened? Why are you suddenly like this?"

"What, am I not allowed to have mood swings?"

"You were fine ten minutes ago."

"That's the point of mood swings, Thor."

Loki could always tell when Thor was on the verge of a breakthrough. He brightened up like he had just understood the meaning of life and was about to explain it to everyone. Then the moment passed and they were back to good old Thor, the humanoid Golden Retriever.

"Is this about Jane?" Thor could be maddeningly blind. Sometimes that was convenient for Loki. At other times Loki just wanted to scream at his brother until they were both deaf.

"I don't know what you have against her," Thor rambled on, "she's nice and she just wants to help."

Loki had a way of quietly cultivating his anger. If he'd been so inclined he would have been one of those quiet, pleasant neighbors who buried all his victims underneath the gorgeous rose bushes and nobody would be the wiser. But today was more of a throw-them-in-the-mincer kind of day because _fuck this_.

"Help with _what_?" _To ruin my plan? To interfere with my life? To drive me nuts like all the other meddling idiots who think my life is a free-for-all playground?_

He didn't say any of that though. "Does she have an engineering degree I'm not aware of?"

"For all you know she could have!" Thor exclaimed, "You're not even giving her a chance!"

Precious.

Loki leaned onto the workbench, his fingers curling around a dismantled piston until his knuckles turned white. It wasn't that he was going to use it because, _please_. This was Thor, who punched in walls with his head when he was drunk. But it felt good to have something solid to hold on to.

"For your information," his tone was the vocal equivalent of things with sharp teeth hiding in high grass, "I am not obligated to like everything that you like."

"That's not what I meant." Thor said and Loki could sense the first signs of Thor's very special brand of anger - the one that ripped doors out of their hinges.

"No, Thor, that's exactly what you meant. You just can't stand that something is not the way you want it to be." Loki was done here. He tried to wriggle past his brother but Thor blocked the exit with the entirety of his body. He was surprisingly effective as a gate.

"You speak in riddles," Thor growled, not budging a single inch when Loki wrestled with him, "and I am not letting you leave until you tell me what the hell this is all about."

"Get out of my way." Loki couldn't growl like an enraged tiger but he could damned well hiss like a pissed-off rattlesnake.

"No."

 _No._ And that was that. Thor was such a frustratingly stubborn piece of raw strength that a simple 'No' on his part sufficed to settle most arguments. He didn't _need_ a reason. All he needed was a good swing and a chin to land it on.

Not that he would ever knowingly hurt Loki but it was further proof of how easy it was for Thor to get his way whereas Loki had to work his ass off to get even a _slice_ of the same thing. It just wasn't fair.

And he showed Thor how unfair it all was by hitting him square in the jaw - with the piston.

\---

Loki could count the times their arguments had ended in fisticuffs on one hand. The majority had happened when they were kids and Thor hadn't known how to pull his punches. It had lead to lengthy lectures courtesy of Frigga about Things You Were not Allowed to Do to Your Brother.

One time they had been drunk off their asses and the only other time had happened after Thor had discovered the incident with the strip club. In Loki's defense, there had been alcohol involved and Thor was just as guilty for introducing Blow Jobs into their drinking ritual as everyone else. The correlation between drink and action had not been lost on Loki.

So, this was number six and landed Loki pinned down on the hood of the Charger with Thor on top of him like a block of concrete. The outcome was irritatingly familiar.

"Listen to me, brother," Thor's deep rumble sent chills up Loki's spine and that was another one of those fairness issues. It shouldn't have been possible for Thor to turn Loki's anger into arousal this easily. But Loki could lie with his tongue all he wanted, his body had other plans.

" _Listen to me_ ," Thor repeated when Loki started thrashing again - vain attempts at freeing his wrists from Thor's grip. He might as well have tried to lift a bridge. "If you are indeed worried about Jane I can assure you there is no need because nothing, do you hear me, _nothing_ compares to the love I harbor for you. And if you have any doubt I am more than willing to provide proof."

 _Step down and spend a day in my shoes,_ was what Loki should have said because it sure as hell was what he was thinking. But instead he merely snorted. Rose bushes and dead bodies, there he went again. Thor was so lost in the woods it would have taken a search party to get him back on the right track.

"Prove to me what exactly?" Loki smiled, humorless and grim. He hadn't expected an answer because Thor was hardly a man of words and he was right. Thor dove in for a kiss but Loki turned his head so that his brother ended up nuzzling Loki's jaw instead.

It seemed to be just as well because Thor gave a guttural growl and made do with what he had. And that was Loki's exposed neck.

This, Loki decided, had been an ill-advised move. Thor had many years of experience in how to make Loki compliant by simply applying a little pressure _here_ and a hint of teeth _there_ so giving him access to one of the most sensitive spots on his body was not a recommendable course of action. Loki clung to his self-restraint though, refusing to let the little gasps that were dancing on the tip of his tongue spill from his lips.

Besides, if Thor thought that this discussion was over he definitely-

 _Oh_. Thor bit down on the junction between Loki's neck and shoulder and Loki was done. He was done with this whole damned business, this day, Jane, good plans going down the drain, _everything_. Every now and then Thor's overly physical approach was a perfectly acceptable way to waste some time.

"Damn you." Loki cursed and as if on cue Thor released his wrists so Loki could tangle his fingers in those blond strands and bring their mouths together.

Verbal communication had never been their forte. Thor just blurted out whatever was on his mind while Loki said everything but. This though, _this_ was alright because Loki couldn't lie with his fingertips and Thor didn't have to speak at all.

A compromise in touch and breath; and for a few moments they were actually on the same page. Funny how that went.

Thor had managed to sneak his arm under Loki and was holding him as if he was afraid that Loki might disappear if he didn't hold on fast enough. He needn't have worried - disappearing had never been on Loki's agenda. His emergency plan was, after all, to haunt Thor's ass 'til kingdom come.

Times like these made Loki almost forget about his intentions. It was as if Thor's kisses, the stroke of his hand, every smile against Loki's skin were erasing step after step in Loki's carefully drafted schemes and all that was left was Loki and his unfathomable desire to be the center of Thor's universe.

It should have been embarrassing but that was the thing about Thor. People didn't follow Thor because he was such an exceptional leader - being built like a vault door didn't count - they followed him because _he made it seem like a good idea_.

On rare occasions Loki was inclined to agree. In his defense, when Thor's hand dipped between his legs and palmed his erection through the rough fabric of the coverall Loki would have agreed to pretty much anything. This wasn't fair either but Loki had made peace with the fact that every once in a while even someone like him could fall victim to the chemical chain reaction commonly known as sex. And when all was said and done he was actually coming out on top because the trail of Thor's tongue kept digressing towards Loki's waistline.

They had their coveralls loosely tied around their hips by the sleeves so when Thor undid the knot on Loki's it easily slid to the ground. Loki often complained how difficult it was to find work attire for a man of his stature but in situations like these his slender hips came in quite handy.

He could feel Thor's breath through the thin material of his briefs. Small puffs of heat that made Loki squirm, his sweat-slick skin sticking to the smooth metal of the Charger wherever his tank top didn't provide an extra layer.

Since there was no arm holding him in place anymore Loki scrambled up and onto his elbows to find Thor kneeling before him, grinning while mouthing Loki's cock through his underwear.

"You were saying something about proof." Loki frowned but it slipped when Thor sucked a little harder, "This is not proof."

Thor looked up at him like he had rented the right to be the single most perfect being in the universe and smirked, "No?"

"No." Loki insisted despite the breath he drew in at the feeling of Thor's hand cupping his balls, "This is called being a tease."

"You don't like it?" If this was Thor's disappointed face he failed spectacularly at expressing the sentiment. In Loki's experience disappointment didn’t come with a cocky grin.

He reached out and tugged at a couple of Thor's strands, maybe a tad too forcefully, "Let me put it this way: If you don’t want me to do the same to you later on I suggest you cut to the chase."

Thor's brow furrowed for a moment but then he seemed to get the hint because his grin grew even wider and he hooked his index fingers under the waistband of Loki's briefs and pulled. He could have really foregone the suggestive wink though.

Loki just hoped, for Thor's sake, that his underwear didn't land in a puddle of motor oil. A moment later he wasn't sure spelling the word 'oil' was still among his capabilities. Thor's lips wrapped around the head of his dick and Loki's purchase on the Charger ceased to exist altogether. He slumped back, his head hitting the metal none too gently.

It was hard to imagine that anything mattered besides the wet heat inside Thor's mouth, his fingers around the base of Loki's cock, circling and finding just the right spots to apply pressure to. Thor didn't do this often which was a damned shame because if he'd gotten more practice he could have been exceptional. Until then Loki settled for the knowledge that Thor was an unyielding man but he knelt quite readily for Loki. That in and of itself was more power than anyone else had over Thor and Loki was well aware of it. And he would have been lying if he said it wasn't a turn-on.

Contrary to common belief the hood of a '68 Charger was not a particularly suitable place to receive a blow job on. There was barely anything to hold on to apart from the narrow gap between hood and windshield which Loki was now desperately searching for. He was going to have indents on his fingers for hours from the sharp edge but it was worth it.

Thor's hands were steady on his hips which was the only reason why Loki even dared to let go with one hand to blindly bury it in Thor's hair. One of these days Loki was going to get behind why it was so darn easy for Thor to settle arguments like this. Why it was so easy for the stupid oaf to reduce Loki to a quivering mess who even failed to appreciate the depravity of having sex on top of their father's car.

And that told you everything you needed to know about Loki's mental state when he finally came.

Loki had little recollection of, not to mention influence on what happened next. All he could say for certain was that he was slipping and eventually ended up seated in Thor's lap, cradled in his brother's embrace that was surprisingly light on the bone-crushing today. His left knee was in something gooey and this was all terribly unsanitary but Loki was content enough not to point it out. Instead he listened to his own erratic heartbeat and reveled in the tickling sensation of Thor's breath on his shoulder.

"Are you convinced yet, brother?" Thor mumbled into the crook of Loki's neck.

Loki wearily waggled one hand, "I'm a little fuzzy on the details. You may want to repeat the middle part."

Everything wobbled when Thor laughed, "Greedy bastard."

"I just want to avoid misunderstandings. Can't blame me for being thorough."

"Alright," Thor said with another laugh that felt like cuddling a sub-woofer, "I'll clarify. But at home."

"Whatever. As long as there is a shower involved at some point."

Loki had the distinct feeling that Thor was grinning even though he couldn't see it on account of being awarded a sloppy kiss to his temple, "That can be arranged."


	10. Knick-Knack

Jane was still a touchy subject but not for the reasons Thor thought. Loki didn't care. He just let his brother wander around in his little forest of assumptions because it was easier that way. Plus, it explained all of Loki's animosity towards her rather nicely.

She was around an awful lot too - despite Loki's repeated questions of what the heck she was meant to help them with. At least she brought coffee when she dropped by, which did nothing to redeem her in Loki's eyes, but gave him something to do while he pictured her gruesome death.

The matter of Loki's private endeavors never came up again, but Jane kept giving him these meaningful looks when she handed him his coffee that annoyed Loki to no end. He did his best to ignore her presence and immersed himself in their little project.

While taking Odin's Charger apart had been a task strictly reserved to Loki and his brother, building their new champion car was a group effort. They had dubbed it _’Project: Thunder'_ , mainly because project _'Hell yeah, we are going to kick their frosty asses so hard they'll end up on the moon. What? It's a totally legitimate name. Why are you all looking at me like that?'_ was too long and _'Mjölnir'_ was difficult to pronounce after the fifth beer.

So, 'Thunder' it was. And once the engine roared for the first time it became quite clear that there would indeed be a lot of thundering involved.

Volstagg was their strongman, welding, bending and hammering the frame into place wherever needed. Sif took care of the wiring, bedding the NOS tanks safely into their compartments while Fandral saw to the interior and made sure everything was where it was supposed to be and easily accessible. Loki also suspected he was the one who had added the pink, fluffy dice on the rearview mirror.

Thor and Loki worked on the engine day and night until it passed the final test: Mrs Fortmeier's cat. They had computers and test equipment to boot but no engine left their garage that hadn't passed the ultimate test of nature itself. The key was to have the engine run as smoothly as possible, and they had yet to find a program that was as picky as that darned cat. If she purred and fell asleep they were good to go.

Hogun added the finishing touches by adjusting the body kit and doing his airbrush magic and voilá - a day before the big race their 21st century chariot was ready for its maiden voyage.

"Nice feathers." Loki remarked with a smirk as they stood together in the vast backyard of Asgard Motors admiring their creation. The remodeled Volkswagen was glinting in freshly polished white, red, and silver like a jewel.

"You don't really want to start this again, do you?" Thor admonished but he was grinning like a schoolboy in a candy shop when he circled around to the driver' side, "You're the one with the cow on your car."

Loki sighed, "You never did pay attention in biology class, did you?"

"What for?" Thor could grin like he had a banana stuck sideways in his mouth. It was astonishing. "To learn about cows?"

"No," Loki walked over to the open passenger side window, resting his arms on the frame and watching Thor adjust the driver's seat, "so you would know the difference between something that gives milk and something that can rip you a new one if you provoke it."

"Oh, brother," Thor laughed and leaned over, "I didn't know you were so fond of milk."

Loki smirked, "Shut up and let's see how fast you can fly with those wings."


	11. Boom, Blast, And Ruin

There were sports leagues who would have considered blood sacrifices to have the same attendance as the big showdown between the Frost Giants and the Odinsons. This was the Super Bowl of street racing and people treated it as such. Somebody had even carted a hot dog stand onto the parking lot that served as base camp for the night.

The route was lined with spectators because somebody _always_ talked and Heimdall needed scouts at the major intersections anyway.

"He looks confident enough." Thor mused as he let their car roll to a halt at the improvised starting line. Laufey had already taken up his spot to their right in his infamous Challenger. It was an open hostility on wheels, much like its owner.

Loki looked up briefly from the sat nav he was fiddling with, "Worried, brother?"

"No," Thor patted the gearshift almost lovingly, "I'm just looking forward to wiping that grin off his face."

"In time," Loki plugged the device into Fandral's nifty docking station on the dashboard and started going through his pre-start routine, "but first, can we please focus on making it out of this alive? You know he drives like a lunatic."

Thor snorted, "That doesn't bother me."

"It bothers _me_ ," Loki nodded towards their opponent while checking on the NOS containers in the back, "he's got spikes _on his rims_ , for crying out loud."

"He won't get close enough to use them, brother. Trust me." Thor peered past him, "Who's that in the car with him?"

Loki threw a glance over his shoulder and shrugged, "Who knows? Brother, cousin, random hostage. Hard to say with these guys."  
"Do you think they'll try to cheat?"

"What? Laufey?" Loki gave a short, clipped laugh as he buckled in, "Of course he will."

Thor frowned, "You seem awfully cheerful about it."

Loki tapped the touch screen of the sat nav, bringing up the first part of the route and grinned, "That's what you've got me for."

"Loki..."

"Don't worry," he leaned back and signaled Heimdall that they were ready to roll, "you do your thing and I'll do mine."

\---

White smoke curled up from the spinning tires as both drivers let their engines roar, flexing their muscles made of carbon, steel, and gasoline.

There was no starter's flag, no lights, barely any warning - just Heimdall and a wave of his hand. And then the world stood still as they overtook it in 4.6 seconds flat.

\---

The first half of the route was Laufey's and he knew how to use it to his advantage. He set his spiked ass in front of them moments before the first turn. Thor cursed, skidding around the corner almost parallel to Laufey.

Alright, so their start could have been better. But nothing was lost just yet.

Thor practically glued their nose to Laufey's rear bumper, letting the larger car drag them along in its slipstream. The V8 howled like a bat out of hell, biting into third gear, fourth, fifth and back. Brake, repeat. One, two turns - not yet, _not yet_.

"Let him have this one." Loki warned before Thor could squeeze between Laufey and a lamp post, "Next turn is the ramp to the highway."

Thor nodded grimly and Loki smiled as the wide swing of the ramp came into view. "Take him."

The beauty of this stretch of road was that it started out all straight and then wound into a right-hand turn that was close to ninety degrees, but it was long and broad enough for one of Thor's favourite manoeuvres. They called it the Scandinavian Flick. Loki called it _Kiss My Ass_.

Traffic lights blinked overhead, desperately reminding them to slow down. Thor shifted up. They both grinned when Laufey stayed on the right lane as expected.

Thor accelerated until they were level with Laufey. Loki couldn't resist and gleefully waved as Thor steered slightly to the left and then flicked the wheel back into the turn, sending them into a drift parallel to the highway. Quick release of the throttle, some counter-steering and just like a glove they fitted themselves right in front of Laufey's nose.

Their bumpers probably missed each other by a hair's breadth.

"Nicely done." Loki commended, smirking at Laufey's tantrum in the rearview mirror. Thor's smile matched Loki's in well-earned satisfaction.

For the moment they were in charge. The Volkswagen weaved through the night traffic like a needle through cloth with Laufey's wild boar of a car following suit.

Loki eyed the map on the sat nav. The railroad crossing was a good two miles away so this could still go either way. He checked his watch.

"Is this all you've got or should I get out and push?"

Thor laughed and flipped the first NOS switch.

Steering with an added bonus of 200 horsepower was far from easy but that was the advantage of highways - they were built for speed and traffic was hardly an issue at this time of the day.

Laufey's car shrank into the distance and Loki was a little bit disappointed. But then it charged forward again and was back in their mirrors with a vengeance. Thor did his best to keep Laufey from overtaking them, using the occasional traffic to block Laufey but their exit was coming up and eventually they had to slow down. Unless they wanted to end the race early and in a wall.

With the exception of the wall option it was all the same to Loki. Regardless of who lost tonight Loki would be on the winning side.

Thor hit the brakes and darted into the exit lane before Laufey. The lane opened up into a broad road that led out of town in the distance. They rushed past warehouses, parking lots, and manufacturing plants. Loki could already see the railroad crossing looming ahead. It wasn't large; no automatic gate since the tracks were only used for the occasional freight liner. Plus, the road itself wasn't known for its rush hour traffic either.

It was perfect and in about half a minute this race would be over - one way or another.

Stalling a train was easier than one would think. All you needed was an impressionable clerk who had a knack for strippers who were not his wife. Blackmail was an ugly word so Loki preferred to think of it as free of charge family counseling in return for a small favor.

Four minutes of delay - which should be putting the 12:03 on this exact railroad crossing right about now.

The lights of the freight train were already visible to their right when Loki glanced at the rearview mirror. The paved street had given way to gravel but Laufey was still hot on their heels. Sadly, he was too far behind to make it past them before the crossing.

Alright, so plan B it was.

"Thor...," Loki nodded towards the quickly advancing train, "Thor, you are seeing what I'm seeing, yes?"

There were facial expressions that launched armies - and then there were those that made armies run and hide. Thor had the latter down pretty well.

"The train-"

"I know!" Thor growled and his finger hovered over the second NOS switch, "I'm not going to surrender."

Loki shot his brother a concerned look. Thor was taking this a tad too far. His plan didn’t account for ending up as a collection of blood spatter on the windshield of a train so he tried again, "Thor, you need to slow down. We're not going to make-"

The second NOS tank engaged with an oddly calm click before catapulting them forward and reducing everything to blurred lines and senseless shapes. Loki lost sight of Laufey but it didn't matter anyway. As soon as the train blocked the way Laufey was done.

Stupid, stubborn Thor who held grudges like fucking badges of honor. Loki was going to have to give his plan some major adjustments.

The car wobbled dangerously as they passed the tracks, the headlights of the train illuminating the interior for a second like the proverbial light at the end of the tunnel and a moment later they were on the other side of the crossing.

And then something went _boom_.

Loki caught a glimpse of the train in the mirrors and of Laufey's car as it got reduced to an accordion of metal and rubber.

"Shit." Loki whispered in horror as Thor forced the Volkswagen around. The brakes of the train screeched but it was too late. Laufey's car had been flung from the tracks like a battered boomerang.

Thor was out of the driver's seat before Loki could stop him and hurried towards the wreck, probably in an attempt to help. Annoying, dashing Thor with his savior delusions. Loki could see from here that there was nothing-

And then it exploded.

The force of the fireball that ripped the wreck apart threw Thor back into the dirt while Loki ducked behind the car. When they both scrambled back up Laufey's car was a little piece of Hell - bent, broken, and engulfed by raging fire that was conveniently fuelled by gasoline and NOS. The man himself was sitting on the ground a few car lengths away, bruised and dirty but apparently mostly uninjured. He must have been tossed out of the car as it got hit.

There was no trace of Laufey's passenger though.

"Oh fuck." Loki breathed as he realized that things had gotten infinitely worse all of a sudden. Then he made a dash for Thor who was striding over to Laufey to- well, whatever it was Thor was trying to do Laufey would have none of it. He would have punched Thor in the face if he had still had the coordination for it, Loki suspected. But in his current state he merely shoved Thor away, calling him a murderer.

That made Thor freeze like barely anything Loki had ever seen.

"But I-," Thor's wide-eyed gaze travelled back and forth between a furious Laufey and the burning wreck, "I couldn't have-"

"Brother, we have to go." Loki implored, bringing his arm around Thor's chest to try and drag him back to the car. There were not many spectators along this part of the route but the explosion had certainly gotten them enough attention to call the police onto the plan. He could already hear the sirens in the distance.

"But we have to-"

"No," Loki leaned in close, using his body as best as he could to push Thor in the right direction, "there is _nothing_ you can do. We have to leave, brother."

Thor stubbornly tugged at Loki's sleeve and dug his heels into the ground, "We have to help, Loki. We have to... we have to do _something_."

Meanwhile, some of Laufey's minions had arrived and were hurrying towards their leader like army ants rushing to the rescue. Laufey himself was staring daggers at them.

"He doesn't _want_ our help, Thor," Loki pleaded, "he won't wait around for the police either. Neither should we. Unless you want to explain to them what just happened?"

Thor gave him a blank look and wouldn't move.

"Thor," Loki insisted, catching his brother's face between his hands and making sure Thor was listening, "brother, _please_. _Think_. You can't do anything here and getting arrested will serve no one. So, please, for one second stop and think about _us_. Think about Sif, the Three, _me_."

Thor finally gave a short nod and Loki let out a relieved breath. They tore themselves away from the scene and hurried back to their car. Laufey's gang was already dispersing too, having successfully wrestled their leader into one of their vehicles.

The glow of the fire followed them for a long time in their rearview mirror as Thor drove them back home.


	12. Ricochet

Thor always had something to say. It mattered little if it was important, relevant or even remotely intelligent. Loki had gotten used to it so when Thor silently walked up the stairs in their house without so much as acknowledging the others it was cause for worry.

"What-," Sif began but Loki shook his head no, begging the others to stay behind while he followed Thor upstairs.

Nobody knew how to deal with a depressed Thor. Up until now Loki had thought Thor was physically incapable of being sad.

"Brother?" Loki tentatively stepped into the room where he found Thor's precious leather jacket carelessly thrown to the floor. It had been a present from Frigga and Loki knew things were bad when his brother failed to treat it with the usual care.

He picked it up and laid it on the bed because, well, because his shell wasn't as hard as he liked to believe.

"Thor?" He asked again when his brother refused to turn around, "It wasn't your fault."

True. Technically, it was Loki's fault. If only Thor had slowed down. If only Thor hadn't been such a reckless little-

Alright, maybe it _was_ Thor's fault. A little bit. Maybe Loki had helped. A little. Odinson co-productions had always been a surefire way to create maximum chaos.

Thor gave a snort that was too close to a choked sob for Loki's comfort and didn't say anything else. He was clutching the window pane as if he had to hold the whole house together by it.

Loki slowly walked up to his brother, lightly resting his hand on Thor's broad shoulder, "You couldn't have known that Laufey would-"

"Could have been us."

Loki frowned in confusion, "Sorry, what?"

Thor half-turned and shrugged. It was a sad little movement, so openly helpless that Loki's hand slipped from Thor's arm in shock.

"The ones in that wreck," Thor said, too quiet for Loki to handle, "could have been us. Could have been _you_."

"Don't tell me you would actually miss me." It was supposed to be a joke. Not to Thor though. Not tonight.

Thor's hand was heavy on Loki's shoulder and before anything could really register he was dragged into an embrace that left Loki gasping for air. This was unexpected. Loki knew Thor could be horribly touchy-feely at times but most of these bouts of bodily affection happened in close vicinity to alcohol or in their bedrooms so this was new.

"More than words can express." Thor whispered and Loki gave up. He had nothing to counter with. Despite all his wits he stood speechless before his idiot of a brother who couldn't string more than five words together but somehow, miraculously managed to find the ones that mattered.

Stupid, gut-wrenchingly honest Thor.

Loki wished the bane of his existence wasn't so damn likeable. It would have made it infinitely easier to just shake Thor off and leave. But instead his fingers twisted in the fabric of Thor's shirt and he sighed because there wasn't much he could do. Thor was a living, breathing moral compass and while Loki didn’t follow it most of the time it was still good to know which way it was pointing.

Meanwhile, some noise from downstairs indicated that the rest of their team had discovered the remains of the Jägermeister stash.

"Really?" Loki sagged against Thor and shook his head in exasperation. The general philosophy of their entourage was that if celebrating was out of the question they might as well drink out of sheer desperation. Any excuse was good enough.

"Wait," Thor clutched Loki's arm when he tried to move away, "stay. Please."

Loki chuckled, "What are you? Four?"

"Do you have to make a mockery out of everything?"

"It's what I do." Loki gave a shrug, "You should know."

Thor smiled and it was one of those private little things that never made it out of the intimacy of a shared bed, "I do. Offer still stands."

Loki considered his options. He could either venture into the kitchen where he would undoubtedly be confronted with Volstagg and a mug (yes, a mug because Volstagg considered shot glasses an affront to his appetite) of Jägermeister or remain here with Thor and get a good night's sleep.

He pushed the door closed with his foot, effectively shutting out the world.

\---

The next morning Loki woke blissfully hangover-free but with Thor's arm around him. The man exhibited remarkable strength even when he was just dozing.

"Thor," Loki grumbled and shoved at his brother's arm, "Thor, let go."

The big oaf only gave a semi-human grunt and pulled Loki closer.

Loki heaved a sigh and brought out his secret weapon, "Thor, I need to pee. Unless you want me to do it in your bed I-"

The arm was removed with astounding speed.

"Thought so." Loki scrambled up and wrestled into the first shirt he could find. It was about two sizes too big for him but that only meant he could wrap it around his torso like a bathrobe. He did have a bathrobe... _somewhere_ but he couldn't be bothered to look for it.

And so he slouched downstairs in Thor's pajama pants that were held up by little more than sheer will power and Thor's ridiculous, striped shirt. A look at the clock in the kitchen told him it was not even seven in the morning yet, so the chances of anyone seeing him like this were slim anyway.

He stabbed at the buttons of the coffee machine and searched through the cupboards and the fridge while the machine was heating up. Last night's depression drink session had left its marks on the kitchen. There were glasses strewn everywhere, some still half-full which was surprising but Loki figured even Volstagg had to go to bed at some point.

Loki rubbed the bridge of his nose and squinted at the mess. He was so not going to clean this up, no sir.

The coffee machine beeped and Loki's search for his coffee mug began. He had lost count of how many times he had told the others to keep their thieving little fingers off his mug but would they listen? No. He had even superglued all the Vodka bottles to the cupboard in retaliation once but the day after the cupboard had been gone and in its stead Loki had found a post-it note that read _'Nice try, little one.'_.

He was going to have to think of something else. Until then he would have to hide his mug in the potted plants outside.

He cursed under his breath when he discovered his mug amidst the chaos on the coffee table in the living room. It smelled of so many brands of alcohol that Loki was pretty certain you could get high from the stench alone. It was almost as bad as the smell that evaporated from the bottle he fished out from under the sink. Things like this should have been outlawed.

That was it. He dropped his mug into the dishwasher, grabbled for an acceptable substitute and shoved it under the nozzle of the coffee machine. He waddled outside while the machine clicked and whirred to retrieve the morning paper from their lawn because the idiot of a paper delivery boy couldn't have hit the porch if it were the size of a stadium.

He crouched down to pluck it from the wet grass when a couple of car doors creaked and more people than had any right to be up at this hour spilled onto their lawn.

Loki looked up and immediately regretted it.

"Oh no-," was all he could get out before Laufey pulled the trigger and pain exploded in his shoulder.

\---

The force of the impact sent Loki toppling over backwards and he was pretty sure he'd lost a couple of seconds because the next thing he knew was Laufey standing over him like the proverbial god of wrath. Then he leaned down and clasped Loki's injured shoulder which resulted in the single most painful experience of Loki's life.

Loki gave a gargled scream and tried to wriggle out of Laufey's grasp but it only intensified the sensation of having his arm slowly severed with a dull knife.

"If your brother wants a war he shall have it." Laufey snarled, barely loud enough for Loki to hear, "And tell him next time I'll aim for your heart. If you have one."

He let go and for a precious moment Loki thought it had all been a terrible dream but then the nerve endings in his shoulder fired up all at once. Laufey was a blurry figure disappearing through the watery curtain of tears that Loki was powerless against.

Now, Loki wasn't entirely sure what had gone wrong but the fact that he was bleeding out on his front lawn suggested that it was major.


	13. Knockout

When Loki blinked his eyes open he was greeted by several familiar yet concerned faces and a fuzzy view of the kitchen ceiling.

"This is not a hospital." Loki concluded between heavy breaths and twisting his head around to see where he was. "This is-... this is my kitchen! Why am I in my kitchen?"

"You were shot.” Sif explained as if this was news. She was fiddling with something beside him on the - _oh fuck no_ , was he lying on the kitchen table? They _ate_ on there.

"Yes!" Loki yelled because he had lost all control over his vocal cords at this point. "That's why I said 'hospital' not the fucking _argh!_ "

"Keep still." Sif demanded and produced the second most excruciating experience in Loki's life by shoving something into the wound that was definitely not supposed to go there.

He struggled. He wasn't sure against whom or what but it mattered little to him as long as the pain stopped. Something was holding him down and he started to punch it as best as he could. It turned out to be Volstagg who was not even mildly impressed.

Fandral's face swam into view. "You were _shot_. If we brought you to a hospital they would ask questions."

"And you couldn't make up a story?" Loki gasped, yanking his arm free and shoving Sif's hand aside to keep her from doing any more damage, "Do I have to do everything myself?"

"Oh, shut up. Can you _please_ hold him still?" Sif ordered. The last part was obviously not directed at him and as a second set of strong hands pinned Loki to the table he began to wonder if he had any say in this at all.

"Here, drink this." A bottle was forced between his lips.

"Bah!" Loki sputtered and punched Volstagg in the arm, "What is that?"

Volstagg gave the bottle a thoughtful look and shrugged, "Found it under the sink."

"Oh _Gods_."

Something hurried past in the periphery of Loki's vision. It looked like a pissed-off version of Thor who was about to do something incredibly stupid.

"No! No, don't!" Loki tried to scramble off the table but Hogun and Volstagg were combining their efforts to keep him where he was, "Don't let him leave! Don't- _Fuck! Will you stop that already?_ "

Sif only raised an eyebrow at him and continued to test out Loki's threshold for pain. She probably thought she was cleaning out the wound but Loki had serious doubts about her proficiency as a nurse.

Meanwhile, Fandral had sprinted after Thor and was dragging him back into the kitchen.

"Let go of me!" Thor bellowed, wrestling free from Fandral's grip, "Nobody hurts my little brother and gets to live to tell the tale. No one!"

"No, no, no." It was all that seemed to come out of Loki's mouth as he alternated between grabbing for Thor and swatting Sif's hands away, "You can't. Everyone, tell him he can't. Thor, you mustn't do anything rash."

Suddenly Thor's firm grasp warmed Loki's hand. "I can't let this slide, brother."

"Oh no, you can," Loki hissed through gritted teeth and pulled Thor closer, "and you will because if you go out there and do something idiotic you will start a war. And we can't have that."

"Loki-"

"No!" Loki's fingers dug into the leather of Thor's jacket because he desperately needed his brother to understand, "We need a _plan_. You can't just storm in there like that. We have to think about this. And we'll do that as soon as I'm not bleeding out on the kitchen table anymore. Okay?"

Thor sighed and Loki pulled at his sleeve again, " _Okay?_ "

"Okay." Thor said eventually, averting his gaze.

"Promise me you'll stay here." Loki was babbling but he couldn't get his mouth to stop. It was his very personal way of dealing with Sif's repeated efforts of trying to make him pass out. Also, he really needed to hear his brother say it. Once Thor promised something he kept it. You could say whatever you wanted about Thor but he took promises very seriously.

"You have my word." Thor said and smiled. Loki wasn't sure if his senses were going haywire or if it was indeed the most soothing thing he had ever seen. Thor's fingers tightened around his and Loki actually found himself relaxing - much to Sif's enjoyment apparently.

She waved something in front of his face that looked an awful lot like barbecue equipment and presented Loki with a frown, "The bullet's still in there. I have to get it out."

Loki stared at the tweezers of unknown origin and wildly motioned for Volstagg, "Where's that bottle?"

"I thought you-"

"I've decided I don't care." Loki grabbed the bottle and pointed it rather unsteadily at Sif, "I need to be drunk for this."

He took several generous gulps of what could be described as sewage water laced with acid, tipped off with a dash of insecticide, and grimaced as he shoved the bottle back at Volstagg.

"Ready?" Sif asked.

"No."

"Alright," she concluded and shoved a wooden spoon between his teeth, “Here. Bite on this.”

And then Loki corrected his list of most agonizing events in his life, putting this at number one with quite a head start. He couldn't tell if he was screaming or if he just thought about screaming or if the rest of his body was even still _there_ but shortly before he fell unconscious he sensed Thor's hand almost crushing his, holding on for dear life. Or maybe it was the other way around, it was hard to say with his entire body trying to curl in on itself.

Whichever way, it was oddly comforting.


	14. Good Morning, Sunshine

The first thing Loki became aware of when his mind started working again was the distinct feeling of not being alone - which was strange. He had assumed that death would be a lonesome affair.

But apparently it wasn't. In fact, he might have been wrong about being dead altogether because he seemed to be in his room, in his own bed and somehow that was not what he associated with afterlife.

He squinted against the light pouring in through the window and groaned. Then he turned his head and groaned some more.

Thor was propped up on one elbow, smiling, "Hello, brother."

Loki giggled and then frowned. He didn't _giggle_. That was below him. But he couldn't stop.

"You're still here," he heard himself say with what must have been the stupidest grin in the history of facial expressions and patted Thor's stubbly cheek, "that's good."

Somehow everything was... _fluffy_. And he felt like the very air was tickling him. He didn't particularly feel like he had been shot.

"I think we may have given you too many painkillers." Thor laughed and ruffled his hair which Loki disapproved of but didn’t have the hand-eye coordination to prevent.

Loki grinned and waved an unsteady finger under Thor's nose, "There is no such thing as too many painkillers."

He should have gone into advertising because that would have been a damned good slogan for pharmaceutics.

Thor caught his hand and held it for a moment before tucking it back under the blanket, "We'll see. Now get some rest."

"What are you? A doctor?" Loki wriggled around, freeing his uninjured arm and gesturing vividly, "You are no doctor. You are a- gods, I want a cupcake."

"What?" Thor's rumbling laughter filled the room not unlike the light - what was it? Morning? Afternoon? Did it really matter?

"You know," Loki wiggled his hand, "cupcakes."

"I know what cupcakes are, Loki."

"Then why are you asking?"

"I-," Thor stopped and the smile was back. The one that Loki hated because it made him feel like he was seven years old. Literally. When Loki was seven he'd crashed his bike and there had been a huge hubbub about it. Apparently it was frowned upon in the Odinson household to use a brand new bicycle as an escape vehicle in a series of daring shoplifts from the local candy store.

That night Thor had snuck into Loki's room and he'd smiled the exact same smile while giving Loki the most awkward lecture a ten-year-old was capable of. Then he had run his hand through Loki's hair and had told him not to get caught next time.

This specific memory spoke volumes about how every time something went wrong in Loki's life Thor seemed to be there.

“What?” Loki grumbled when Thor refused to go on.

"It doesn't matter. Try to get some more sleep," Thor eventually decided and tried to work the blanket back over Loki's shoulders, but Loki batted his hands away.

"No," Loki spat, "it does matter. Because it's _you_. It's always you."

Thor ceased his attempts to wrestle his brother down and instead looked confused, "Loki, what are you talking ab-"

"This is your fault." It just spilled out of him. The painkillers were the proverbial pebble that started the landslide. Of course, he could - and _would_ \- blame it all on the drugs, but in the end it was still him saying it. If there had been any way to stop himself he would have done it but thinking was difficult. "All of this is your fault. It was going so nicely. I was making _progress_ and I wouldn't even have had to go to such lengths if I wasn't stuck in the backseat of my own damned life."

"Loki, I think those drugs may have been a bit too strong," Thor said with a frown but Loki's brain had opened all the flood gates and now he just blurted out whatever came to his mind.

"Don't treat me like a child." Loki slapped Thor's arm which was the only thing within reach at the moment, "I could have done it and now everything is going down the drain."

"What is going down the drain?" Thor sighed, "Loki, you are high."

"Maybe," Loki conceded and blinked because the room was beginning to blur, "but that's irrelevant. I was doing _fine_ , 's what I'm saying. I almost had the money together and then shit... happened and everything is-"

He was having trouble keeping his eyes open but there was something he wanted to say, something he _needed_ to say but he couldn’t quite remember. Thinking shouldn’t have been this hard.

"-is... is... cupcakes." He concluded.

"What?" Thor sounded panicked and Loki thought it was hilarious because he’d had no idea cupcakes were so alarming, "Loki, what do you mean by 'you had the money together'? What is going on?"

Loki chuckled. He was so unbelievably tired and yet he felt like he was strapped into a carousel that was out of control. He was floating somewhere between maniacal happiness and dread and the vague feeling of getting sick at any minute. And all the while Thor kept rambling at him. The last thing Loki heard before he fell asleep was Thor's hushed voice.

"Loki, what have you done?"


	15. Truth Makes The Liar

When Loki wandered down the stairs the house was eerily quiet. He had been drifting in and out of consciousness for several days but there had always been something going on. It had either been Sif checking on his wound and redoing the bandages or Fandral and Volstagg trying to keep him up to date in a sort of double act that left most of Loki's room in ruins.

Hogun had dropped off books and magazines every now and then but he wasn't exactly a conversationalist. So, Loki had spent his days either reading or sleeping or wondering why Thor was suspiciously absent.

Today Loki encountered his brother in the kitchen which could mean one of two things. Thor only rummaged around in the kitchen when he was extremely pissed off or tremendously happy. There was no in between. Judging by the tautness in Thor's shoulders Loki put his money on the former.

"Where is everyone?" Loki ventured cautiously.

"I sent them all to the shop." Thor replied without turning around. And if that hadn't already tipped Loki off his tone of voice would have. He sounded like he was holding on to his patience with his teeth.

Loki nodded and took it as a cue to make himself scarce. No witnesses meant trouble.

He was halfway back to the stairs when Thor spoke up, "I know what you did, brother."

Alright, maybe trouble was an understatement.

Nevertheless, Loki paused because that was what you did when Thor was having his responsible five minutes. Loki also feared Thor might come after him and drag him back.

"I don't know what you mean," Loki said in his best attempt at innocence.

The dishcloth that Thor had casually thrown over his shoulder landed on the counter in a sharp slap. He finally turned around and Loki knew this was going to hurt.

"Don't play dumb with me, brother. Not this time."

Loki was still Loki so he tried to steer the conversation with a fake smile and a confused shrug, "Honestly, Thor, I don't understand-"

"I know about your scheme." Thor cut him off. He looked like someone who was holding their hand into the flame to see when it would start to sting, "Your scheme to take over Asgard Motors behind my back. How could you do this to me?"

While Loki's mind was racing to figure out how Thor could possibly know about this, one little detail elbowed its way onto the main stage of Loki's consciousness. How could he do this to _Thor_? Seriously? Try leading a life in the knowledge that you could never have what the person right next to you had. And add the fact that said person was pretty much the core of everything that was both right and wrong with your life.

That was how.

"Excuse me?" Loki snarled, stepping closer so that the only thing that kept him from strangling Thor was the kitchen table, "How could _I_ do this to _you_? Are you fucking kidding me?"

"Oh, believe me, I wish I were." Thor was leaning heavily onto the backrest of one of the chairs. His knuckles were slowly turning white as the wood creaked under his fingers. "You've been pulling heists behind my back for _months_. And how about that bank account that you've been keeping secret from me all this time? Does this sound like a joke to you?"

Loki gave a short, clipped laugh that bore about the same amount of humor as an avalanche, "Well, that's precious. Look who suddenly cares. Who told you about this anyway?"

Thor's smile was grim when he answered, "You were very talkative after you were shot. Jane did the rest."

Oh. _Jane_. The mere mention of her name was like fuel to the fire for Loki. Traitorous little minx.

"Did she now?" Loki raised his eyebrows in mock surprise. Razor blades had nothing on his tone.

"Don't make this about her." Thor slammed his fist on the table and Loki could have sworn the tectonic plate they were standing on was quivering, "This is between you and me."

"Is it?" Loki bared his teeth because God help him it was on now, "Well, then let me tell you something. Just between _you and me_. I am sick and tired of living in your shadow. I have spent my entire life being treated like an extension of you, like I am nothing more than a mongrel trailing after you that you so graciously took care of. I am _done_ with picking up your scraps."

"Loki, nobody ever treated you like you were anything less than my brother." Thor argued.

"Exactly." Loki hissed, his fingernails digging into the tabletop, "Odin and you were doing a fine job at showing me where my place was. And that was always, _always_ one step behind you. On the sidelines. And don't pretend for one moment you would have it any other way."

"None of us ever intended to make you feel inferior." Thor's expression was open and desperate. It only made Loki's grin fiercer. "You never said a word. Why didn't you say anything?"

Thor seemed distraught which Loki couldn't deny was more satisfying than punching him in the face. He dug his metaphorical claws deeper because there was no turning back now - if he did it would feel like just another loss.

"I did! Every damned day of my life I tried to be better, work a little bit harder but you, you and the old man, you were _blind_ because all he really cared about was you and you only ever cared about yourself. Nothing I ever did was good enough. _I_ wasn’t good enough."

Loki might as well have taken a knife to Thor's heart and he was well aware of it. He reveled in it because it was finally out in the open. Finally, Loki could shove Thor's face into the ugly compost heap of pent-up emotions and disappointment that his life had become.

"I never-," Thor began but Loki's sudden laughter stopped him in mid-sentence.

"Of course you never noticed." Loki was sure his grin was bordering on hysterical, "Because you never listened. You look at me but you never _see_. You could have. You were the _only one_ who could have but you chose to be ignorant and foolish and just like the others."

And there it was. The twist of the blade, the last push that made the mighty Thor stumble and fall.

"All I ever wanted was to be your equal." Loki said, bitterness surrounding every word like snow covered mountains.

"But you _are_ ," Thor was pleading but Loki was deaf to anything except the rush of watching his brother crumble, "you've always been."

"Don't make me laugh," Loki retorted, "all I've ever been was convenient and you fucking know it."

"No," Thor replied firmly, "never that."

"So what else?" Loki threw his hands up, "What have I been to you besides convenient? A shoulder to lean on? A pleasant body to warm your bed? Sure. But you sure as hell didn't want me to be more than that. Because that would have dimmed your glory, wouldn't it?"

Thor straightened up. It was like watching a lion getting ready to roar, "You are forgetting yourself, brother. I never took you to bed out of anything but love."

"Really?" Loki bit out, "You love me? How quaint."

"Don't mock me, Loki," Thor warned. This whole thing was five seconds from exploding and becoming irreparable.

"I am not!" Loki yelled because he felt like he was talking to a freaking wall and if he couldn't stab it he might as well ram a bulldozer through it, "I believe you. But you can love me as much as you want, it's worthless if you don't respect me."

 _Boom, you're dead_. If only; because now Loki had to watch something in Thor's eyes harden and the cardboard house of their relationship swayed in the aftermath.

"Get out." Thor growled like nothing Loki had ever heard before.

And Loki matched him for it, "Gladly."

Tit for tat - it always worked. Even with high stakes.

He turned on his heel, grabbed his jacket and his car keys, and left the smoldering ruins of the only thing he ever cared about behind.


	16. Slip And Slide

The thing about fall-outs was that the clean-up was often more painful than the actual event. Hours spent silently replaying it word for word in your head, going through all the things that should not have been said and everything that had been left out in the heat of the moment. Different wording, more, less, would it have made a difference?

And the worst part was you had to sift through the wreckage alone.

Night had squatted down on the city like an old lady in front of the TV and found Loki lounging on the hood of his battered Mustang, staring out across the sea of lights. They hadn't had time to repair his car yet but he thought it was fitting in a way. It represented the current state of his life - ugly and dented in places but still up and running.

There were still things to do. Like finding out about this elusive buyer of his who remained to be a potential threat. Loki had no idea how to go about it yet, but the way he saw it he had plenty of time to devise a plan now.

The truth was that he did regret throwing Thor's affection back into his face. It was like kicking a puppy. You just couldn't help hating yourself for it. But the idea of slinking back like a dog with his tail between his legs went against all of Loki's principles. There weren't all that many but pride was definitely right there in the top three.

He pulled his jacket tighter around himself as the chill of the evening slowly crept under his clothes. His shoulder was throbbing like mad too. He needed to change the bandages soon.

Shit, he should have packed a bag before leaving. He should have packed a bag long before today but something in Loki had always desperately hoped for things to get better. Perhaps that was a side-effect of living under one roof with Thor. The man spread hope and indestructible faith like a bloody disease.

The sound of a car coming up the hill tore him out of his musings. The parking lot was way outside the city limits and although the road was rarely used these days traffic wasn't entirely unexpected. Despite that Loki tensed as headlights flared up around the corner.

He couldn't make out type or model of the car but whatever it was it had seen better days. By the sound of it those days had been around 1970.

The vehicle rattled closer and eventually halted a courteous distance from him. It turned out to be a familiar bright blue van with a large number of pirate stickers strewn all over it like they had run into a Mexican sticker factory.

Loki rolled his eyes and returned his attention to the view of the city beneath him, hoping against all odds that the nuisance would go away if he ignored it diligently enough.

"Are you Loki?" The girl asked as she slowly walked up to him. It wasn't Jane, which surprised him a little. She was just as tiny though.

"Depends." Loki offered her an icy smile, "Which answer will make you leave me alone?"

She paused for a moment but then shrugged and came up to him regardless, "Nice to meet you too, Prince Charming. I'm Darcy."

 _Darcy_. The name rang a bell.

He looked her up and down and frowned, "You're one of Jane's friends, aren't you?"

She rocked on her heels, "Well, her assistant, actually. But close enough."

"How did you find me?"

"Thor said you might be up here." Darcy let her gaze sweep over the city and nodded, "Nice spot, by the way."

Loki did not feel like small-talk. He scowled at her, "Did my brother send you?"

"Nope. Jane sent me." She frowned for a second and then wiggled her hand, "Okay, not quite. We drew straws and I just have the worst luck."

Loki grimaced, "Thanks. Please tell me you're not here to cheer me up."

She smiled and there was enough wit in it that Loki considered liking her, "No. I came to give you this."

Darcy produced a large brown envelope and put it on the hood beside him. His eyes narrowed. His track record with these had been less than favorable so far and considering that it was coming from Jane it was safe to assume that he was not going to like what was inside.

When Darcy refused to leave or even say anything he sighed and opened it. A couple of documents poured out. The top sheet was a birth certificate with a name he didn’t recognize.

He held it up, arching an eyebrow in question, “Are you sure you brought me the right package? Because I don’t know who that is.”

“That’s funny because,” she tapped the paper, “that’s you.”

Loki just stared blankly at her. He was beginning to suspect Darcy was _the crazy friend_.

She sighed dramatically, “Have a look at the rest of it.”

And so he did but it was only marginally helpful. The birth certificate held the mother’s name but not the father’s which meant nothing to Loki either way. There was also a police report; short, clipped, rather unconstrained on the grammar side but what Loki got was that it was about the same woman who died in a car crash. The police had ruled it an accident but the post-it note stuck to the paper read _BULLSHIT_ in big black letters.

Darcy smiled sheepishly and quickly snatched the note, “Ah, yeah. That was me. Sorry. I just... I think better when I write it down.”

Loki figured it was best just to roll with it so he kept on flicking through the files. Various pictures tumbled into his lap, all of them showing the woman in question. He was about to ask Darcy why he was looking at somebody else’s family album when he stumbled upon a frighteningly familiar face in one of the photographs.

_Laufey._

And she had clearly been pregnant at that time. It didn’t take a genius to know where this was going.

Loki dropped the files onto the hood of the Mustang, fanning them out and staring at them with frantic eyes, “Laufey... You want to tell me Laufey is... is my...”

He broke off and Darcy gave him just enough time to swallow around the lump in his throat before she explained.

“Look, it’s not definitive.” She amended, “There isn’t exactly a continuous paper trail with your name on it. But the timeline is pretty conclusive.”

“ _Timeline_.” Loki echoed, breathless. He couldn’t believe what she was implying.

“Yeah, see, this picture,” she pried the photograph from his fingers to indicate the time stamp on the back, “was taken a month and a half before she died. She’s obviously still pregnant in this and, no offense, but for someone so lean you made for quite a baby bump. But there was no baby with her in the car so some time between this and the _accident_ -”, she made air quotes around the word, “- she gave birth to a son that mysteriously disappeared from the system.”

She sifted through the documents and Loki wanted nothing more than to slap her hands away. If she was right then this was _his life_ she was rummaging around in.

“So, she had her baby, refused to name the father at the clinic, and then went AWOL for a little while.” Darcy went on, undeterred by Loki’s ever darkening expression, “Until she was found dead in a sketchy car accident while pretty much around the same time the Odinsons applied for adopting you. You don’t think that’s a bit too much coincidence piling up?”

It was. And if anyone had learned not to take anything at face value it was Loki, but some things were just easier to process if you could blame it on chance.

“ _Laufey’s son_.” Loki mouthed, the notion foreign on his tongue. Well, he couldn’t deny a certain likeness to the leader of the Frost Giants but he had never given it any thought beyond hating the man’s guts.

“But-...,” he began slowly, his gaze still travelling over dates and facts that were making increasingly more sense, “but why didn’t he look for me? He must have known. He must have...”

Darcy scratched her head and shrugged, “I guess your mom tried to make it as hard as possible for him to get to you.”

“What, by leaving out his name on the birth certificate? I doubt that would have stopped him.”

“No.” She fiddled with one of the pictures, suddenly seeming a lot more serious, “By giving you up. We managed to track down some of her friends. They say she was pretty freaked. Seems like she had a good reason to be...”

Loki snorted, “And dropping me off like a bag of garbage was the only thing that came to her mind? Excuse me while I fail to be impressed.”

And then Darcy punched him in the arm, “Don’t knock it. She saved your life, okay? I seriously doubt it was coincidence that you ended up with the Odinsons. That’s about as far out of his reach as you can get, if you ask me.”

“Are you suggesting she planned this?” Loki grumbled as he massaged the sore spot and glared daggers at Darcy.

She gave another shrug, “Possibly. I reckon your mom should know. I mean the one that isn’t dead.”

Loki made a face but he had to admit Darcy had a point. There was a very uncomfortable mother-son talk looming ahead.

“How did you even find out about all of this?” Loki asked when he gathered the evidence to put it back into the envelope. He didn’t particularly like people poking around in his life so he at least wanted to know _why_ they were doing it.

“You know how we are currently doing this piece on street racing? Well, Laufey’s kind of a big deal in this community so we dug into his past and voilá,” she pointed at the pile of papers, “suddenly magic baby.”

Good to know that his entire existence could be reduced to the journalistic equivalent of a treasure hunt. How reassuring.

He ceased stuffing papers back into the envelope, hesitating, “Does-... does my brother know about this?”

Darcy shook her head, "No. We figured we should talk to you first. It's your baby mystery after all, not his."

Small blessings. At least this way it was up to Loki how to handle this. He nodded, wordlessly putting the envelope down and waiting for his head to stop spinning.

"Uhm," Darcy fidgeted, backing away slowly, "I suspect that's kind of a lot to digest so, uh, I'm gonna leave you to it, yes?"

Loki didn't react until she was already wrenching the car door open.

"Wait." It was fortunate to have a mind that was capable of multitasking - Loki could wonder about the circumstances of his birth _and_ cultivate new ideas both at the same time.

He looked over to where Darcy was standing, just inside the pool of light from the single street lamp, "Would you do me a favor?"

She squinted at him, "Will it get me into trouble?"

"Not if you do it right." If he'd been Thor he would have offered her an encouraging smile but he wasn't so a knowing grin was all he could give her.

She seemed to be okay with it.

"Alright." She shuffled over to him, "Not saying that I'll do it but, okay. Lay it on me."

Loki decided he liked Darcy better than her boss. Maybe because she didn't want to be here any more than he did. People had already bonded over stranger things.

"Can you find out who bought a specific burn phone?" It was a long shot but Loki had to try. If his suspicions turned out to be correct there would be hell to pay though.

She scratched her chin in contemplation and then shrugged, "In theory? Sure. But you'll have to be a little bit more specific. Got a number?"

"Yes. And a possible area where it might have been purchased."

Darcy narrowed her eyes at him as if she was trying to determine if he was playing with her or not.

Eventually, she nodded, "Okay. I'll do it. I like challenges. And it beats internet research," she added almost gleefully. "Okay, what's the number?" She whipped out her phone, ready to type while Loki fished for his own burn phone. He'd kept it - just in case. He could always ditch it later but for now it was a good source of information. He highlighted the number and held it out for Darcy to read.

"Got it," she announced and casually leaned her elbows on the hood of the Mustang, "so where do you reckon they bought it?"

"I assume you have come across the name ‘Frost Giants’ in your research?"

"You’re kidding, right?" She whined in a way that indicated she would have preferred not to. Loki could relate.

"Sadly, no."

"If you know that already why don't you go and check it out yourself?" She waved her phone in the general direction of the city.

"Because if I did it would tip off the wrong people."

Darcy's eyebrows shot up, "And you think it's better if _we_ tip them off?"

"If you put it like that... yes."

She clearly meant to say something but didn't. Instead she concentrated on her screen and then heaved a sigh, "Well, at least you're being honest."

Loki snorted, "Yeah, occasionally I am. You've been talking to my brother, haven't you?"

"It was either that or going through all the traffic cam footage in the city," she explained while typing away on her phone, "your brother was quicker."

Loki couldn't argue with that. This was their secret spot after all. Back when Thor had gotten his license he'd taken Loki up here almost every weekend. For the most part they had just laid on the hood of Thor's old Plymouth and had guessed the makes of the cars on the road by the sound of their engines.

"So, you got any idea _when_ it was bought or do I have to go back all the way to the Stone Age?" Darcy's voice snapped him out of his reverie. He blinked at her and tried to remember when he'd gotten the first text message.

"About half a year ago, I guess."

Her face was a picture of pure misery, "Great. That'll definitely make it easier."

"If I had known that I would need it to track down a potential killer I would have kept a log. Sorry."

She glanced up and grinned, "Your brother wasn't lying when he said you were a sarcastic little shit."

"I doubt he said that."

"Why?"

"'Sarcastic' has more than two syllables." He looked at her and smiled, "It's okay. I won't tell him you laughed."

Which she promptly did. It felt good to have someone laugh at his jokes. Back home he usually got a lot of reprimanding glances and Thor's facial equivalent of _'Watch it or you're sleeping on the porch tonight.'_.

"Alright," Darcy finished up whatever she had written down and tapped her fingers onto the frame of Loki's car, "this is gonna take a while though. So, are you going home now or how do I reach you?"

Loki stiffened at the thought of going back. He hadn't planned on going back any time soon. Especially not in light of recent discoveries.

"Give me your phone," he said, holding out his hand, "please?"

"If you screw with the settings I swear I'm gonna key your car." She warned but handed it to him anyway.

Loki threw a quick look over his shoulder at the damaged driver's side and quirked an eyebrow at her.

"Okay," she conceded, "let me rethink that."

Loki laughed under his breath as he scrolled through the menu. Darcy was surprisingly easy to be around which was disturbing in its own way because Loki hardly ever found it easy to be around _anyone_. Except for Thor but he obviously had different issues with his brother.

"What are you doing?" Darcy tiptoed closer and peered at the screen, "Oh. _Oh_. You're giving me your number?"

"Kind of hard to reach me otherwise, don't you think?"

"Yeah, I just..."

He saved his number and gave the phone back, "What?"

"Nothing," she slid it into her pocket and grinned, "I just thought it would be harder to get your number."

Loki had no idea what to make of this so he simply frowned.

"Okay, Charming," she announced, "I'll get back to you when I know something."

Loki nodded and chose not to comment on the nickname he was probably never going to get rid of. When you wanted someone to do something for you there were certain things you just had to let slide.

"Oh," Darcy spun around before getting back into the bright blue accident-in-waiting, "and in case it cheers you up: your brother's pretty broken up about you leaving and all."

Frankly, it didn't but Loki smiled anyway.

\---

Loki spent the rest of the night at a dingy motel because it was all he could afford with the cash he had in his pockets. He didn’t want to use his credit card - not that Thor knew how to track it but other people might. And Loki didn’t want to run into those any more than he wanted to see Thor.

He might as well have saved himself the trouble because he didn’t sleep at all.

 _Laufey’s son._ These two words circled in his mind like ships caught in a maelstrom. He repeatedly went over the data Darcy had given him, tried to reason it away but found it impossible. She hadn’t lied. Everything fit.

He stared at the picture of the woman who was supposedly his mother for a good half an hour but if he expected to develop feelings for her he was thoroughly mistaken. Neither did he have any for Laufey but then again his so-called mother had never shot him in the shoulder.

In the end he fell back on the scattered documents on top of the bed sheets and decided there was only one point to start figuring this out - old man Odinson. He couldn’t ask the man himself but he could do the next best thing.


	17. Bow Down

It was early morning the next day when Loki rang the bell at Frigga's door. She still lived in the house that the old man had built with his very own hands. It required repair work every other week, which Thor was most happy to provide while Loki was perpetually doomed to hold the paint bucket or the wrench or sort through the wires to keep Thor from electrocuting himself.

It was odd coming here alone and with nothing but heavy-handed questions, but he had to do this.

Frigga sighed with something akin to relief when she opened the door and dragged him inside with the force of her hug, "Loki, oh dear, we were so worried about you."

Loki stifled his pained groan and gently disentangled himself from her, "You talked to Thor?"

"Well, of course I did." She ushered him into the living room and ordered him to sit down with a wave of her hand. Her brand of authority was a tad friendlier than the old man's but it was authority nonetheless. "He called last night to ask whether you had stopped by. Tea?"

Loki slumped down on one of the chairs while she bustled off into the kitchen. It didn't matter if he wanted tea or not - he was going to get some. She used to put honey and lemon into Loki's tea when he was sick as a child. Oddly enough, it had helped.

He could hear her rummaging around in the kitchen. There was no pleasant way to start this conversation so Loki just blurted it out without preamble. Better to cut off the festering limb in one swift motion before it started to infect the rest of the body.

"I'm Laufey's son." He held his breath for a moment as the sounds from the kitchen ceased. He was surprised not to hear anything break.

Frigga slowly came around the corner, giving him the same look doctors tended to offer terminally ill patients. Not very confidence-inspiring.

"You knew, didn’t you?" He snapped, a bit sharper than he had intended to, "Did the old man know too?"

She twisted the kitchen towel that was still in her hands but didn't look away which spoke volumes about the strength of her character, "Yes."

Loki's heart dropped and he was up in an instant, riled and angry, "And in all those years you never thought to tell me?"

"We never wanted you to feel different." She was trying to reach out to him but he flinched away.

"I've felt different all my life," he hissed, "at least I would have known _why_."

"Oh, Loki, you-"

"Why did you take me in?" He cut her off, crudely so because his patience for platitudes was wearing thin, "If you knew why did you take me in in the first place?"

She shook her head as if Loki were five years old and refusing to understand why stomping on other people's sandcastles was wrong, "You were just a baby. And your mother was a friend. We couldn't possibly refuse her."

“A friend?” Loki stared at her with wide eyes, “You knew her?”

Frigga’s expression turned even more melancholy, “I did. We were not close but I knew her well enough to recognise the trouble she was in. So when she came to us that night how could we say no?”

"You could have given me away." Loki was pretty sure life in foster homes would have been a lot less easy-going but he couldn’t fathom why the Odinsons had even _cared_. They had already had a son who they were obviously quite happy with so why bother with a mongrel shoved at them over the doorstep?

"No." Frigga said firmly and Loki knew his accusations were hurting her. She was the wrong target but Loki had nobody else to aim his anger at and reining it in had ceased to be effective quite a while ago.

"Then why did you keep me?" He was desperate for an answer, any answer that would even remotely make sense of his life, "There has to be a reason. He never did anything without a reason, you said so yourself. _Tell me._ "

She hesitated but eventually stepped closer and Loki sensed she wanted to touch him, soothe his pain with a mother's embrace like she used to when he was a kid. But she didn't and Loki wasn't sure if he should be thankful for it or enraged.

"He had hoped that one day you might be able to help put an end to all this pointless fighting."

Loki laughed; it spilled out of him like overcooked milk on a hot stove, "So, I'm nothing more than a means to an end? Is that it? I'm a walking peace treaty?"

"No." Frigga finally put her hand over his and held it, not overly tight but the message was clear: The only way she was going to let go was if somebody cut off her arm. "You are our son. You are _my_ son. I can tell because it hurts-"

She pointed at her heart, "-right here when you talk like this."

It was unfair, Loki was perfectly aware of that. He was fighting shadows and Frigga just happened to be in the line of fire. But it was so hard to stop.

"Please, Loki, don't hold it against him," Frigga implored, quiet but insistent.

Loki only gave a derisive snort, "How can I not?"

"Because if you do you are holding it against me as well."

Damn. Frigga was everything but your ordinary housewife. She kept to the background most of the time but she knew exactly what to say and when.

Loki was helpless in the face of such arguments that made him look like a giant douchebag if he went against them. Frigga had always been good at these.

She pulled him into a hug, slow and careful. Loki just let it happened, resting his head against her shoulder while her fingers stroked through his hair like all those years ago when nightmares had kept him up, "You are our son and nothing will ever change that."

Something _had_ already changed if Frigga had to assure him of this but Loki didn't have the nerve to point it out. Besides, a very prominent character trait in the Odinson family was their stubbornness and Frigga was no exception.

And so he simply nodded and briefly returned her hug before kissing her cheek and slipping out of her embrace.

"Where are you going?" Frigga asked, arm outstretched as if to stop him.

"There are some... things I need to take care of." Loki avoided looking up.

He paused by the door, "Don't tell Thor I was here."

"Of course I'll tell him." Hands on her hips, concerned frown on her face, and a dash of scolding in her voice - that was Frigga as Loki knew her, "You're his _brother_."

Loki rolled his eyes because quite obviously _he wasn't_ but there was the trademark Odinson persistence again.

"Loki," she called out as he walked back to his car, "whatever it was that you two were fighting about, don't let it stand between you. It's not worth it."

That, Loki decided, depended on your point of view.

"Too little too late." Loki mumbled as he got into his car, waving Frigga good-bye. She might not have been his birth mother but she was the only mother he had ever known and he was pretty sure that everyone else paled compared to her. It was hard to admit that something you didn't want was the best thing you had.


	18. Show Of Hands

The problem with malicious glee was that it was only gratifying if the joke wasn't on you. When Loki let the Mustang roll up the driveway to their house three days later he had the distinct feeling that this wasn't a joke at all. This was a fucking Greek tragedy for all he knew.

He had barely pulled the key from the ignition when the lights on the porch flickered on. Of course Thor would know that he'd come back. Thor could have been trapped in the basement with sound-proof ear-muffs on and he would still have noticed.

Loki sighed as the door flew open and Thor stepped out. He didn't particularly feel like going for round two. Even more so because there were few things he could say that would sting more than what he'd already thrown into Thor's face the other day. He'd rammed the knife in and twisted it, now what was he supposed to do? Break off the hilt?

That would only leave him defenseless and Loki was never unarmed.

So, he steeled himself with frosty nonchalance and walked up to Thor who looked like he couldn't decide whether to hug or slap him. Neither of them said a word as they came face to face.

When they were kids they used to have staring contests which Thor always lost because Loki could wiggle his ears while remaining completely serious. It used to crack Thor up. Sadly, this was the kind of situation that no amount of comical facial contortions could ease.

"We have a problem." Loki said, hands on his hips and waiting for a response. He only got a wordless nod from Thor which was just as well.

They could sort out life-altering problems after they had dealt with the life-threatening ones.

\---

Twenty minutes later the war council had been assembled - strangely enough with two new participants only one of which Loki could currently stand to see. Loki didn't know why it was necessary for Jane and Darcy to attend their little gathering but it seemed like a bad idea to try and talk Thor out of it.

So, Loki rolled with it and graced Jane with all the force of his distrust. Unfortunately, it came bouncing back tenfold.

The only other person besides Darcy who didn't appear to be rooting for the reintroduction of torture was Thor. His brother looked torn between the urge to come to his aid and the idea of exacting said punishment himself. Loki bristled because it shouldn't have been a question at all. Of all the times he had never wanted Thor to play his everlasting big brother card this was the only time Loki would have actually accepted it.

Typical. Thor was able to surprise at the most inconvenient of moments.

But Loki had no choice. This was not something he could take care of on his own. If he wanted to save Asgard Motors and all his bright plans for the future he needed their help. Standing at the top of a crippled business was no better than having no stand at all.

And so he explained the situation to them as far as he trusted them with the details - which was not very far. He left out his blood-relation to Laufey because that was a) nobody's business but his and b) there was no diplomatic way of saying _'Oh, and by the way, I'm your worst enemy's son. Who would have thought of that, huh?'_.

"It's been Laufey all along." He declared after a few minutes of collective grim staring.

Darcy had done quick and good work uncovering the mystery buyer’s identity. He might even have to think about keeping her around.

"So, he set you up?" Fandral clearly tried not to laugh, " _You_."

"So it would seem." Loki gnarled through clenched teeth. It was bad enough having to admit it to himself but being called out on it by these-

He decided not to finish that thought.

Instead he glared at Volstagg who bustled past him with a fresh sandwich on his plate, "What happened? Silver tongue turn to lead?"

Seriously, was this the only joy in their lives? To watch someone beat Loki at his own game? Even if it was fact it didn’t sit well with Loki anyway. He kept wondering if Laufey knew that he had set up his own son. If so he obviously cared as much about their family ties as Loki did.

Fortunately, Sif stepped in before any of them could end up with a sandwich in their faces, "Okay, so he wants a war. Fine. But what I don't get is: why go through all this trouble? He could have just outright attacked us."

Loki shook his head, "Not unless he wants the rest of the community on him as well. He needed _a reason_ and we conveniently gave him one."

He noticed Thor tensing while everyone else was giving him baffled looks. Good; at least the oaf was still with him. The rest of the class could catch up later.

"Don't you see? Everything has been leading up to this. The odd jobs he has been giving me to ensure I would take on the big one. The crew of nameless goons he hired to steal the device afterwards so that in case there was ever going to be an investigation nothing would point to him."

"Which you totally fell for, by the way."

" _Yes_ , Fandral, thank you for the reminder." Loki's smile could have cut through steel, "Glad to see you're following. Don't trip now."

Fandral was up and in Loki's face in a split-second, shoving at him.

"Enough!" Thor bellowed from his corner and everyone fell silent, "Stick to the facts."

Sif manhandled Fandral back onto the couch before he could snap Loki's neck. Loki shrugged - can't dish out if you can't take it.

"So the race was a trap too?" Jane asked as soon as the commotion had died down. Why she was even talking was beyond Loki. Why she was talking to _him_ of all people was a plain mystery.

Loki's reply was accordingly chilly, "Apparently."

Admittedly, Loki was not entirely sure if the whole deal with the race hadn't really been more of a Plan B for Laufey. But he figured it hardly mattered now. If plan A didn't pan out and plan B happened to work like a charm, well, then so be it. Loki could relate - he planned to F by default.

"I hear he's been gaining sympathizers left and right because of the incident at the race," Loki elaborated, more to Thor than anyone else.

"But it was an accident!" Sif blurted out because if there was one thing she was good at it was being enraged on someone else's behalf.

"I wouldn't call it that."

"Why not?"

Loki smirked, "Because the word 'accident' implies that there is no one to blame."

He was met with several blank stares. "Oh, come on. Have you ever seen a car explode like this unless it was wired to do so? Please. I am willing to bet a reasonable sum of money that Laufey's friend from the crash is sitting at a beach somewhere, sipping Mojitos."

He generously left out the fact that the train was kind of his doing. But he was pretty certain Laufey's car would have exploded no matter what. And the assembled engineering knowledge obviously - if reluctantly - agreed.

"It seems he is very good at making people believe it was our fault." Loki turned to Thor who was a brooding heap of doubts. Served him right. "Laufey has been itching to settle this for years and this is his chance. If we don't stop him we'll lose everything."

Contemplative silence descended upon the room until Darcy piped up, "I guess it would really help if we knew what exactly he stole, huh?"

"Oh please," Fandral scoffed, "whatever it was it is long gone by now, I'm sure."

"I wouldn't be so sure about that." Loki smiled knowingly. This was his terrain - distributing stuff that did not actually belong to him without anyone noticing. "If he indeed had the intention to sell the device it would have turned up on the black market by now. And he went to great lengths to make sure nobody knows he even has it. Kind of defeats the purpose, doesn't it?"

Fandral opened his mouth to retaliate but Thor shushed him with a determined wave of his hand. He turned his gaze on Loki, "You've made your point. Both of you. Now we need to figure out what to do about this."

Loki's indignation at Thor's sudden interest in reining this argument in grudgingly gave way to a wicked smile, "We could always just ask..."


	19. Fractionally Elevated

After three nights in a shitty motel room the prospect of sleeping in his own bed was a welcome reprise. And yet Loki had trouble finding rest.

Over the course of the last few days his anger had festered into something that had grown legs and was running amok in his mind. There were so many things to be enraged about that it had become a sort of mushroom cloud of rage and disappointment. It was like being mad about having to be mad.

"Loki?" Thor whispered as he poked his head in.

Great. Thor was really the last person Loki wanted to see right now.

He made it known by keeping his back firmly turned towards the door, "What do you want?"

Thor bustled inside in a way only an impossibly muscular giant like him could - by making so much noise Loki could tell where he was in the room just by the sound of things he was hitting with his extremities.

His brother cursed low under his breath before coming to stand mere inches from Loki's bed. For a moment Loki thought he was simply going to stand there like a creep and say nothing at all.

"I-...," Thor began but broke off and Loki shunned the grin that was meaning to spread on his face, "I wanted to say... I missed you."

Loki rolled his eyes, "I was only gone for three days, Thor."

"So?" Thor hesitated, "I guess that means you didn't miss me."

"Thor," Loki wiggled around and finally turned on the lamp on his bedside table, making Thor squint for a second, "what do you _want_?"

He was not yet ready to admit that in the days he hadn't come home he had felt colder than ever before. When people compared Thor to the sun they were not completely wrong. The trouble was that if you stared at the sun for too long, you saw it in everything you looked at.

Thor fidgeted but eventually sat down by Loki's side. This was going to be one of the tougher ones, Loki could tell.

"I've been thinking about the things you said the other day." Thor's voice was uncannily low and the tone of desperation that was seeping into it made Loki sit up. His brother took a deep breath as if in preparation for a dive and Loki found it impossible to tear his eyes away. "Brother, whatever I have done to wrong you, whatever I have done to lead you to do this, I am truly sorry."

For the first time in a very long time Loki didn't know what to say. You couldn't expect a lifetime of neglect and criticism that ultimately culminated in discovering that you were the human equivalent of a screwdriver to just dissipate into warm fuzzies in the face of an apology. Even when it was an earnest one like this.

But Thor was Thor and he probably expected just that. Loki could have ignored it. He _wanted_ to ignore it but Thor's expectations of reality inevitably made you wish for them to be true. And that was fine; Loki didn't resent Thor for being who he was - it was what people _made_ of him that Loki hated. If Odin hadn't so blatantly favoured Thor all these years Loki's desire to grind his heel into everything they stood for would have had a lot less fertile ground to grow on.

For all it was worth, Thor’s hand in this was of a more subtle nature. Thor just never noticed which, alright, hurt more than watching everyone fawn over him. But as far as Loki knew Thor had never lied to him about anything and in the end you couldn't really blame the sun for shining.

You could shield yourself from it though. Otherwise all you got was a sunburn and a lot of pain.

"I cannot undo the past," Thor said when Loki remained silent, "but I can try to do better in the future. Please tell me there is still room for me to try."

Loki had always pictured the day Thor would come crawling on his knees to beg forgiveness. It wasn’t this. For one, he had imagined there to be a lot more malicious glee but to his surprise he found little delight in seeing his brother plead so openly.

Revenge was only useful so long as it served to make someone feel better.

While Loki was still busy trying to figure out whether to file this under triumph or failure Thor heaved a resigned sigh and got up. He trudged across the room like an injured rescue dog and Loki couldn't take it anymore.

"Thor," Loki said quietly, "I did miss you. A little bit."

The grin on Thor's face could have prompted flowers into bloom and swept the sky clean of clouds. It was awful.

"Oh, stop grinning like that and get out."


	20. Stint

"When you said we should go ask I didn't think you meant Tony Stark." Thor mused as they stood across the street from Stark Tower.

"Well, chances are Laufey isn't going to tell us what he took," Loki grinned, "but the man he took it from might."

"Technically _you_ took it from him." Thor could be a real damper when he wanted to be but Loki was in an exceptionally good mood today and so he merely gave his brother a reassuring smile and patted him on the back.

"Details, brother." He slipped through the door and briskly walked over to the massive receptionist's desk, "Leave this to me."

He leaned on the counter that was all chrome and polished marble and presented the man behind it with his most amiable smile, "Good morning. We have an appointment with Mister Stark."

The man whose name was 'Clint' according to his name tag gave him a somewhat disinterested look, "Your name, please?"

Loki squinted at the wall behind Clint. You could say a lot about modern architecture and its overuse of shiny materials but when it came to reflecting a computer screen nothing worked better than improvidently placed mirrors. This, and Loki's ability to read mirror writing.

He nodded when he'd spotted a name with an appointment about fifteen minutes from now, "Romanoff. We're a little bit early though."

"Romanoff. You sure?" Clint repeated and Loki did not like the smile on his face one bit.

"Of course, I'm sure. It's my name."

Clint tapped the screen in front of him and now he was positively smirking, "It's just that you don't look like a Natasha."

Alright. Awkward.

" _N._ stands for Natasha." Loki gave a slow nod, "Not _Nikolai_?"

"Nope."

"Are you sure?"

"Pretty sure, yes."

"Damn."

"Nice try though." Clint pointed at the wall behind him and winked, "Been trying to get those removed for months but nobody ever listens to me."

"That's enough." Thor hissed and elbowed his way towards the counter while Loki made strangling motions behind him. It was like last night had never even happened.

"I apologize for my brother. He has a very strange sense of humor." Thor droned on, causing Loki to stray from the counter in search of something sharp to ram into his back. Sadly, all he could find was an umbrella and a good dozen magazines featuring the unmistakable likeness of one Tony Stark. The man had an even higher opinion of himself than Thor.

In the meantime, Thor was rambling at Clint, "The truth is, we do not have an appointment."

"I kind of figured, thanks."

"My name is Thor Odinson. And this is my brother Loki. We’re here because we think we can retrieve something that Mister Stark has... lost."

"Do we?" Loki arched an eyebrow. He hadn't been aware that they were now offering retrieval services.

Thor shushed him while Clint presented them with a look that indicated none of this was getting them anywhere.

“Look,” he said, “it’s not that I don’t _want_ to let you go upstairs. I _can’t_. No appointment, no-... wait a second.”

Loki got curious and stepped closer when Clint narrowed his eyes at the screen in front of him.

“You said your name was Odinson?”

Thor nodded, “Yes.”

Clint cocked his head, still scrutinizing the screen. It looked vaguely accusatory, “Fine. Seems like you do have an appointment. God, I _hate_ when he does that.”

“Excuse me... what?” Thor was just as confused as Loki, albeit more vocal about it.

Clint leaned back in his chair and threw his pen at the computer, huffing, “Nothing. Just JARVIS taking the fucking wheel again.”  
“Jarvis? Who-”

“Never mind. Just get up there before I punch something. Last elevator on the right takes you straight up to Stark’s office.”

Loki grabbed Thor by the arm before he could argue. Gift horse, thy name was Jarvis.

\---

Stark Industries' security system consisted of three tiers: The first initial face-to-face check named 'Clint', various electronic, biometric and other _-ic_ checks, and a very resilient assistant called Pepper Potts.

She held up a sealed plastic bag that contained Loki's knife and wordlessly raised an eyebrow.

Loki shrugged, "I don't like guns."

"Neither do we." She dropped the bag into a container on her desk, "You can pick it up later."

Then she turned on her heel and led the way to Stark's office. If she hadn't she would have noticed Loki's quick dash to the box. When his brother threw him a scolding glance over his shoulder Loki merely mouthed a silent _'What?'_ and spun the knife back into his pocket with a skillful flick of his wrist.

\---

Tony Stark's office was a mixture between the sun deck of a cruise ship, Space Mountain, and The Matrix. And it was bigger than all three.

"Ten minutes," Miss Potts informed them before dropping off some files on a desk that looked like its only function was to support coffee mugs, and stalking back out again.

"Romanoff? Really?" The voice came from around the corner. It was ridiculous how large this office was.

They followed the noise and encountered Tony Stark wiping his hands on a piece of cloth, shirt sleeves rolled up to his elbows and covered in something that appeared to be lubricant. Machine parts of unknown nature were scattered all over the workbenches.

"It was worth a try." Loki shrugged.

Stark looked him up and down, "Sorry to tell you but you lack the curves."

"I'll remember that for next time." Loki grinned as they watched Stark disappear behind a shelf. He emerged moments later in a clean shirt which seemed pointless since the rest of him was still sticky and vaguely yellow. But Loki guessed Tony Stark did not suffer from any shortage of clothing so he refrained from commenting on it.

"JARVIS tells me you have something of mine?"

Whoever this Jarvis was he knew too much for Loki’s liking so he stopped Thor from answering right away. This was the start signal for negotiations and Loki knew if Thor took over they were going to end up giving things away for free. Loki didn't work for free.

"No," Loki said as they trailed after Stark to his desk where he inspected the new stack of files, "but we may know where to find it."

"You _may know_?" Stark echoed and held up one of the folders. A robotic arm unfurled seemingly out of nowhere and squashed the documents into a trash can. Loki was disappointed that the trashcan did not grow legs and walked out but that only lasted until the inside burst into flame. Not quite as interesting as legs but possibly more effective.

"For a little finder's fee we would be willing to retrieve it for you."

"Loki," Thor warned, his hand resting heavily on Loki's arm, "what are you doing?"

"Your idea. I am merely seeing to it that we get something out of it."

"You could go to _prison_!" Thor had the loudest whisper imaginable, "And you stand here trying to blackmail the man who can keep you out of it!"

"Blackmailing?" Loki scoffed, "Hardly. This is called 'negotiating', dear brother. It's time you learned the difference."

Thor shoved at his shoulder - thankfully the one without the bullet hole - snarling, "You are digging your own grave, Loki. Stop it and let me-"

"Let you _what_?" Loki growled back. So they were home from school and battling for the last piece of cake again. Brilliant.

It was fortunate that Stark chose this moment to butt in, "So, how long have you two been married?"

"We're not-," Thor paused in order to give Stark a confused look, "we're brothers."

Stark raised an eyebrow and glanced at Loki who waved it off, "It's complicated."

"I bet. So, you were in the process of offering me something?"

"Yes," Thor was faster this time, "we know who took your property and we can get it back for you."

"Why would I need you? I could have battalions of government agents looking for it."

Thor was probably about to ramble something about honour and redeeming themselves but Loki stepped in before his brother could do any more damage.

The advantage of being forced to live in the shadow of your sibling was that people didn't notice you. That gave you a lot of time and freedom to observe. Loki was exceptional at picking up on details - like the use of the word ‘could’. Sometimes subjunctive form was not your friend.

Loki positively sneered when he sidled up to lean on the desk, "Because you _can't_."

"What?" Thor asked while Stark's eyes never left Loki's. They both ignored him.

"If you were able to get an investigation going you would have done so by now." Loki narrowed his eyes, "Something is keeping you from bringing in the police..."

And then he laughed because the thought he had just had was ridiculous.

"You stole this thing too, didn't you?"

Stark didn't laugh; instead he looked like he had stepped on a nail, "'Stealing' is a very strong word. I... picked up an idea."

Then he sighed and nodded towards an essentially blank patch of space, "JARVIS? Bring up the project we said we wouldn't talk about."

Loki shared a perplexed look with his brother.

 _'Mental.'_ Loki mouthed and tapped his temple.

A moment later a very polite voice greeted them while layers upon layers of schematics flared up where there had previously been nothing but air. Admittedly, this was a little bit more impressive than Loki would have given Stark credit for.

It also finally explained who this wretched Jarvis person was. Obviously, it wasn’t a person at all.

Thor inconspicuously stepped out of a floating assortment of eerily glowing specifications, "What is this?"

"A compact inertial damper," Loki said, hoping he sounded a lot less awed than he actually was. He rounded the holographic model like a wolf looking for an opening.

"A what?"

Loki leaned over to Thor, "It's what makes the Enterprise fly."

"I thought that were the engines?"

Loki grimaced. He would have wondered how Thor had ever made it past third grade but sadly, he knew. Loki had done most of his homework for him.

"Relax," Thor winked and poked him with his enormous elbow, "I'm just kidding."

What Thor failed to realize was that such jokes were only funny when nobody believed you were stupid enough to actually mean it. In the spirit of this thought Loki dismissed the comment with a frown and turned to Stark.

"It says 'DoD' down here." He gestured at a small three-dimensional stamp.

"Like I said," if Stark was going for the innocent look he was aiming too high, "I borrowed their idea and touched it up a little."

"Did they ask you to do this?"

"Not yet."

They had reached a stalemate which Loki eventually dissolved with a pleased grin because this was all the leverage he needed.

"It was supposed to go to the testing site," Stark elaborated, his tone as pained as if Loki was pulling cactus needles from his feet, “when it... _went missing_.”

He shot Loki a pointed glare which Loki would have happily ignored if it weren’t for the bugging elbow in his side.

“Tell him,” Thor urged him but Loki firmly kept his mouth shut.

“Save it,” Stark made a dismissive gesture, “I figured you stole it. The real question is: Why don’t you _have it_?”

Loki’s last piece of patience shriveled up into something very unsightly and distinctly unfriendly.

“Someone took it,” Thor answered in his stead.

“Wait,” Stark squinted and Loki genuinely detested the smile tugging at the corners of his lips, “Are you telling me you stole from me and then got ripped off?”

“I was having a. Very. Bad. Day.” If full stops were weapons this would have been a crime scene.

“Sounds like the worst.” Stark snorted.

Thor came to the rescue before Loki could locate anything pointy enough to drive through Stark’s skull, “The thing is, we know who stole it and what he’s planning to do with it.”

Loki doubted Thor had any idea what Laufey was planning but Loki did and hence it was simply assumed that ‘we’ was an accurate term.

“Okay, who is _he_?” Stark inquired and Thor sighed.

“His name is Laufey-”

Stark shook his head, “Never heard of the guy.”

“Not surprising,” Loki chimed in, “he travels in vastly different circles than you.”

“Said circles being...?”

Thor thought he was subtly stepping between them but when you were over 6 feet tall and built like a bus subtlety was not something that came easily, “He’s a street racer and a thug.”

Stark raised his eyebrows, “And how’s that different from you two?”

Loki’s smile was like a blade hidden in a bowl of ice cream, “We’re here. He’s not. And if he were you would be dead.”

“Sounds like a charmer.”  
“I’m afraid I’ll have to agree with my brother.” Thor admitted. “He _is_ a nasty piece of work.”

At least this was a fact neither of them could deny.

“Okay, fine.” Stark shrugged, “I’ll bite. Assuming I did agree to this delusional offer how much would it cost me?”

Thor’s arm shot out faster than Loki could say his name, “We don’t want your money-”

“Yes, we do.” Loki scowled at his brother.

“Loki, we talked about this.”

“No, _you_ talked.” Loki growled. He was not beyond bringing up the entire range of their argument again, “I had no choice but to silently disagree.”

Thor’s eyes turned into narrow slits as he glared at Loki in what he probably assumed to be a commanding manner but it proved unsuccessful in the face of Loki’s complete lack of cooperative spirit.

“Alright,” Thor said all of a sudden and stepped aside which made Loki pause for a moment. This was new. Thor giving up the lead? Either the Apocalypse was at hand or somebody had knocked some sense into him while Loki wasn’t looking.

“Two million,” Loki decided with a smug grin.

“What?” Thor whirled around while Stark remained unimpressed, “Forgive my brother. He’s joking.”

“No, I’m not.” Loki gave Thor a bewildered look before turning to Stark, “Come on, this is peanuts to you.”

“Yeah,” Stark agreed, “But I don’t throw peanuts out the window either. I want reassurance.”

Loki pointed at Thor, “I’m sure he’ll give you his word. He’s very reliable.”

“Loki-”

Stark’s gaze briefly travelled to Thor, “I’m sure he is. It’s you that I don’t trust.”

Few people realized that being a cheat was far easier than being an honest person. Being trustworthy required hard work, constant proof, and a phenomenal ability to put up with a lot of bullshit.

To become a crook it only took one wrongful step. Loki always considered himself mid-stride.

“You’ll keep me informed every step of the way.” Stark crossed his arms but it was distinctly less imposing than it looked on Thor.

“Doable.” Loki concluded and tried not to smile.

“Wait, Loki you can’t-,” Thor sputtered.

“I believe he just did.”

\---

“So?”

“So what?” Loki squinted against the afternoon sun as they stepped outside.

Thor watched him for a while as if he needed to decide whether or not to make the next move, “So what are we going to do now?”

Loki arched one eyebrow, “Are you asking me for advice?”

The novelties just kept on coming.

“I’m asking you for a plan.” Thor gestured at him, “I know you have one. I can see it in the frown lines on your forehead.”

Loki resisted the urge to reach up and check. It seemed Thor was unusually perceptive today and Loki had no real reason to keep this from his brother. For once, they were working towards the same goal.

“Well,” Loki started walking down the street with Thor falling in step next to him, “First of all we need to find out where Laufey keeps the device.”

Thor rubbed his chin, “Could be tough. He’ll have it guarded. And I doubt he’s just going to tell us.”

Loki had a special smile for occasions like these; situations when he knew he was three steps ahead of everyone else and was enjoying the hell out of it.

“He doesn’t have to. He’ll _show me_.”


	21. Exclusive Rights

Stark Industries had always been ahead of its time. Loki could see why. Tony Stark had obviously been born into the wrong century and having no flying cars upset him so he did his best to build some.

While he hadn’t succeeded yet an inertial damper that could easily be fitted into the engine room of a car was a damned good start.

And Loki was willing to bet that Laufey had the same idea. It was a racer’s dream come true.

The biggest problem a driver faced was not speed - that could be achieved with relatively simple means. No, the _real_ problem was to maintain control.

It seemed straight-forward but when the first 90° turn came up things tended to look different. Doing 80 in a residential area and forcing your car into a motion that essentially meant staring physics in the eye and flipping it the finger - that required a lot of skill.

Now, if you had a nifty little device in your car that would allow you to achieve top speed with a minimum of effort and that also kept your wheels on the asphalt no matter how narrow the turn - now _that_ would toggle the level of effort to steering with your pinkie.

Equipped with something like this Laufey could wipe the street with them. And not just them; nobody would stand a chance.

Normally, Loki couldn’t have cared less about all the other street racing crews but many of them had ties to organized crime and if Laufey managed to get a foot in the door with these people? They were all screwed.

The term ‘street cred’ was not just a set phrase in the racing community. It was like gold - you hoarded it and you hit people over the head with it if all else failed but you never _ever_ gave it up without a fight.

If they allowed for Laufey’s plan to unfold there wouldn’t even be a grain left of it. And if there was a person Loki was even less inclined to surrender to than Thor it was Laufey.

\---

It was just as awkward as Loki had feared. He hadn’t anticipated quite so many firearms though.

When he stepped out of his car in front of Laufey’s garage he was greeted by several Frost Giants and their barely concealed Do-you-have-a-permit-for-that semi-automatics.

“Hey,” Loki smiled at the Frosty who had taken up the task of patting him down, “do you charge by the hour or are you just enjoying yourself?”

The man grimaced and immediately stopped, waving Loki through. Insinuating statements were Loki’s strong suit and they often helped to keep overenthusiastic securities from searching too carefully.

This was possibly not one of his best ideas but it _was_ an idea, at least.

As he was being led further into the hall by no less than four Frost Giants with itchy trigger fingers it became quite clear to Loki that his reasoning was going to have to be flawless or he would not be walking out again.

The garage was vast and several doors indicated that it went on beyond where he could see. Frost Giants poked their heads out from skeletons of cars that had been stripped for gods knew what purposes. Nobody appeared particularly happy to see Loki.

Well, he wasn’t exactly pleased to be here either. But somebody had to find out where Laufey was keeping Stark’s machine and Loki was the only one with a somewhat sensible reason to be there. After all, Laufey still owed him money.

“Kill him.” Laufey’s voice vibrated through the hall and dozens of safeties clicked.

“Really?” Loki arched an eyebrow, “This is how you conduct business? Bad publicity, if you ask me. If word gets out that this is how you repay your debts people will be less than thrilled to work with you.”

A special brand of silence followed; the kind that preceded building implosions - impressive to watch but considerably less fun when you were underneath it.

And then Laufey made a sound that strongly reminded Loki of collapsing architecture.

“So you figured it out.”

Loki gave a shrug that looked a lot more casual than it was, “You’re good. But not that good. You owe me one million.”

“Do I now?” Laufey raised one eyebrow and within an instant several barrels were levelled at Loki’s head in a manner that left little room for misinterpretation.

So, either Laufey was an unbelievably fucked-up bastard or he really did not know of their blood relation. Loki kept his eyes trained on his so-called father, watching for any sign of recognition but unless Laufey was a tremendously good actor there was absolutely nothing to see except for open hostility and a dash of disgust.

Loki wasn’t sure if he should be disappointed or relieved or if he plain did not care. In any case, it helped to strengthen his resolve to bring this whole damned gang down. People tried to erase their past all the time - Loki just went a little bit further than most.

And so he smiled as he sidestepped one of Laufey’s goons, “I would be willing to overlook this accounting error in return for an open ear regarding a business proposal.”

He had to hand it to Laufey - the man had his minions under control. One small nod from him was enough to cause all the weaponry in the room to disappear.

“I will hear you.”

The implication that this might not extend to him leaving this place alive afterwards was not lost on Loki. But Loki worked best under pressure and imminent death was the most pressure you could get.

“I know what it is you had me steal.” Loki laid it out like puzzle pieces, leaving it to Laufey to put them together, “And I know you still have it.”

Laufey remained quiet which was answer enough.

“I imagine such a device might come in handy if one were to attempt to gain control over the city. You could outrun anyone if you managed to incorporate it into a car.” Loki mused while Laufey watched his every move like an angry vulture.

“But even if you did you would still have one problem.”

“And what is that?”

Loki smirked, “My brother.”

Once more Laufey refrained from arguing the obvious. They both knew Loki had a point.

“Thor’s influence is not based on racing alone.” Loki wandered between Laufey’s men simply to unnerve them. And to present less of a target. “I’m sure you’ve realized this. People look to him because he represents something. Beating him in a race is not as difficult as it may seem. But getting rid of the _impression_ he leaves with people is infinitely harder. You don’t have to bring down just the man, but everything he stands for.”

It was a little bit sad when you thought about it. There it was, Loki’s lifelong resentment, all laid out for Laufey to take advantage of. Loki wasn’t proposing a deal - he was selling a point. And maybe, deep down, in the parts of his mind where the cobweb of schemes was not as thick as it ought to be, he was hoping that once he’d sold it he would never see it again.

“What are you offering?” Laufey demanded and Loki could read both confusion and interest in his expression.

“What if I were able to create a situation in which you could get rid of my brother for good and seem entirely justified doing so?” Loki suggested. And then he waited for the implication to sink in.

Laufey looked genuinely surprised, if a little suspicious, “You want me to kill your brother?”

“No,” Loki smiled, “I know that you _need_ to kill him in order to gain any ground in this turf war. You’re just lucky I agree.”

“Why don’t you do it yourself then?”

Loki snorted, “I imagine the rest of Asgard Motors would not take kindly to a boss who had murdered his predecessor. Not to mention his own brother. I also reckon law-enforcement might have something to say about it. Besides, it’s no use to you if I take all the credit.”

For a while Laufey said nothing at all. His crew held their collective breaths. Loki, on his part, merely waited for the green light.

“Why would you do this to your own kin?” Laufey asked and Loki almost laughed out loud. Like he was one to talk. The things Laufey did on a regular basis made Loki’s treachery look like a harmless poker bluff.

Nevertheless, Loki tapped into the vast pool of anger inside of him to make his answer as resentful as possible, “Thor is a couple of centuries behind and it’s time he realized that. He’s just so irritatingly stubborn that I fear nothing short of fatal action will have any effect on him at all.”

Loki had lost count of how many times he had fantasized about Thor’s sudden and oftentimes not very pleasant departure from this world. It was also the one thing he knew he would never be able to see through to the end. He was usually so consistent with his plans but this was one that would forever remain theoretical.

When they were kids they had sworn to each other that they would either die together or not at all. Obviously their hopes were slightly exaggerated but it was a pinkie promise and if you couldn’t rely on those then nothing was sacred anymore. Besides, it was one thing to plot someone’s downfall but another to essentially kill off the very basis of all your ambitions.

So, no. Ending Thor’s life was not actually on the table but that was the whole point of a bluff, wasn’t it? It was only as good as your opponent’s willingness to believe it.

And Laufey was ready to believe alright.

“What would you want in return?”

“I only ask that you leave Asgard Motors to me.” Also not exactly a lie but Loki felt comfortable enough to reveal that about himself, “Who knows, it might be useful in the future. We do a lot of international shipping, big crates, bulky items, lots of need for filling material. And contrary to my brother I am open to new business strategies.”

“And you are certain that you can lure him into such a trap?” Laufey’s eyes narrowed.

“Yes.” True enough; Loki was pretty confident that if all else failed he would be able to stage Thor’s death. It was their collective job to keep it from becoming necessary. “Thor is nothing if not easily manipulated.”

“Then you could have done it a long time ago.”

“Opportunity makes the thief.” Loki had always wondered about this proverb. In his opinion, a good thief simply created the opportunity.

Laufey smirked, “Very well then, Loki Odinson. We seem to have a deal.”

Hearing his full name from Laufey’s lips sounded strange. As if he were mocking Loki with it - which he probably was but likely not in the way Loki’s wounded mind was interpreting it.

“Give me a call in the next few days.” Loki grinned, “I presume you still have my number?”

Laufey smiled, a grim thing full of promises of bodily harm should anything go wrong. He nodded and demonstratively turned back around to continue maiming the V6 engine dangling from the ceiling in the corner.

Case closed, conversation over, thank you all and good night.

But Loki was not done yet.

“Just out of curiosity,” he ducked out from between two Frosties moving in on him, “did it work?”

Laufey slowly turned to face him, looking like a very determined executioner, “Did what work?”

“Putting Stark’s device into a car.”

Laufey mustered him as if he were taking measurements for Loki’s coffin, “Why would I tell you?”

Loki shrugged, “You had me steal it and all I got to see before your horde of imbeciles snatched it was a metal box. Naturally, I’m interested to see what exactly I have just given my brother’s life up for.”

“Only two of my men survived.” Laufey frowned.

“And none of mine. Your point?”

Laufey grumbled something that might have been an insult or an order to his minions, it was impossible to tell the difference.

“Fine,” he beckoned Loki to follow him, “I’ll show you.”

And this was exactly why Loki had been banned from all poker nights in the Odinson household.


	22. Worst Case Scenarios Is What We're Best At

“Uh-oh, he’s making the face.”

“Excuse me?” Loki swung his jacket over the backrest of the chair and sent a pointed glare in Volstagg’s direction.

“You’re making the _’We are screwed’_ face.” Volstagg explained around a mouthful of spareribs.

“I’m not-,” Loki turned to Thor, “Am I?”

Thor nodded, looking sympathetic.

Loki sighed and collapsed into the chair, “Clearly I need to practice more because this should have been my _’We are dead’_ face.”

“That bad?”

Loki’s gaze travelled to Sif, “Define bad.”

“Just tell us what you found out, Loki.” Thor dropped into the chair next to him, hesitating for a moment before adding: “Please.”

“Well, the good news is I can confirm that Stark’s little toy is in Laufey’s garage.” Loki leaned heavily onto the table while the usual suspects hung onto his every word. _Now_ they listened. “Bad news is he has already fitted it into his car.”

“But that’s perfect.” Sif brightened up, “We can just boost it. Easy as pie.”  
“Not really, I’m afraid.” Loki picked at a speck on the table cloth, “It’s parked in the basement. One entrance and that is constantly guarded by more Frost Giants than any of us have ever seen in one place. Not to mention that you need to cross the entire yard to get there.”

Sif threw him an angry look, “We’ve dealt with worse.”

“Have we?” Loki grimaced, “Where was I when we did that?”

Even Sif had to concede to this. They had _never_ dealt with anything of this scale before. Sure, they took on rival crews almost on a daily basis (there was always some dumbass who thought their reign was over) but that was on the street, on their turf, in the cars they knew from the inside out. There were rules, set routes, limits.

This? This was a declaration of war. And the only rule anyone was adhering to was to survive, by any means necessary.

Loki had seen Laufey’s means and no matter how fast your car was bullets were still faster.

“Trust me,” Loki said eventually, “this is not something you can solve with a baseball bat and a tire iron.”

“And if we lure them out?” Fandral mused - as if Loki hadn’t considered this already.

“Then you would still be faced with a code lock on the garage door and the fact that the car cannot be moved without Laufey’s help.”

“We can tow it.”

“No,” Loki shook his head, “you’re not listening. This car does not move one inch without Laufey.”

Thor had been awfully quiet until now but this put a frown on his face, “How so?”

“He had a four digit keypad and a fingerprint scanner built in.” Loki ran a hand through his hair and gave a weary shrug, “So, unless you have the code and, say, one of Laufey’s thumbs his car does not go anywhere.”

“I can take care of the thumb issue.”

They collectively stared at Sif.

“What?” She rolled her eyes, “Just saying. We should keep our options open.”

“I’m not sure mutilation is the way to go, Sif. He might take that personal,” Loki admonished but he couldn’t quite hide his smirk. Good old Sif - the first time they had met her she had caught a guy twice her size in a headlock that might have ended deadly if she hadn’t been distracted by Thor’s blinding smile. From day one Loki had known that if they ever needed to eliminate anyone as messily as possible Sif was the person to ask.

“It already _is_ personal.” She snarled but slumped back in her chair. She was not going to give up on this idea but for now she seemed content to entertain it only in her head.

“How about we make that plan B?” Loki smiled, like a teacher trying to placate a rowdy kid.

“Oh no,” Volstagg groaned and pointed at Loki with a gnawed-off rib, “he’s doing the canary face.”

“I’m sure if we think-,” Loki stopped and squinted at Volstagg, “okay, what the hell is a _canary face_?”

Volstagg gestured vaguely, “You know, the face. With the smile. Like the cat that got the canary.”

Loki was momentarily at a loss for words.

“Volstagg. Please.” Thor stepped in but forgot to look the part, “Alright, everyone, can we stop giving my brother’s facial expressions names, please?”

“Are there more?” Loki huffed. He had to hold on to the chair with both hands in order to not reach across the table and throttle Volstagg for his ominous shrug.

“Enough of that.” Thor’s tone took on a more authoritarian edge and he nodded when all the members of their war council were suddenly busy studying the table top.

He glanced at Loki, “So, I assume you have a plan then?”

“Which of my manifold faces has brought you to this assumption, brother?”

Thor was now positively glowering, “ _Loki_.”

“Present.”

“Get on with it, god damn it!”

“Fine.” Loki shot his brother a miffed look but left it at that, “I said the car doesn’t go anywhere without Laufey, I never said it doesn’t move _at all_.”

It was like explaining quantum physics to a bunch of third-graders.

Loki heaved a sigh and decided to play Captain Obvious for once, “We’ll steal it with him in it.”

Chairs creaked in the shocked silence that ensued.

“You’re right,” Thor finally said, “I like his _’We’re screwed’_ face better too.”


	23. Preaching To The Choir In The Wrong Tune

The others were downstairs, playing X-Box when Loki balanced himself on the edge of the bathtub while Thor went to work on the remaining bandages on Loki’s shoulder.

By the sound of it Sif was kicking Fandral’s ass.

“Ow!” Loki tried to wriggle out of Thor’s grasp but that was the problem with big brothers, oftentimes they were just that - _big_.

“You whine like a girl.” Thor chuckled as he tossed the dirty bandages into the trash can by the sink.

“Careful. I can turn you into one from this angle.”

It only served to make Thor laugh and Loki couldn’t even blame him. At this point Loki’s threats were about as fierce as a newborn kitten’s. He was tired, annoyed, and his shoulder was still sore and ached at certain movements.

“Damn it, Thor!” Strike that. _All movements_.

“Quit struggling and it’ll be over in a minute.” Thor’s eyes twinkled with amusement. Naturally, he would enjoy himself. Nursing practice usually worked the other way around in this family so this was a perfect opportunity for Thor to gloat. “Tell me how you’re planning on stealing Laufey’s car.”

Loki winced when Thor cleaned away the sticky residue of the band-aids, “Simple. We’ll make him race it.”

Thor paused in favor of frowning at him, “He will never agree to a race against one of us. He’ll know it’s a ruse.”

“Ah.” Loki reached up and playfully patted Thor’s cheek. The man needed a shave. “But he won’t be going up against us.”

He winked while Thor only sighed and discarded the ball of cotton wool, “I doubt you’ll find anyone stupid enough to agree to this.”

Loki grinned, “I’ve got someone in mind.”

“I feared you might.” Thor’s smile had a resigned air about it and dissipated entirely as he continued to treat Loki’s fading injury. He was scarily gentle which either meant he was feeling guilty about something or he was growing weary of Loki’s complaints.

They were quiet for a long while, occasionally sharing an amused glance whenever colorful expletives drifted upstairs from the living room. This was almost pleasant, if it weren’t for the sharp sting in his shoulder whenever Thor’s fingers brushed against a particularly tender spot.

But all in all this was like old times; with the gang downstairs, providing gratuitous background noise, and them up here lost in their own little bubble of temporary calm. It never lasted but that didn’t mean Loki couldn’t enjoy it.

Speaking of which...

“I noticed our dear _Jane_ has been mysteriously absent as of late.” Loki forced himself to sound as casual as possible but he figured that train had left a long time ago. Apparently, Thor agreed.

The fondness bled out of his features like oil leaking from an engine which was a damned sad sight to see, “She and Darcy set out to find Laufey’s companion from the crash.”

“Wow, that is almost useful- _Ow!_ ”

Thor’s eyes were angry little slits, “You deserved that. Seriously, Loki, she has done nothing to you. I don’t understand why you are _still_ so disrespectful of her.”

Loki didn’t allow himself many moments of complete honesty. He couldn’t, not anymore. Not if he wanted to preserve this cardboard house of his life. But every once in a while he would take a deep, very careful breath and find that it was still standing.

“Oh, I respect her alright. I just don’t _like her_.”

Thor blinked, “But why-”

“Are we really going to have this discussion again?” Loki hissed, standing up so abruptly that Thor actually had to take a step backwards, “She has been here for barely five minutes and already she is your best friend, waltzes in and out of this house like it belongs to her, dares to give _me_ relationship advice and- Why are you smiling?”

“I think I finally figured it out.” Thor’s grin was as proud as if he had just had an epiphany about relativity. It didn’t stop him from poking Loki in the chest though and that was anything but pleasant considering Thor’s strength.

“You don’t like that _I_ like her.” Thor announced and Loki could do nothing but stare at him.

Then Loki narrowed his eyes and ran into the wall of Thor’s incorrigible assumption that everything could be fixed. Maybe Loki had done so one too many times. Metaphorical concussion - it was the only logical explanation for his ragged state of mind.

“You think yourself far too important.” Loki snarled and pushed past his brother, his shirt almost hitting Thor in the face as he flung it over his shoulder, “Despite what you may think my life does not revolve around you and your little trysts.”

That was a dirty fucking lie and so far Loki had done a brilliant job of proving it.

Thor was wearing this stupid, _triumphant_ grin as he pulled Loki back against him. Loki rewarded it with an angry growl that was fifty percent indignation and fifty percent protest at the sudden pang of pain in his shoulder.

“I have seen you tell more convincing lies, brother.” Thor nuzzled into the crook of Loki’s neck. This was a sneaky tactic and it enraged Loki that it worked. It was cheap and not very clever and Loki had nothing to counter it with. Words could only do so much when they went unheard.

“And how would you be able to tell?” Loki grumbled but he was already smiling and leaning to the side to give Thor better access, which was immediately taken advantage of.

Thor’s chuckle was a whiff of air across Loki’s shoulder, “True. But I can always hope that one day I will be able to.”

It would be the end of days if Thor ever managed to call Loki on a lie but he kept that piece of wisdom to himself. Sometimes it paid off to let Thor live in an illusion.

“Come on,” Thor nudged him forward, smiling against Loki’s skin, “let’s get you to bed.”

“Mother hen.”

“I didn’t say to sleep.”

“That just makes you a horny mother hen.”

Thor’s laughter was warm, and welcoming, and so damned forgiving that Loki actually thought there was anything he needed to be forgiven for. It only subsided when they tumbled onto Loki’s bed together and Thor started scattering kisses all around the gauze on Loki’s shoulder. As if he could kiss it away. Stupid, kind idiot.

The sad part was that at times Loki was inclined to believe it was possible.

\---

“But really, who were you thinking of recruiting for this folly?” Thor asked at the breakfast table.

Loki nursed his coffee and smirked.


	24. Small Fish, Big Pond

“Oh no, not you again.”

“I see your manners haven’t improved since our last encounter.” Loki sauntered into the crowded garage. There was barely enough space to walk alongside the orange abomination. A familiar freckled face, adorned with a wild mop of red hair poked out from behind the passenger side of the Nissan, mouth hanging open in either shock or amazement. It was hard to tell - those two often coincided for Sean Cassidy.

“Fuck my manners.” Alex wiped his hands on something that was marginally less dirty than his fingers, “Why are you here? I don’t have any more money you can steal.”

Loki presented him with a textbook pout, “ _Stealing_ is a very bad word. And not at all accurate.”

“Can we skip the ethics lesson, please?” Alex gave an exasperated sigh and flung the stained cloth somewhere onto the workbench behind him.

“Absolutely.” Loki sidled along the side of the Nissan, inspecting it thoroughly and thus unnerving Alex and his partner beyond belief. Small pleasures.

“I come with a proposal.” He stated after a dramatic pause.

“Oh,” Alex snorted and Sean preemptively ducked behind the car again, “like the one you had back when _you stole all our money_? Thanks. But no, thanks.”

“Why are you so fixated on the idea that I am after your money?”

“Because you are?” Alex shrugged, “Or would be if we still had any.”

Any other day Loki would have been furious that he was mistaken for a materialistic scumbag but not reacting the way they expected him to was so much more fun. Besides, the whole money issue had been a temporary thing and Loki refused to be held responsible for people who were dumb enough to race him.

And so he simply smiled, leaned against the driver’s side and thoroughly destroyed the impression they had of him, “Point. But I can assure you this new deal is not about money. Well. Mostly not about money.”

Sean hesitantly reappeared - as expected, “Then what _is_ it about?”

“Not that we’ll do anything for you,” Alex warned, “just... curious.”

Loki tried to keep his grin from slipping into the ‘victorious’ territory, “We want you to challenge Laufey to a race.”

It was almost comical to watch two sets of eyes widen in sheer terror at one simple suggestion.

“Dude, do we look suicidal?” Sean yelped.

Alex agreed, albeit a lot less hysterical, “Come on. We’ve been in town for like three months or something and even _we_ know that nobody goes toe to toe with this guy.”

Loki arched one eyebrow and Alex conceded, “Okay, maybe except for you guys. But that’s not even the problem.”

“Then what is?” Loki absent-mindedly started scratching at a cut in the paint job. Whatever they had done to this car it had been effective - if they had meant to produce scrap metal.

Alex gestured wildly, “He _kills people_. Probably with his bare hands.”

“I heard he bit off a guy’s right hand.” Sean whispered, “Can’t drive without your right hand, man.”

“He even shot you, for fuck’s sake.”

News about that had certainly travelled fast and wide. But the fact that Loki was still standing spoke for itself. Time to play on that.

“Flesh wound.” He waved it off, “Guy has terrible aim.”

“Doesn’t mean he can’t shoot us dead by accident.” Alex grumbled and his entourage nodded frantically.

“Or bite our hands off.”

“Oh please.” Loki made a placating gesture, “Those rumors are greatly exaggerated.”

“How do you know?” Alex glowered. Loki merely held up his hands, wiggling his fingers.

“Trust me, if he had reason to bite anyone’s hands off it would be mine. And as you can see I still have both.”

“Yeah, but you’re also a notorious liar.” Sean blurted out and immediately clasped a hand over his mouth, mumbling a muffled _’Sorry.’_.

“He’s right.” Alex snarled with his arms crossed in front of his chest in a manner that reminded Loki of Thor - only smaller, “For all we know you could have a deal with him and this is all part of your plan.”

Loki cocked his head to the side and mustered Alex until he dropped his defensive stance. It worked on Thor so Alex was an easy target by comparison.

He took his time before he replied. Nervous people tended to make rash decisions to get it over with. Sean was pretty much ready to agree to anything by now but Alex was a bit harder to crack.

“As a matter of fact, I do,” Loki said eventually, “but I would hate to act on it. Which is why we need you.”

“What?” Alex’s brow furrowed in confusion and Loki heaved a theatrical sigh.

“I made a deal with Laufey to distract him from our real plan.”

“And that would be...?”

“To bring him and his entire gang down.”

“You’re _insane_.” Sean gasped. He looked ready to break out the holy water and the rock salt.

Alex’s eyes narrowed in a way that Loki recognized as tentative interest, “How exactly would you do that?”

“Well,” Loki casually ran his fingers over the exposed engine, causing Alex to glare at him in silent warning, “we know he stole something and we’re going to... let’s say we’re going to strongly encourage him to give it back and turn himself in.”

“You’re going to get him arrested?” Alex blinked.

Nobody appreciated Loki’s wordsmith activities these days. “Yes. More or less.”

“You’ve got the means and the plan. Do it yourself.”

“Sadly, we can’t.” This was the tricky part. “If we were to challenge him, Laufey would suspect a trap. But if someone who is not directly associated with us were to do it...”

He left the rest open to interpretation.

If at all possible Alex’s eyes grew even smaller as he tried to find the catch, “Why us?”

“I like you.” And in a screwed-up sort of way he probably did.

“You always get your friends killed?”

“Only the special ones.”

Alex made a face that settled somewhere between disgust and awe, “You are the worst person I have ever met.”

Loki’s grin turned a tad sharper, “You haven’t met Laufey yet.”

“I don’t know if you’ve noticed,” Sean piped up, “but you’re encouraging me to pee my pants rather than join your cause.”

Loki threw him a sympathetic glance, “I’m just being honest.”

“I liked it better when you lied.”

“Okay, let’s cut the crap.” Alex interrupted, “What’s in it for us?”

Loki straightened up to his full height, which meant he was towering over Alex quite a bit.

“You mean besides fame, glory, and becoming a living legend?”

“Ain’t worth nothing if you got no hands.” Sean said gloomily, staring at his fingers as if imagining a life without them.

Loki offered them both a knowing smile and sat down on the narrow rim of the engine bay. The frame wobbled with the movement and it sounded like somebody was killing a dozen cats with a chainsaw. “At first glance I’d say this one needs new shocks, an oil change, a new driver’s door - how did you do that, by the way? - a side view mirror, new bumpers, and possibly new seats if it’s true what Sean says about pissing his pants.”

“Hey, that’s rude-”

“It does not need an oil change.” Alex insisted with a grim look, “And the seats are _fine_.”

Loki hummed quietly, tapping the metal frame of the car as if in thought, “Still going to cost a fortune though.”

“We’ll manage.” The Thor-esque stance was back whereas Sean looked like the only thing he was going to manage was to silently yet resolutely disagree.

“I work at a repair shop.” Loki suggested.

“So what?” If Alex’s chin protruded any further he was going to dislocate it.

“Just saying.” Loki went on, “Sometimes we do work for friends at special, _reduced_ prices. Of course-”

He eyed the two wannabe racers, “-we would have to be friends in the first place.”

They both stared at him in varying degrees of distrust until Sean grabbed Alex by the arm and tugged him to the far corner of the garage, “Give us a second, okay?”

The smile on Loki’s face couldn’t have been wider if he’d tried. While the two kids were conversing in the corner Loki pretended not to eavesdrop and searched the work bench for pen and paper. Or anything at all to write with.

He came up empty in the paper department but he found a sharpie. A few seconds later he was already on his way out.

“Hey! Hey, wait!” Alex came running after him, pointing at the orange bug, “You wrote on my car, you fucker! What the hell?”

Loki half-turned and grinned, “Don’t worry, Hogun’s good at covering that up. Everything’s an improvement at this point.”

Alex’s mouth opened and closed a couple of times while Sean squinted at the scribbles on the hood of the Nissan.

“That’s our address.” Loki explained with a barely concealed smirk, “Tomorrow, 3 p.m.. Don’t be late.”

“Wait! We haven’t agreed to anything yet, you-”

Loki held up his hand, “Ah. You might want to play nice if you want all those parts replaced for free. Well, relatively free.”

“I hate you.”

“I know.”

“That doesn’t bother you?”

“No,” Loki winked, “you know what happens to my friends. I bet you’ll like not being one.”

“Sean was wrong.” Alex ascertained after a moment of silence, “You’re not insane. You’re just plain evil.”

“Depends on your point of view.” Loki shouted over his shoulder as he walked back to his car, “The way I see it I just won you a new ride.”

“I’ll crash it.” Alex said, his lips most likely a thin sullen line judging by his tone.

“And end up with no car at all? Be my guest.” Loki grinned and slipped into the driver’s seat. In his rearview mirror Alex flipped him the bird before stalking back into the garage. A last act of defiance. How adorable.


	25. Don't Call It A Comeback

A week and a half later Loki was standing on the porch, glaring at Mrs Fortmeier’s cat squatting in the middle of the lawn with a dead bird in its mouth. Must have been one damned slow bird.

The sun had set a while ago but the last glimmer of daylight was still visible above the rooftops. Loki stomped his foot to scare the cat away but instead of running away it spat out the bird and continued to stare at him. She was just as stubborn as her mistress.

_”What are you doing? Kicking someone in the face?”_

Loki rolled his eyes, turning away from the cat and pinning the cell phone between ear and shoulder while zipping up his hoodie, “For all you know, yes.”

_”Reassuring.”_

“I do what I can.” Loki grumbled.

He had learned the hard way that when Tony Stark said he wanted to be kept in the loop he was _to be kept in the loop_. The man had no concept of time whatsoever and if you refused to pick up after the fourth missed call he actually _came by your house_. Since it had been three in the morning it had all been rather awkward. Not to mention that Loki usually had a reason for not answering a call. This one had been located in Thor’s hastily thrown on pajama pants and Stark had tried very hard not to stare.

Surprisingly, Stark preferred to send texts now. But on occasion it was inevitable to talk.

_”So, speaking of reassurance. How’s it going with the modifications I sent you?”_

“We are all set.” Loki carefully avoided any further explanation. He remembered the blueprints a man called ‘Happy’ - ironically, not really looking the part - had dropped off the week before. It was a very complex assortment of suggestions and specifications for reinforcing the body of a car in order to improve structural integrity and losing a few pounds in the process.

He also remembered how they had been huddled around the computer at Asgard Motors, which took exception to most file formats on Stark’s USB drive on principle and required several restarts just to display a PDF. What they had been able to salvage was semi-helpful.

It was all very experimental and Loki doubted their garage was equipped for handling most of the materials in Stark’s designs but if it were, Loki was absolutely certain that it would have worked.

They could have used the vast garage space at Stark Industries, sure, but they were infinitely faster in a place where they knew every corner like the backs of their hands. Besides, delicate machinery tended to give in when faced with Thor’s way of pushing buttons - he _thumb-punched_ them. Most of the time all the way through. And Loki really wanted to avoid reparation payments.

Hence Loki was not at Asgard Motors tonight but at home having tedious conversations with Tony Stark.

_”You didn’t use a single thing I suggested, did you?”_

“Of course we did.” Loki considered it half a lie. It wasn’t like they had used _none_ of it. “And I can put your mind at ease: It works. We tested it on a tow truck.”

_”How is that testing?”_

“We towed the truck.”

 _”Oh,”_ Stark seemed delighted by the idea, _”good one. Was it yours or did you steal that too?”_

“Please,” Loki pouted, “I work at a repair shop, remember? How do you think we get the cars into our garage? By hand?”

_”Looking at your brother I think it’s entirely possible.”_

“Okay, point.” Loki couldn’t stop the grin from spreading on his lips, “Anyway, what I’m saying is that as long as you keep up your end of the deal we’re good to go.”

_”You take care of the bad guy, let me worry about the authorities.”_

“That’s exactly what I meant.” Loki sighed, “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have work to do.”

Thor had stepped out onto the porch, quirking his eyebrows in question. Loki simply rolled his eyes and wordlessly gestured for Thor to sit down.

_”What work? You’re at home.”_

Loki narrowed his eyes, “How-”

_”JARVIS is tracking your GPS signal. I had a feeling it might be useful.”_

“Go die.” Loki stabbed the _End Call_ button with ferocity. JARVIS could go track the garbage truck come morning.

“Wiseass.” Loki grumbled as he shoved the cell phone into his back pocket and slumped down on the wooden bench next to Thor, “Thinks just because he can operate a computer without breaking a finger he’s a genius.”

Thor smiled as he usually did when he thought Loki was being adorable and therefore causing him to bristle even more, “Well, people do say he is.”

Loki snorted derisively. Tony Stark might have had the brains that got you through school but Loki had the kind of smarts that got you through _life_. Also, Stark’s people skills sucked.

“Not as clever as my little brother though, right?” Thor nudged him with his shoulder and held out an bottle of beer, the cap already undone.

Loki arched one eyebrow in skepticism, “Do you really think it’s a good idea to get drunk the night before the big race?”

“It’s just one beer, Loki. Not even you can get drunk from that.” He proceeded to shove the bottle into Loki’s hands who felt like he should take exception to this statement.

“Next to you everyone seems like a lightweight.” Loki grimaced but let their bottles clink together anyway. Thor’s grin was even more stupidly fond than before.

Loki could almost _feel_ what Thor was thinking. That this was like old times; that everything would be fine. And everything did end up fine when you were Thor Odinson. Because the universe loved you.

But when you were Loki - and he still struggled with thinking of himself as such - _Laufeyson_ life didn’t just hand you lemons. It threw them. With frightening accuracy.

“I’m Laufey’s son.” He mumbled. He didn’t even know why; he said it in one breath, almost hoping for Thor to be too preoccupied to hear it.

That was the problem with Thor. Loki could spin lies that were as complex and flawless as diamonds and as eerie as silk threads but he had yet to find a remedy for Thor’s brand of aggressive honesty.

He made people _want_ to be honest and that was pretty much like making Loki jump off a cliff. Lies were his climbing gear and if you cut the rope... well. It was a long way down.

But when you had already lost sight of the edge there was no use in clinging to straws. Sometimes falling was better than dangling over the abyss for a lifetime.

“Sorry, what?” Thor frowned, his hand clutching the bottle and hovering awkwardly in mid-movement.

The way Loki saw it Jane would have told him sooner or later anyway and this was not the sort of news Loki wanted delivered by her. He figured it was best to get it out of the way before the big day.

“I said,” he repeated, slowly, dragging every word like chewing gum on hot asphalt, “I am Laufey’s son.”

“ _What_? But wh-... How-”

Loki rolled his eyes and caught Thor’s bottle as it slipped from his hand, “I think you know how babies are made, Thor. As I recall you had no problem passing _that class_.”

Thor blinked, his mouth opening and closing around several attempts at an answer. When it became clear that all of his brain capacity was dedicated to considering this new development Loki heaved a sigh and put the bottle between them on the bench.

“But how did you-,” Complete sentences were not his brother’s forte at the moment.

“Thor,” Loki shot his brother an exasperated glance, “you’re not the only one with friends in the information gathering business.”

“How long have you known?” This was an odd question. As if Thor feared Loki might have kept this secret from him for ages. He obviously knew little about his irritating influence on Loki’s behavior.

“I only found out recently.” Loki took a sip from his drink.

Thor stared at him with wide eyes and Loki wondered if his brother was trying to find some family resemblance to Laufey.

“But... but then we have to stop this.” He said eventually.

“Why?”

Thor gaped, “Because _he’s your father_. Loki, we’re about to put _your father_ in prison.”

Loki gave a nonchalant shrug and leaned back, “Why should that stop us?”

It seemed Thor had severe difficulties with the idea that Loki didn’t want anything to do with Laufey. And how could he? All he had ever known were people who loved him unconditionally - and that included Loki. Neither hate nor love required any sort of conditions so whichever way Loki looked at it he was screwed.

“Look,” Loki decided to help, “he wasn’t exactly father material back when I was born and I seriously doubt he is now. Do you really think I have any desire to get to know a man who couldn’t care less about my existence?

“Besides,” he went on, “Laufey is a dangerous, megalomaniac criminal who has been allowed to roam free for far too long. Your words, brother. Oh, and let’s not forget _he put a bullet in me_.”

“But don’t you want to know what,” Thor wrung his hands, “you know... what it’s like?”

Loki’s expression darkened, “I think I have a pretty good idea of what he’s like, thank you very much.”

“No. I mean...,” Thor had a prominent tendency to make people see reason with his fists so when he was stuck with words he always seemed horribly lost. He ran his hand through his hair, letting out a deep breath, “I mean, geez, Loki, he’s your _father_.”

Circling around the same arguments was their favorite past time. But Loki was tired of the same scenery over and over again so he took his beer and got up.

“I had a father,” he said quietly, “he’s dead. Let’s leave it at that.”

“Loki, wait.”

He turned around in the doorway, expecting Thor to pick up the thread of their conversation but his brother merely smiled.

Loki knew that look. It meant something dreadfully schmoopy was about to come out of his brother’s mouth.

He rolled his eyes, “Oh please, don’t break your brain. I know.”

Thor’s baritone laugh followed him inside.

“You love me too, right?” Thor called from outside and Loki smiled.

“Yes. Whenever you’re not being a spoiled prat.”


	26. And One For The Road

Alex had done a marvelous job at winding up Laufey. Throughout the week he and Sean had been interfering with all of Laufey’s deals, his races, basically whenever Laufey had set foot outside his door they had been there to cause trouble.

They were new enough that people figured they were suffering from a suicidal form of naivety. And upon subtle insistence on Loki’s part Laufey had agreed to a race.

“Just out of curiosity,” Sean peered up at them while letting the steel cable drop into the darkness beneath him, “why am I stuck with the sewer gig?”

“Would you rather drag Laufey kicking and screaming across the city?” Loki inquired.

Sean visibly shuddered, “Sewer sounds good.”

“Remember, we only got one shot at this.” Loki said as Thor crouched down to hand Sean the hook at the end of the cable.

“No pressure then, huh?” Sean gave them a miserable look.

“Keep your head down and you’ll be fine.” Thor reassured the red-head with an encouraging smile. It was almost believable.

Sean gave a nod that matched his miserable expression, “Will do.”

They left Sean below street level and made their way back to their cars, pulling two steel cables along with them as they walked.

“Are you really sure about this?” Thor asked and Loki grimaced.

“If you ask me one more time I swear I am going to run you over.”

“You wouldn’t dare.”

“I would _try_.”

Thor gave him a look that wavered between amused and slightly worried but he never got a chance to reply.

Sif’s voice crackled over the comms, _”Look alive, boys. The race is about to start.”_

She was the closest to the starting point. The rest of their crew was strategically positioned along the route with Hogun at the last checkpoint around the corner.

Loki secured the cable in the mount on the rear of his Mustang while Thor did the same on his Camaro on the other side of the street. This part of town was deserted at this time of night - somewhat elementary to an illegal street race - but if anyone had passed by they would have discovered two steel cables running across the asphalt and ending in a drain in the middle of the road that made a lot of _’Ew!’_ and _’Oh God something touched my leg!’_ noises.

Loki slid into the driver’s seat and prepared himself for the wait, which resulted in him pestering Alex over the comms. Irritating other people always calmed him down.

“Alex...,” he smirked because he could picture the kid sitting in his shiny new ride, stiff like a plank and trying to look badass, “Try to make it a challenge for him, will you?”

_”Shut up, I’m trying to concentrate here.”_

“Just remember, left is the clutch, right is the gas.”

_”Can someone please punch him in the face?”_

_”Loki, stop it.”_ Thor chimed in, possibly sending a warning glare in his direction, _“Sorry, Alex. He does that when he’s nervous.”_

“I’m not nervous,” Loki said, miffed, “I am acutely anticipatory.”

He heard Thor sigh, _”That’s just nervous in longer words. Don’t worry, this will work.”_

Loki scowled at the other car, “Are you deaf? I said I’m not worried.”

 _”Alright, ladies,”_ Sif cut in, _”can we focus? You can continue insulting each other afterwards.”_

Nobody argued. Her tone of voice suggested that anyone who tried would personally suffer the consequences.

 _”Good. Thank you.”_ The engine of Sif’s Evo roared to life in the background, _”Get your act together, they’re about to kick off.”_

In his head Loki counted with her.

_Ready._

_Set._

_Go._

Loki’s grip on his steering wheel tightened. This was it; no turning back now. The good thing was if this didn’t work out they were dead either way.

 _”They just passed me.”_ Sif said, _”Kid’s not even half bad. He’s leading.”_

 _”He does know that it’s not actually necessary for him to win, right?”_ Fandral mused.

 _”Does it matter?”_ Volstagg grumbled in reply, _”So long as he doesn’t crash and burn.”_

_”Guys, I can hear you!”_

_”Uh... sorry.”_

_”By the way,”_ Fandral sounded entirely too cheery for the situation, _”they just passed me. I figure two minutes to your checkpoint, Volstagg. Put down the chicken wings and pay attention.”_

 _”I am not eating!”_ And Loki would have believed him if there hadn’t been the distinctive sound of plastic being hastily crumpled up. These comms had marvelous sound quality.

They also transmitted the ugly sound of screeching metal and tires fighting to maintain grip in narrow turns. He winced as he was forced to listen to the steady stream of curses at every crunching sound.

Volstagg gave them a heads-up and then Hogun was the only one left before it would be up to Thor and Loki to deliver the final blow. But judging by Alex’s continued swearing Laufey had still not engaged the inertial damper.

If Alex didn’t provoke Laufey some more this whole plan was going to be nothing but a paper tissue in a rainstorm - a nice idea but essentially useless.

The problem was that they were about to bring a moving vehicle to a complete and abrupt standstill. And not just that - within the same motion they needed to pull it in the opposite direction it had come from.

Mother nature had never accounted for such a maneuver.

But that was where Tony Stark and his invention came in. They removed mother nature from the picture and told physics to suck it up by reducing the drag of a car at top speed to something barely stronger than a bag of feathers. If the device was switched on Loki could stop it with his little finger. If not... well, then said finger was the only thing they were going to find of him.

Hogun informed them that the two racers had passed his checkpoint and Loki was about to tell Alex to get a move on when a cheer sounded over the comms.

_”Whoa! Here we go! Whatever just happened, it worked. Coming in hot, guys. Watch out.”_

Loki had just enough time to take a deep breath before Laufey came rushing towards them. He was barely more than a blur and practically glued to the concrete.

Loki smirked.

The Challenger thundered past them and the only warning they got was Sean’s yelp over the comms. Then it was all a matter of reflexes.

The Mustang’s engine roared angrily and the tires squealed as he swerved onto the road in perfect synch with Thor.

The telltale tug that the fish was on the hook came a split-second after Loki had engaged the handbrake, rooting the Mustang to the spot. Thor did the same and now it was one very angry fish with zero leverage versus two rocks.

Loki forced in the first gear and with a quick glance to his brother released the handbrake. He could feel the pull of Laufey’s car dragging him backwards for a second but even with the device switched off Laufey had no chance of getting away.

Two sets of tires left rubber marks on the asphalt as they sped off, tugging Laufey along backwards and probably screaming bloody murder.

\---

This was a lot harder than it looked. Towing a dead car was easy enough but when it still had a functioning engine, brakes, and a driver who was doing everything humanly possible to veer you off course it became a problem.

They slithered around the corner in a wider arc than anticipated. Loki’s Mustang was the dark shadow to Thor’s flashy Camaro as things behind them splintered, crashed, and were decidedly uncooperative.

 _”You’re clear for the next two intersections.”_ Sif reported, _”Hogun is scouting ahead. Cops are on the move.”_

The police were the least of their worries. Right now Loki’s most pressing concern was the next corner which was followed by a traffic island and offered not nearly enough space to maneuver alongside his brother.

He made ready to yield and go for a bumpy ride over the sidewalk when Thor surprised him. They drifted around the corner and the Camaro suddenly swerved to the left into the oncoming traffic.

Thankfully, Sif and The Three had made sure that there would be only little traffic heading their way. But the few cars and trucks that did pass them were thoroughly surprised by a bright red Camaro coming right at them.

Between them the steel cable stretched over the traffic island, mowing down whatever vegetation was in the way.

They took out three fire hydrants, something that looked like a junction box, and a speed camera. Somebody was going to be very wet, without internet, but with a free pass for speeding for the rest of the night.

“Alex,” Loki hissed as he overtook a truck to keep up with Thor, “A little help here?”

 _”Sorry, had to pick up something from the sewers.”_ Alex’s orange abomination came into view behind Laufey.

_”Very funny... Oh god, I smell like old cat food.”_

Alex abstained from any witty replies and gave Laufey’s car a hearty push in the right direction.

Good boy. Now Laufey could neither accelerate nor brake without totaling the Challenger.

 _”Er, guys?”_ The tone in Alex’s voice was not to Loki’s liking, _”He does not look happy. Actually, he looks pretty pissed. And he’s staring right at m-… shit! Gun!”_

That was not entirely unexpected but the sudden jerk as Alex winged it out of the line of fire was. Loki struggled to keep the Mustang on the road when Laufey suddenly started driving in zigzag again.

Loki accidentally shredded a row of bushes before Thor could get back on the right side of the road to help balance things out.

 _”Why the fuck does he even have a gun?”_ Alex yelled while trying to shove Laufey back on track from the side. But if Laufey didn’t have a problem firing through his windshield he certainly had no qualms about shooting his side window to pieces either.

 _”This was supposed to be a race!”_ Alex went on and it was beginning to get a little hard to ignore, _”What did he think he would need a gun for?”_

Loki let the steering wheel snap back after a turn, noting Fandral and Volstagg falling in line behind them from the side alley.

He bared his teeth in an ugly sneer that, sadly, nobody could see, “He likes to make his victories permanent.”

 _”Oh god.”_ That was Sean who sounded like he was either going to puke or faint.

“Aren’t you glad we’re doing this?” Loki grinned and he realized it might have been bordering on manic. Too bad he had no passengers to scare shitless.

 _”Fuck you! I will never listen to anything you say ever again!”_ Alex screamed over the sound of a front bumper coming off and igniting sparks on the asphalt.

Meanwhile, Fandral and Volstagg had fallen back, making for a very nice vehicular cage. And Laufey was running out of bullets.

Hogun and Sif were still ahead clearing the roads.

They did have an impressive blue and white tail by now. But none of the police cars dared to come near them out of fear of getting wiped off the street with a Dodge on a hook. They need not have worried - they were going to be busy in a moment anyway.

Thor took the inner lane as they rounded the last corner onto the boulevard leading up to Stark Industries. There was considerably more traffic here but thanks to their involuntary police escort people saw them coming from a mile away.

”What do you say, brother, one for the cameras?” Loki glanced to his left and caught Thor smiling back.

_”With pleasure.”_

The needle on Loki’s speedometer quivered as he put the pedal to the metal, burying it in the red end of the scale. Next to him Thor matched him mile for mile, perfectly level.

Their friends disappeared into the rearview mirror, chased by a pool of blinking lights and sirens. They were going to be alright, Loki had no doubt about it. Even Alex and Sean. If there was one thing notorious street racers were good at it was to lose the police.

All that was left to do now was to drop off the package.

The cavalry was already waiting in front of the building. Stark had kept his word then. Good.

They angled for the right hand side of the avenue and side by side they drifted past the entrance in a graceful arc that flung Laufey right into the middle of the plaza. There was nothing Laufey could do.

Loki flipped the switch that released the cable from the mount and within seconds they were gone from the scene before any of the cops could even lift a finger.

The last thing he saw was the battered wreck of Laufey’s car sitting in the center of a quickly tightening ring of law enforcement.

If he were the type to do such a thing he would have high-fived someone right now.

\---

They rounded a few blocks to lose the cops who had been delusional enough to try and follow them and eventually doubled back to a corner further down the road from Stark Tower.

Thor kept on driving alongside him as far as the layout of the streets allowed which Loki wasn’t sure if he found cute or annoying. But there was a certain serenity in the way they moved through the late night traffic. It helped to get the adrenaline level back to normal.

The others reported in via phone calls or text messages and most of them seemed to have made it back home safely. This included Alex and Sean, for some reason. Loki had the growing suspicion that their patchwork family had just sprouted two new extensions.

Loki let the Mustang roll to a halt at the corner and got out to sit on the hood to watch the spectacle in front of Stark Industries. Men peered into the engine room of Laufey’s car, heated conversations were had, phone calls to numerous government agencies were made, Loki presumed, and squat in the middle was Tony Stark trying very hard not to gloat.

Loki was gently rubbing his sore shoulder when the Camaro stopped next to him.

“Jane called,” Thor said as he walked up to Loki, “they found Laufey’s buddy from the crash down in Mexico. She says they’re bringing him back this week to testify against Laufey.”

No honor amongst thieves. Well, Loki could relate.

He pointedly ignored the mention of Jane and to his astonishment Thor didn’t even comment on it.

Thor flopped down to Loki’s right, equally staring at the scene on the grand plaza. They sat there in silence for a long while until the commotion died down and even Tony Stark made his way back inside after a subtle nod in their direction.

Now that the action was over Loki wasn’t sure what was going to happen. This was a foreign concept to him. It was hard to make plans if you didn’t know where you stood.

Thor had been amicable enough throughout this whole endeavor but too much had changed. Too many mistakes on both sides had left the ground burnt between them. Thor didn’t see it that way, most likely, but Loki was not convinced that they could fix what was broken this time around.

He wasn’t even sure if he _wanted_ it fixed.

But no matter how this turned out Loki was prepared to fight for his rightful place. He set his jaw and waited for Thor to make the first move. It was always easier to dodge than to attack.

The verbal vacuum threatened to take a bite out of infinity when Thor suddenly clasped his shoulder and smiled, “Let’s go home, brother.”

Loki blinked, unsure of whether he had misheard or not. But Thor simply slid off the hood and beckoned Loki to follow. The smile on his face was so genuine that it felt like tumbling into a heap of pillows - soft and warm and not questioning where you came from.

Thor, the merciful. This was so typical. Just when Loki expected a blow to the gut Thor would let up and extend his hand in an offer of peace.

The thing about peace treaties though was that they usually came with a catch and Loki had a nasty habit of looking for it until he found it.

“Back to business as usual then, I presume?” Loki snorted and it actually stopped Thor in mid-stride.

Thor’s shoulders heaved as he sighed before he turning around, “Loki...”

“What?” Loki hopped off the Mustang, ignoring the emotional needles in his own words, “Am I wrong?”

“As a matter of fact? Yes.” Thor boxed him in against the hood of the Mustang and looked him straight in the eye. Loki was prepared for a lot - a full-on fight, a new argument, resignation, anything.

What he wasn’t prepared for was the kiss Thor suddenly pulled him into.

“I’ve changed.” Thor said, their mouths still close enough for their breaths to mingle.

“Well, so have I.” Loki replied, not backing down.

“I know.” Thor growled and Loki blinked in confusion, “And we’re not even done yet.”

Then he shoved a non-descript white envelope at Loki.

“Don’t _ever_ lie to me like that again.” Thor poked at Loki’s chest in warning while Loki was still busy examining the letter.

“What is that?”

“Half of Asgard Motors. All that’s missing is your signature.”

“ _What?_ ” This time he must have misheard for sure.

“Are you deaf?” A small smile crept onto Thor’s face, “I said it’s half of Asgard Motors. Your half. If you want it.”

There were so many words crammed on the tip of Loki’s tongue that he feared he might choke on them. Thor merely chuckled and cupped Loki’s face with both hands and placed a kiss on his forehead that couldn’t have conveyed more love if he’d tried, “All you had to do was _ask_. Anything for you, brother. Anything.”

Big words. But strangely, when Loki looked up Thor seemed big enough to hold true for them.

“Come on.” Thor winked as he stepped away, “I’ll race you. Last one home gets pizza for everyone.”

Loki fiddled with the envelope in his hand, not daring to open it just yet. Slowly, he allowed a pleased grin to unfold on his lips, “I’ll have a large triple cheese with onions. And make sure they don’t put anchovies on it like last time.”

“Tell them yourself.” Thor laughed and hurried over to his car. He revved up the engine of the Camaro like a battle cry.

“Show-off.” Loki murmured as he settled into the driver’s seat of the Mustang, the document secure in the inside pocket of his jacket.

_His half._

Well, half of something was better than all of nothing. It still wasn’t _everything_ but Loki was willing to see how far _something_ would get him.

**Author's Note:**

> Yay! You made it! \o/ And since this is a multi-media experience please pretend these are the end credits and have some [theme music](http://exampleofinconsistency.tumblr.com/post/24467961722).
> 
> And if you're interested here are this fic's protagonists on four wheels:
> 
> [Loki's Ford Mustang Boss](http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m17kibsdK31r49caho1_1280.jpg) (with added doodling by me)  
> [Loki's backside aka The Little Shit Side Of Life](http://ic.pics.livejournal.com/amcw177/5033433/315419/original.jpg)  
> [Loki's Ford RS 500](http://ic.pics.livejournal.com/amcw177/5033433/314077/original.jpg) for all your sneaky needs
> 
> [Thor's Chevrolet Camaro SS](http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m17kibsdK31r49caho2_1280.jpg) (and some more doodling) (I'm sorry.)
> 
> [The 21st Century Home-Made Odinson Chariot - Volkswagen Polo WRC](http://ic.pics.livejournal.com/amcw177/5033433/297676/original.jpg) (more doodling because obviously I wasn't sorry enough)  
> [Sif's Mitsubishi Lancer Evo X](http://ic.pics.livejournal.com/amcw177/5033433/314547/original.jpg)  
> In order of appearance: (and not 100% correct but the picture was so perfect let's pretend it is) [Volstagg - BMW 135i, Fandral - Porsche Carrera GT, Hogun - Audi TT RS2](http://ic.pics.livejournal.com/amcw177/5033433/314682/original.jpg)  
> [Alex and Sean's Nissan 370Z aka 'The Orange Abomination'](http://ic.pics.livejournal.com/amcw177/5033433/315373/original.jpg)  
> [Odin's 1968 Dodge Charger](http://ic.pics.livejournal.com/amcw177/5033433/314959/original.jpg)  
> [Laufey's 1971 Dodge Challenger RT](http://ic.pics.livejournal.com/amcw177/5033433/313655/original.jpg)
> 
> Above pictures were found on tumblr which is not really a source but the only one I've got since it is what Google Image Search told me they were from. Nothing's mine except for the derpy doodling.
> 
> To conclude this parade of imagery, here is a little something that the amazing Kchanlp surprised me with last Christmas when this fic wasn't even half done yet. I threatened to put it online and I hope she will forgive me for wanting to share this gloriousness: [Fuel For Mischief, ladies and gentlemen](http://ic.pics.livejournal.com/amcw177/5033433/314226/original.jpg).
> 
> And that's it, folks. Thanks for your time! :)
> 
>  **EDIT:** Stormbrite @ LJ made an amazing header edit for this fic. Go and check it out [here](http://stormbrite.livejournal.com/1490.html)!


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